Shuffle
by Ysabet
Summary: A Kaitou Kid YuGiOh crossover. When heists go wrong, they go WRONG. And sometimes magics mix in the oddest of ways... Watch out for the frozen tuna. NEW UPDATE AS OF DECEMBER 29, 2006! Tiger, tiger, burning bright...
1. Cutting the Cards

_**Shuffle: A Kaitou Kid/YuGiOh! Crossover  
**__**By Ysabet**_

**_1._****_ Cutting the Cards_**

Up until what Kaito later thought of as _That #$!ing Accident,_ the day had gone pretty smoothly, all told, really it had. Things Had Happened As Planned. But that was then and now it was _NOW_ and things just weren't going right at all…

* * *

**_Three hours earlier:_**

He had been doing his last pre-heist checkups in the Kodachi Memorial Convention Center hallway, and things had been going okay—a bit crowded, but hey; crowds were fine, if anything went pear-shaped, crowds made it easier to slip away, didn't they?. _Busy, though,_ Kaito had thought a little bemusedly, and not with the usual conventioneers either; for the most part these were determined-looking people clutching small boxes or containers of one sort or another had been hurrying back and forth between rooms, and hadn't he seen some sort of table full of fliers advertising—

_What on earth is 'Solid Sound Hologram' technology? Sounds interesting…_

--oh yeah, it'd been _games_ of some sort. They had some big gamer's convention going on that day. Kaitou blinked at a group of middle-schoolers as they jostled him in their rush for the escalator; they swerved, too intent on their conversation to even apologize, and he caught a scrap or two as they passed:

"—deck? I dunno, I got ripped to pieces when I tried that before. Maybe if I bring in a Cyber Bondage and—"  
"—shit _yeah_ he's good; he won at that big tournament last year up in Ise, swatted the best player they had like he was a—"  
"—think that girl from the French group might want to trade? I've got two Harp Spirits and an extra Giant of Stone, but I want—"

Oh; _card_ games, role-playing, right? Or something. That sort of stuff had never really appealed to Kaito, not counting poker—he had enough roles as it was.

_Besides,_ he thought smugly as he slipped through a crowded doorway to one of the function rooms, _I've got a heist to take care of tonight. There's a big, fat emerald with my name on it just waiting for me. Betcha Nakamori's frothing at the mouth about this crowd, though; what a security nightmare._ Of course, only part of the Convention Center had been given over to the gamers; Kaito knew for a fact that a private gem showing was being held in the east wing of the building (the part with all the plainclothes cops and the newly-installed alarm system. Convention Security was really proud of its new system; it was just a pity that the newer the technology, the easier it was get the skinny on if you were _really good_ at hacking on the Internet—and Kaito, being a kaitou, was quite good, in the way that you could say that Mount Fuji was 'quite a mountain'.)

Jeeze, gamers were noisy. Sharp senses scanning the crowd like radar, he continued to listen as he walked:

"—you're on, loser. Just watch; betcha five hundred yen I'll make it at least two levels further than you do this year—"  
"—time. One really can't understand the game unless you've been at it for at least a couple of years. These younger duelists—"  
"—saw this guy cosplaying Dark Magician and he was HOT. So afterwards I went up and asked him to show me his—"  
"—tuna? Aw man, I _hate_ tuna onigiri, couldn't you have picked up something else? Now my whole deck's gonna smell like—"

Kaito winced in sympathy; ugh, tunafish... He dodged another group (college students this time) and stepped sideways--

"_**OOF!"**_

--only to end up ass-over-teakettle in a sprawling heap on the floor with a knot of teenagers who had been traveling the other direction.

Cards and bodies went tumbling; "#$!"he sputtered as he picked himself up; how embarrassing (_but good for your cover, isn't it?_ said the thief inside his head as he checked reflexively to make sure that his current disguise was still intact). A chorus of complaints and pained noises blended in with his own, and the people he had smacked into climbed to their feet over each other and over Kaito, who yelped.

"Aaaack! Yuug', get your butt out of my face--"  
"OWW Anzu that's my FOOT _yaargh watch where you put your kneeeeeeeeyaaaagh_—"  
"—Oh, Honda-kun, I'm so sorry—"

A disheveled-looking blond shoved his hair from his face as he scrambled upright, grabbing a loosely rubber-banded deck; one of his companions was already scooping up his own fallen cards with quick, deft fingers that caught Kaito's eye; _Good hands on him, could almost be a magician himself—or a thief; heh._ The kid (short, with unquestionably the _weirdest_ hair he'd ever run across, and that was saying a lot) looked up apologetically as Kaito picked up a few items of his own. _--program and map, check, notebook, check, cards for my cardgun, whoops, check--_

"Are you okay? _Gomen ne_, we were in a hurry—"

Wow; the kid had the _biggest_ Bambi-eyes Kaito had ever seen; girls probably fell all over him, with that innocent look and a smile that could light up a room. Shame he was so short. _Aoko'd want to take him home and feed him; Akako'd eat him for dinner, probably with a dipping sauce and maybe a side of asparagus._ Mentally he shook himself. "No problem—here, let me help you with that—" The guy's cards had gone all over the place; a few minutes of mutual scrambling with the others in his group had them together. His own deck (the special one, not the usual) was scooped up quickly before anybody else could touch it and wonder about the weight; metal-reinforced cards did not feel like regular ones. Hands still working automatically, Kaito rocked back onto his heels and peered up at the younger teens. "You guys are gamers, huh?"

"Duelists." That was the tallest of the bunch, the one who had stepped aside and missed being part of the mass-fallout. A smaller black-haired kid peered around from behind him. "'Gamers' are people who rattle dice, move little lead miniatures around on tables and seldom shower enough." Cold, impatient eyes swept over the thief and he suppressed a mental shiver.

_Iceberg. Cold fish if I ever saw one. Ergh. _He shuddered, mentally changing the thought to_ 'bad audience'_ instead. "Sorry." With a sort of half-shrug-half-bow, Kaito straightened up and passed over the last handful of fallen cards. "You guys playing in any of the tournaments today? I saw a schedule…" His half-question petered out at the cold-eyed teenager's small smile.

"You could say that. Never mind; just watch where you're going." With a swirl of white trenchcoat, the other turned on his heel and strode off into the crowd, leaving his friends (?) behind. Said maybe-friends looked at each other, shrugged, and hurried off in the same direction, the last one (the one who had been hiding behind Mister Attitude) lingering to give him an apologetic look.

"Sorry—Nii-sama hates it when they start a match without him. G'bye—" And he scurried off, yelling for the others to wait up.

_'Nii-sama'? Whoa. REALLY cold f—I mean, bad audience. No, I take that back; let's call a fish a fish. Frozen fish; possibly tuna. Brrrrr._ The thief shook his head and then went his own way.

And that should have been the end of it.

* * *

**_Two Hours Earlier:_**

"—brings up the possibility that the cards draw on something in the creative depths of the mind." The lecturer looked out at his audience (of which Kaito was one; and man, was he regretting it. '_Strategies And Tactics: A Psychological Overview' _had been what the program said, and it had looked interesting, but it was boring, BORING, boring.) The lecturer droned on. "If we were to look into the supposed Egyptian roots of the game, we'd find all sorts of archetypes; an obvious theme would be the various priest and magic icons acting as defensive forces, or the sacrificial rituals evidenced in—"

_Blahdeeblahdeeblahh. Even Nakamori's pre-heist pep-talks are more interesting than this._ Kaito amused himself for a few minutes by picking the pocket of the guy slumped half-dozing in the chair beside him, examining the contents (an overstuffed wallet, four mismatched dice, a half-full matchbox, a set of keys, two foil-wrapped condoms (apparently even gamers—'duelists'-- got some occasionally) and a lot of lint) before replacing it all; the guy never noticed.

_Aaargh. Dueling cards… monster cards, trap cards, magic cards… They can keep 'em. Not my style._

"—the cards exist as much inside our minds as on the board. It's plain to see that the better players have mastered visualization techniques that allow them to call upon this, to work with the archetypes as if they were manifest." The lecturer directed a thin smile towards his audience. "Occasionally one even hears rumors of, ah, _actual _manifestations outside the hologram arenas, but these are of course just fantasies. As much as it would be interesting to see a Curse of Dragon or a Kuribou materialize into the real world, it's important to remember that cards are just cards, and the game is only a game…"

Kaito turned his head; someone a few seats down from him had snorted softly at that last comment. _? Hey, it's one of the guys I ran into earlier, the one with the punk hair. _The small, spiky guy was sitting with his arms crossed, muttering softly to himself; funny, he had looked a lot nicer earlier, and he…

Kaito stiffened, cold creeping down his spine. _…something's… wrong?_

Light danced across the pendant-thingy that the spiky guy was wearing as the teenager turned sideways to say something to the scruffy kid sitting next to him; for a second, his face looked…

…_different._

_darker? His eyes are--_

…and then, no, he was-- fine. Perfectly Okay, emphasis on the 'kay' part; same Bambi-eyes and all. Just another high-school kid barely younger than himself with a really freaky dye-job and a thing for black outfits and dog-collars. No problem there; nice jewelry for a Goth, though most of them tended towards silver, not gold. Cute girl on his other side, not a Goth. Kaito mentally thumped himself on the head as he settled back into his seat again; Goths were usually okay (though he preferred to wear white himself) so…

…why oh **why** was his Weirdness Radar going _ping-ping-ping_ right off the scope? Maybe it was the hair. _I mean, what IS he—blond, brunet or redhead?_

_Rrrgh._

He eyed the kid sideways (God, he really was short, wasn't he?) for a little while, noticing the restless way the other's fingers flipped and reshuffled his deck of cards when the lecture got particularly boring. You could learn a lot about people from their hands. This kid's fingers were thin and strong, callused along the tips of the pads; his forearms had faint traces of scuffs where something had been buckled or fastened—bracers? No, it was only the one arm. Surreptitiously Kaito checked the scruffy blond beside him; yeah, he had the same marks creasing the sleeve of his shirt.

_Fingers of somebody who handles paper a lot, but those scuffs—huh. Interesting. I saw some sort of gizmos on display earlier, maybe those-- And hey, what was with that weird attitude earlier? Like when Kudo knows I'm around but can't see me, that same kind of alert feeling… I don't like this. The sooner I get this heist over, the better. Gamers, duelists, whatever… I'd rather play poker anytime. Never mind; concentrate on the heist, just a little while longer and it'll be time to play MY kind of games…_

_……but my radar's still going off. Nggh. I don't like this. Something feels itchy, like when Hakuba's watching me from behind my back. Like when I know Kudo's around but I can't see HIM._ His gaze flicked sideways again, back to Short n' Spiky; the kid's eyes were intent on the lecturer, and Kaito tuned him in again for a second:

"—so-called 'God Cards' based on Egyptian mythology, Ra and Osiris and so forth, supposed icons of unlimited power--"

"Almost unlimited," murmured Spiky; his blond friend muttered something uneasy-sounding in return and the kid shrugged, smiling slightly and settling back in his chair with his arms crossed. The heavy pyramid-thingie hanging around his neck glittered as if it might've been made out of actual gold than the brass it was sure to be. Teenage Goths just didn't run around with real gold pendants big enough to choke a horse around their necks, nope.

_Oh well._ The lecturer was droning on about the roots of mythology now, and Kaito could feel a headache coming on; he rubbed at his eyes, careful not to smear the makeup that was currently darkening his skin-tone. _I'll just keep an eye on the kid for a bit, see if I can figure out what it is about him that's setting off my alarms. Not like I've got much else to do, really; everything's in place, everything's ready—I just have to be there on time. Can't keep my target or the cops waiting; wouldn't be good manners, and I'm supposed to be a gentleman thief, aren't I? Heh._

And so he settled back himself with a yawn that was was only half-feigned, to watch.

Half an hour later, he had several facts down…

One: Duelists tended to play with their decks when bored. (And he didn't even want to _start_ on the innuendos that a person could pull out of _that.)  
_Two: A lot of the duelists knew each other, whether or not they were sitting together; they constantly scanned the crowd, pausing as they hit on familiar faces.  
Three: Duelists, for the most part, had good hands. Even the rough-looking blond beside Spiky (he could recognize a street-fighter when he saw one) had deft, dexterous fingers. _Wonder if any of 'em have sidelines similar to mine?_Kaito mused.  
Four: They held grudges. BIG TIME did they ever. There had been some major Looks shot back and forth across the lecture hall that would have curled the hair of worse than Nakamori.  
Five: They were, unquestionably, very protective of their decks. Most of them carried the cards in cases, bags, boxes or belt-pouches; Spiky had his in a belt-mounted case, while Blondie had just stuffed his inside his jacket. But anytime one of those intimidating _Let's-Fight_ looks crossed, hands crept up to cover or slide along the edges of their cards.

_Hm; maybe if I got a closer look--?_ Spiky was still giving him bad vibes, and the others of his group were sitting a little further away. _Wonder where Mr. Frozen Tuna and his little bro went? Never mind; Blondie there has his deck right inside his jacket, a little sidestep and stumble and taaa-daaaaa, no problem. Sheesh. Better never wear this disguise again—I'm giving this face a reputation for being a klutz._

And that was how it went.

It had been easy—the lecture had finally finished (definitely with more of a whimper than a bang) and everybody had tromped towards the exit in the usual stampeding herd, desperate to get to something more exciting and shake some life into legs that had long since gone to sleep. He had slid sideways in the crowd, jogged a bit _this_ way, dodged a backpack-laden bunch of gamers (oops, duelists) heading _that_ way, and stuck a long leg out as he turned—

"_AAACK!"  
_"Jou—"  
"Itaii!"  
"Oh man, not _again--_ Shit, I am so sorry—"

--and it had been easy to flip the rubber-banded deck _right_ out of the guy's jacket. So easy, in fact, that it had been a complete surprise to find the rubber-band snapping, sending brown-backed cards absolutely everywhere…..

The next few minutes had been a scramble of reaching hands and no few glares; apparently Blondie was fairly well known among the dueling community (Kaito caught several mutters about 'Battle City finalist'; he'd have to look that one up later). And dammit, there was no way to get more than a passing look at the guy's deck, not in that mess…

…so he'd just have to examine a few cards instead. He'd return them later, of course.

With Blondie throwing him an exasperated glare, he apologetically left the lecture hall and made his way to a small service alcove to one side of the crowds; it wouldn't be a good idea to pull out his prizes right there, after all—

_Hmmm. 'Red Eyes Black Dragon'…… nice art. Looks like it's been used a lot, the corners are foxed. Wonder if it's a good card or not? What else've we got… Celtic Guardian…. Some kind of cyber…thingie?…… and a dog with a unicorn-horn, weird… Huh._ Kaito scratched his head, baffled.

_I don't get it. Maybe I need to watch them play—_

Oh well; never mind. Not much time left before the heist; maybe he could return them afterwards. If not, the convention was supposed to last all weekend—he'd find run into Blondie again eventually. It wasn't that big a deal.

* * *

**_One hour earlier:_**

…and he had been feeling maybe _just_ a little bad about those cards. Because Blondie and his spiky friend and the rest of his bunch had been charging back and forth across the convention center like demented bloodhounds, the looks on their faces ranging from abject horror to homicidal rage, depending on who was doing the looking. _Somebody_ was in deep trouble, and if Blondie figured out who had snitched his precious cards…

_Jeeze; if he'd just slow down for five minutes, I'd sneak 'em back into his pocket. Where's he getting all that energy?_

'Course, it wasn't like he could throw stones or anything… Kaito sighed as they went charging past again. Maybe if he stuck his foot out again, he could-- nahh. Too clumsy. Too coincidental. Too lacking in _style._ Anyway… it was about time to start thinking seriously about getting ready for his heist, the whole reason he was there in the first place. _Hello, Earth to Thief Boy—Showtime, remember? Big, fat emerald? Forget about Spiky and his friends, you can catch up with 'em later._

Subduing a feeling of guilt as Blondie and his troop went dashing past double-time yet _again_, he turned towards the elevators. His gear was stowed away safely several floors up, and he needed to focus.

In front of him, the elevator chimed as the car reached ground floor and prepared to open; Kaito flexed his fingers, already beginning to do the mental warm-ups that led to becoming the Kid. _Get your brain working, Kuroba… Nakamori's waiting with his goon squad and so's the target; you never know; tonight might be the night when you find the real McCoy, the Pandora Stone itself, and then--_

The doors opened, and he stepped forward—

"**_AAACK!"  
_**"_**#!$!"**_

--into a striding flurry of white trenchcoat and a brief blizzard of flying cards. AGAIN. And this time it wasn't even deliberate.

From his undignified sprawl before the elevators, a familiar glare nailed Kaito cold. "YOU."

Kaito swallowed. "Frozen Tuna!"

"—what?"

"—uh—"

Ignoring all efforts to help him up (and giving Kaito a look that clearly showed doubts about his mental status), Mister Frozen Tuna-san climbed to his feet. "I suppose it was inevitable," he snapped as he collected his fallen cards and carefully shuffled them back into his belt-case. "Do you ever watch where you're going? Brainless idiot. Count yourself lucky, if I wasn't in a hurry-- Even the Mutt's better on his feet--" Blue eyes icy, he strode away angrily into the parting crowds.

Kaito pulled himself up, blinking after the departing white trenchcoat. "Was it something I said?" He glanced down at the brown-backed card that he had reflexively snatched out of the air, and a small smile crooked his lips. Sometimes the fingers just worked on autopilot… "Hmmm. Wonder what this one's for?" he asked himself out loud, slipping it into a handy pocket.

Oh well; he'd take a better look at it later…..

_After_ his heist.

* * *

_**Fifteen minutes earlier:**_

White-gloved hands fingered the contents of various pockets.

_Cardgun: _check. _Loaded?_ Yes. _Smokebombs: _check. _Sonic-boom Specials: _yup. _Concussive grenades: _more than enough.

No watch was needed; inside the thief's head, a counter was ticking off the seconds with perfect accuracy, one after the other. A hat was tugged down a little more firmly, and thin white fingers adjusted the set of a monocle.

_Okay; we go in, we mess with Nakamori's head, we take the target, we get out via the third-story air-ducts. Nice of Keibu-san to go through 'em yesterday morning and put grills in at all the junctures; it made it that much easier last night for me to knock 'em loose. Substandard welds, though; tsk tsk._

_Do I have enough sleeping-gas boomers on me this time to go around? It wouldn't be fair of me not to bring enough for everybody… Yeah, got 'em, got the Pink Smoke ones too. _A thumb slid along the edge of his deck, and he frowned at the feel; something wasn't right… Wait, there were loose cards in his pocket. _Can't be having that; don't want to get myself sliced up accidentally. That would amuse Nakamori far too much._ Careful fingers shuffled the wayward cards automatically into their pack, slotting them into the cardgun's magazine. _There._

_Everything ready? Check….. check…….. and check. Come to me, my leetle emerald. Let's see what you're made of._

_Let's go.

* * *

_

_**Now:**_

And it was _showtime,_ and he had just aimed his card-gun and fired at the floor in front of Nakamori and his good-squad. It had been a playful gesture on his part; the card he had been expecting was one of his Pink Smoke Specials, with the sleep-gas emitter built in; after all, Nakamori-keibu had looked awfully tired. Too many late nights; the poor guy probably needed a nap—hey, he'd thank him for it someday, maybe...

Except, well… now it didn't look like _any_ of them would be getting much sleep for a while.

And as the Kid stared in complete and utter shock at the Blue Eyes White Dragon that had materialized with heart-stopping suddenness in the middle of the room, he slid one gloved thumb edgewise across the cards that he had packed into his gun earlier.

Yep, they _did_ feel different. Oh hell.

"You know," he remarked quite calmly as the dragon roared like a thousand freight-trains and Nakamori passed out cold on the spot, frothing, "I think maybe I loaded a wrong card or two…."

"I would say that that's a good possibility," whispered a voice from just behind the thief's shoulder; he _jerked_ in place—

_Howthehell? Somebody snuck up on me? Who--_

--as a hand came down on his shoulder, gripping cruelly tight. **_"Let's play a game,"_** said the voice softly even as the lights seemed to fail and darkness began to bleed through the air like ink across wet paper…..

_Oh shit, _yelped the small voice in the back of the Kid's head as everything went away; _Magic, and this time it's not Akako. I am so screwed… What is it they always say at times like this in the movies? -- oh yeah, it's 'fade to black'—_

_--fade to—_

_--fade—_

_--to--_

_

* * *

_

_…purple?_

_Purple smoke? He doesn't usually do purple-- _Inspector Nakamori Ginzo blinked, staggering upright (and he had _NOT_ passed out, dammit, no matter what anybody said) and fanning at his face as the drifts of darkness dissipated into nothing (_really_ nothing: no goddamned thief, no goddamned gem, no dragon (thankyouthankyou) and—)

"—who was that anyway?" the Inspector asked out loud, scanning the room warily; there had been somebody else, slipping up behind the white menace like a shadow just before the smoke had spread, and now… gone. _Hell. Must've been an accomplice, or a distractions or something, like that #$!ing big white lizard… Hologram? I know the technology's getting pretty good these days, but— New tactic for the Kid, but at least now it's gone…_

His eyes swiveled to the smashed display-case at the other end of the room. _#$ing $#!; so's the emerald. No Kid, no dragon, no target—huh?_ Something had just rolled underfoot, making little clinkety noises; numbly the Inspector bent down and picked up the flawless stone, green facets reflecting back verdant fire between his fingers.

"WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE **$&**! JUST HAPPENED HERE?"

* * *

_To be continued..._

_**Ysabet's Notes:** Alright, I admit it. I wrote this entire first bit in its original form (muuuuuch shorter) so I could do the sight-gag at the end. See, we were discussing YGO in a chatwindow and somebody (might've been me, dunno) mentioned how funny it would be if he somehow managed to do this and… uh…. Well. It was that mental image of Nakamori confronting the Blue Eyes White Dragon, and it was SUPPOSED TO END RIGHT THERE, and… I wish I could draw, because then this would be a lot shorter, but…. and I'm sticking with Icka M. Chif's concept of 'MK-as-intrinsically-gifted-wielder-of-real-magic-even-if-he-doesn't-know-it'; so there. -- I have no shame. None whatsoever. And this damned thing will be three chapters long and a stand-alone story instead of the original short-little-silly-blurb because my friend and fellow Bad Influence Dogmatix nudged me into it. Aaaaaaaargh… but then, she's been writing lovely Stargate/YGO crossover ficcage as well as stand-alone post-series YGO stuff, so this one belongs to her. Mati, I personally blame you. (primal scream) Oh well; I need something to keep my other story 'Windfall' from eating my brain. Meh._


	2. Playing the Hand You're Dealt

_**Shuffle: A Kaitou Kid/YuGiOh Crossover  
**__**By Ysabet**_

_**Chapter 2: Playing the Hand You're Dealt**_

Darkness. Darkness and darkness and ooooh look, more darkness. And it was funny, but darkness seemed almost to have a _color,_ like a sort of smoky coal-black inky inside-of-your-closed-eyelids-in-a-deserted-coalmine purple, if purple came in funereal shades deeper than the Marianas Trench or the inside of a tomb…

…and why the fricking hell was he lying flat on his back thinking words like 'funereal' and 'tomb' anyway? _Bad_ imagery. "Would somebody," he asked the darkness, "kindly tell me what the **$&**! just happened here?"

"_Delighted to,"_ whispered the darkness from somewhere behind him, amused.

"**NGGHH!" **

Instinct and self-preservation jerked the thief upright and to his feet without conscious command; he staggered on half-numbed legs-- wherever he was was _cold--_ automatically registering a quick scan of his surroundings as fast as his senses could take it in, his mind muttering _Chilly air tiles underfoot Black all over No sign of ceiling or walls No echoes Where the HELL am I? No Nakamori/Brute Squad No smell of Nakamori's pipe Okay need more info_ even as he swung around, searching for the source of the voice.

Nothing. Just blackness with a soft breath of laughter ghosting through it like smoke.

_Woooo…_ Okay, he was _NOT_ going to be intimidated; he had faced bullets, detectives, a shrunken Kudo and all sorts of warpedness in his time as the Kid—this was _NOT_ going to get to him. Somebody had snuck up on him (how?) during the heist and there had been that gigantic white _thing_ with the claws and the teeth and—

--there. Something there, right in front of him, black on black on black—just a vague outline, a tracery of ink, coaldust blur of shadow… RIGHT in front of him, in fact, just centimeters away—

And darkness opened red eyes straight from a horror movie. And _smiled_ at him; he could _see_ it.

"_**NNGGHH!" **_

"_You already said that." _Oh yeah; that was a smile. _"What's wrong, Thief? Afraid of the dark?"_

The mockery in the silky voice made his back stiffen, stifling fear before it could become panic. _Okay, maybe a little intimidated… No way. People do NOT YANK MY CHAIN (unless they're Kudo), I yank other people's chains._ He crossed his arms and gave his best icy stare, trying to ignore the part of his brain that wanted to go and hide. "Afraid of the dark? No," he said flatly; "I'd be a pretty stupid thief if I were, wouldn't I?"

Glowing crimson eyes narrowed, but the voice was a smooth as ever. _"A moot point; it's a fool that steals from my friends as it is... Shall we begin?"_

"…begin…?" _Where the HELL am I? What happened to the convention center? _The tiles underfoot were strangely gritty and uneven, and he feverishly tried to recall some part of the heist-site that would fit that feel; no dice, maybe they were outside? But why was it so dark? There weren't even stars—

"_Yes, 'begin' as in 'begin the Game.' You've made your first move already; bringing you here was mine."_ Was that wind? Something blew past, cold and bearing a scent of dead leaves and Autumn. They were outside; they had to be. The faintest hint of dampness swirled around the thief—fog?—and wrapped his cloak close; he slid his hands carefully into a hidden pocket, drawing out a metallic something no bigger than a thumbnail.

_So mister Freaky Red Eyes here likes the dark? Let's see how he reacts to my shedding a little light on the situation--_ Closing his own eyes, the thief's hand snapped downwards abruptly: _**WHUMPH!** _

And the brilliance lit up-- Oh, he had _not_ just seen that—

_--no walls, just cracked and broken tiles with sand spilling across marble, dunes rising into the distance like a bone-white sea but Oh Shit there were shadows moving on them and the red-eyed shadow in front of him was so close and its jagged black silhouette flash-lit against the sand was so much more frightening than the moving shadows could ever be—_

_Oh. My. God._

--and he staggered back. "Where… are we?" the Kid managed to ask in a reasonably sane voice, licking sudden sweat away from his lips. _And when did my sanity get derailed? I mean, more than usual? 'Cause I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto._ That had NOT been the convention center.

Was it his imagination, or was the soft voice even more amused than before? _"We're in my realm, Thief. And—"_

The Kid swallowed. "—don't tell me: I've pissed you off, and the only way I'm getting home is by winning some game, right?" The fiery eyes tilted slightly to the right as the thief nodded. "Hey, that's the sort of thing they do in the movies… Uh. And I pissed you off by--?" _Great; magic. I've dealt with magic before, with Akako and all… and magic is NOT good news for this little kaitou, no it is not. Shit, don't tell me, that was his emerald, right? Figures. First time I actually get my hands on a really magical gem and it's got some sort of Guard Dog From Hell watching over it… and I end up Somewhere Else…_

He could see—very, very faintly—the dimmest outline of movement now; maybe his eyes were getting used to the dark. The figure that was still far too close in front of him crossed its arms. _"You took what does not belong to you. And I have never, ever cared much for thieves."_

Okay, no amusement in _that_ sentence…

Red Eyes moved now, grit crunching beneath what sounded like boot-heels as he slowly walked around the thief, circling him; Kaito swallowed again and tried not to think of sharks. _"You will return what you stole. But first you will play a Game with me… Choose a number."_

"…number…?"

"_Unless you would prefer me to choose one for you,"_ purred Red Eyes, circling again, a little closer this time. The thief could almost feel the other's breath, but it was so cold—

"Nine," he blurted out; for the life of him, Kaito could not have said why he chose that number (but choosing _something_ was at least a measure of control, wasn't it? And he had the feeling that any control here was better than nothing, because Oh Man if he really _wasn't_ in Japan then he was waaaaay out of his depth and he'd better be dogpaddling as fast as he could--)

There was a pause as the other considered. _"Nine; three times three, a good number. Nine parts to the Game then, and no possibility of a tie. Well enough… and how well YOU do, Thief, will determine in what shape you leave my realm. Shall we begin?"_

_Eeep! Okay—time for a good Poker Face._ The Kid straightened up, one hand rising to tug his hat into place and then to straighten his monocle. If he was going to have to deal with whatever-the-hell-this-all-was, the more control he had, the better. "How about some rules here? You can't expect me to play without knowing the rules, can you?" _Keep the arrogance down, Thief Boy; level and straight, and maybe he'll let something slip that you can use--_ "No offense, but you've got all the advantages here—this is your place, you're picking the game, right? What guarantee do I have that you'll play fair?"

The scarlet eyes narrowed to slits; and Kaito had a second to think _Whoops I think I hit a nerve_ before the cold snarled itself in near-tangible chains around him, icy wind biting into his skin through the white suit and cape as sharply as if he had been naked in a blizzard. _"I. Do. Not. Cheat."_

"R-right. Understood." The Kid's teeth chattered. _BIG temperature drop-- Keep talking to Red Eyes but no insults, dammit! God, it's freezing— _"G-got it. And if you deal w-with _me_ fair, you'll g-get the s-same back—"

"_Thieves always try to cheat. They fail, but they try."_ Satisfaction hissed in the words.

The cold was getting steadily worse, rising as the wind worked itself up into a shriek. "S-s-so you're g-going to—to—" Kaito's breath was freezing on his lips; he could feel it—but after a second he caught it enough to continue. "—g-going to assume r-right away th-th-that I'm not playing s-straight--? What—k-kind of game is _th-that?_ If I l-lose, you'll say it was because y-y-you fought fair, b-but if I _w-win_ you, you'll—say it's be-because I _cheated—_"

_God, let this whatever-it-is listen to reason—So cold—_ The thief couldn't feel his feet anymore, but he could hear the rough marble beneath him crunch as his legs gave way and he sank to his knees. And the wind was whipping his cloak around him, half blinding in a chill sandstorm that bit to the bone; Kaito gritted his teeth and raised his head one last time, staring through the flying maelstrom directly into the red eyes opposite his. He forced out what would have been a laugh if it had been a little less frozen. _"W-well?_ A-are you g-g-going to p-play or n-n-not?"

_--and if he isn't listening I'm big time screwed and I won't even know what the hell it is that kills me, which totally sucks--_

Crimson eyes tilted again, regarded him coldly—moved forward, and the phantom thief had a bare second to think _I'm dead_ before something clamped down onto each shoulder, tight as a vice—

--and welcome warmth flooded through him, driving the black frost out in a rush of heat. He dropped like a stone the rest of the way to the sandy tiles beneath, limp and lost in the pure _intensity_ of it. _Warmwarmwarmwarmwarm, oooh… _"God," murmured Kaito into the suddenly still air. "What'd you—_do_ to me?"

Red Eyes crouched in front of him, still gripping his shoulders through the cloak. _"Returned what the Shadow Realm was taking from you."_ The black figure laughed, a little self-mockery creeping into his voice. _"I will not have it said that **I** am the thief here."_

"Whatever," murmured his opponent, blinking against the warmth; it felt so good… "You ready to start, then? And what are we playing?" He slowly pushed himself back away from the other, clambering warily to still-numb feet. "Can you at least tell me that?"

Red Eyes crossed his arms; and the kaitou could almost see a smirk. _"Something familiar to you. Something from your childhood. Something… simple."_ That WAS a smirk. _"You'll know where to go. I will see you on the field of play, Thief."_

"—Wait—"

Too late. _Hoo boy. _--and just like that the eyes were gone, boom, out like a light. _Two_ lights. "Fine, murmured the Kid to silence. "See you there…" He chafed warming arms, trying to rub away the memory of winter.

Off in the distance, a faint, cold light glimmered. _Bingo._

_Yeah, I'll see you on the playing field… and then we'll see who's the better player. I'm not my father's son for nothing._

But first, maybe he'd just sit right where he was and shake for a little while…..

* * *

_Interesting… This will be a good Game, I think. It's been a while since I had an opponent in something other than a Duel; odd that he doesn't seem more frightened by being here, though—he took to the Shadow Realm very quickly, almost too quickly._

/You know, he reminds me of a certain card…/

_Yes, that one. Myself as well; not a particularly powerful card, but very adaptable… The Shadow Realm is quick to change, though; it never stays the same for very long. I wonder: just how adaptable is he?_

_Let's find out._

/Don't hurt him too much, okay?./

_I won't, aibou. Not too much…

* * *

_

"There's no place like home… There's no place like home…" Kaito peered through the gloom rather morosely, trudging through weed-choked rubble towards the distant spark of light. "It worked for Dorothy," he muttered resentfully to a rustling in the bushes off to one side; the rustling declined to reply but subsided after a moment, which he supposed was _something._

Tall columns of trees had replaced the walls and corridors that should have been there; the trail that had opened to him from the darkness was only dimly visible, lit by patches of luminous moss spotting the trunks like leprous fur. It was weird (and more than a little disconcerting), the way the reality _he_ knew and this 'Shadow Realm' place seemed to be mixing; an unlit sign reading EXIT dangled from a branch, and one tree was bedecked with cracked lightbulbs like a crop of bulbous, glassy pears. An occasional switch-plate or electrical outlet protruded from gnarled treebark; the thief eyed a tangle of wires that had writhed their way between the broken tiles underfoot for all the world as if they were roots, and he wondered just what Reality had been drinking lately…

_Okay. Let's think about this, Thief Boy… Obviously this place is a little like where we were and a lot of not like it. The 'like' parts may give us sort of a map; depends on how much it corresponds to what I think of as the Real World, the one where--_ (he glanced up as something flapped past) _--uh, where little winged nekkid women that look like Gothic!Lolita Tinkerbell aren't flying around… Aaack. If you believe in fairies, run like hell… or do I mean pixies? _Another one of the little _things_ flitted by, pausing to circle his head once before darting off into the darkness. _How the hell do you tell pixies and fairies apart--_

_--and why am I worrying about something like that right now? Gaaaahhh…_

The light was right up ahead; it hadn't gotten any brighter, but now he could make it out, and it—seemed to be a torch? Yeah; just a chunk of wood with rags or something wound around one end, burning with a rather pale flame and stuck into some sort of metal bracket on a tree… There were chunks of stone scattered in the clearing that the torchlight showed so faintly, stone that might once have formed walls; everywhere lay evidence of broken buildings from a time long gone by. And marked on the ruined pavement underfoot was some sort of diagram; Kaito squinted through his monocle, trying to make it out—

"_Ah; here at last. Shall we begin?"_

"………………………………**"**

_Note To Self: Red Eyes is a bastard who likes sneaking up on people and making them twitch. Do NOT give him the satisfaction of seeing you react; you can always have a heart-attack later on, when you're back home. End Of Note._ Kaito turned around very, very slowly, keeping his best Poker Face firmly in place. The afore-mentioned bastard was sprawling, yes, _sprawling_ negligently across a block of stone, chin propped on elbow; and the thief could make out a few more details now. There were features there, at least where the torchlight gave them an edge and profile; and he could make out something that might be a slant of a smile. Maybe.

Red Eyes slid down from his perch, strolling forward to the diagram; across from him the torch flared up as if a knob had been turned to High, flooding the pavement with blue light. _"Your turn, Thief; make your move."_

The kaitou looked down, and his jaw dropped. _…..oh….. No way. That's just…._ Deeply carved into the pitted marble, two vertical lines intersected with two others that lay horizontal…

They didn't play _tic-tac-toe_ as much in Japan as they did in other countries, not as a regular thing; but—

The thief stared at the black figure across the pavement. "You," he said quite rationally, "have _GOT_ to be shitting me."

Red Eyes tilted his head slightly, aureole of shadows flaring around him in the torchlight. _"Ah… no, actually. Your move. Or don't you recall how to play, Thief?"_

Kaito scowled. "Yeah, I remember; it's a child's game… and there's a reason you stop playing once you get to be more than five years old: it's too easy. You _always_ end up tying with each other, what they call a 'cat' game. You can't win—"

Glowing crimson glinted in what was almost laughter. _"Can't you? Simple can be very difficult indeed, then, can't it? Winning for you is rather important right now, isn't it? We'll see. Your move, Thief. Play… or forfeit."_

Eeep. Kaito swallowed, looking around for something to make an X with. _--Ahah, got it--_ A scrap of white stone make a rasping sound as he drew his first mark in the center of the diagram; his childhood games had always started out that way. "There we g—_HEY!"_

The damned mark was _moving._

It drifted sideways, slipping over the grooved carvings as if floating on water; Kaito yelped and swatted at it, feeling _something_ move beneath his hand as he slapped it into place. "Stay THERE, dammit!" The mark reluctantly settled down… in the space to the left of the center. "Crap. What's the deal here?" He looked up indignantly and almost without any fear at his opponent. "Are you trying t—uhhh, let me rephrase that… Why'd it move?" _Note To Self #2: Do not make any accusations of cheating, no matter what!_

The other smirked; it was easy to tell, even without a mouth to see it on. _"Moves here require willpower. You can't just expect the Game to cooperate with you unless you're willing to cooperate with the Game. Expect… interruptions."_

"Oh. 'Interruptions.' Great." The kaitou glared at his X, daring it to shift. _You even BEGIN to budge and I'll, I'll—uhh. I'll think of something, dammit! Why does reality here have to be so freaking unreal?_ "Your move, then," he muttered. And watched very, very carefully as his opponent knelt, stretching out a jet-black hand.

_Rrrgh. That is SO unfair._ The thief rolled his eyes; it figured—Red Eyes didn't need anything to make _his_ mark with; blackness had just flowed off a fingertip, marking a clear 'O' onto the stone. "No interruptions for you, huh? Why isn't yours moving?"

Red Eyes smirked again (and yeah, it was getting easier to see.) _"Think about it, Thief. You seem relatively intelligent… Surely your mind is up to the problem."_

_'Think about it', huh?_ He glared resentfully at his opponent as the other stood up, a cold wind whipping fallen leaves about them. _What's that supposed to mean? I AM thinking about it. _Something flew past with what sounded suspiciously like a snicker—another fairy/pixie?— and was quickly followed by several more. The little winged whatevers perched in branches above their heads, chattering together in high voices reminiscent of birdsong.

"_Your move."_ Red Eyes watched him, scarlet on black. Kaito thought furiously.

_'Think about it'… Is that a hint? He said I had to 'cooperate with the game'. Like it's—playing as well? Like the game's got a mind of it's own? Logic-- Hell, regular logic went bye-bye a while ago; let's try something else. So the game's playing me too? What would a game do to screw up a player? Cheating seems to be a bad idea here, so… it'd try to derail strategy. Tic-tac-toe's not what I'd call brain-surgery in the strategy department, but it does use it so moving my mark would count. How do I make my mark stay where I want it? How DID I make it stay put? I… swatted it with my hand, I yelled at it and glared at it. I paid attention to it. Concentration? As easy as that?_

_…if it's easy, that is….._ He knelt again, picking up his stone. "O—kay. Let's try this again…" And he drew an X in the left-hand lowest square, concentrating on it **_being_** there, picturing the gameboard in his head with all the marks in place…

It took effort; and more than that, it took something else-- _? Ow_ --a kind of pull, a drag on his energy; the thief gritted his teeth as his heartbeat pounded in his ears. _Okay, so it's not that easy after all. Sucks to be me, apparently._

But the mark stayed where it was. And that was… encouraging.

Above his head, the things in the branches had a brief, excited discussion consisting of high warbles and chirps; there was a moment of silence—

"AAACK! What the— Get OFF me!"

"_That's… rather amusing. I believe they like you, Thief. I wonder why?"_

The kaitou shot his opponent a dirty look as no less than seven of the small, chattering creatures (wearing a really unbelievable array of miniscule clothing ranging from what looked like a tattered fishnet body-stocking to something Cruella DeVille might have worn with aplomb) made themselves at home on his hat, shoulders and coat-pockets. Sharp talons gripped through cloth; he yelped as the pair perching atop his hat shoved it halfway down over his eyes. "Shoo! Scat! Goddamn it, worse than pigeons! I am NOT a statue! OFF!" The creatures only clung tighter, and one of them blew him a raspberry as he swore.

And the other had just finished his move. _"Your turn…"_

"Rrrrargh! Fine!" Blindly Kaito reached out and drew an X; it almost immediately drifted sideways and up, landing in a completely different place than he had planned—and to add insult to injury, there went both of his _other _marks, flitting like blown leaves. "Crap!"

"_A shame. But concentration is part of any contest, no matter how simple… and rules are rules." _The other drew his third mark and glanced up as the three neatly lined-up O's blazed with light. _"I believe I have won our first Game."_

And he stepped back away as Kaito's 'passengers' shot straight up into the air, shrieking in alarm. Red Eyes was not smirking now.

_UH-oh—_

It came out of the game-board; later on, Kaito would remember that: a sharp, chilling wind, easily as cold as the one that had gripped him earlier. But this one didn't just wrap itself around him, no; it _invaded_ through his skin, dragging energy and equilibrium out like pliers pulling teeth, and he fell to the ground before he could even gasp.

_--I'm—doing this way too often—for my health—_

To one side he was aware of the red-eyed figure watching, his eyes neither malicious nor triumphant, just… distant; waiting for it to be over, as if they had been where he was once. It didn't take too long, mercifully; the cold whirled away as if it had never been there, leaving Kaito huddled in a white heap, ears ringing.

Quietly, matter-of-factly, his opponent spoke. _"This realm is unkind to those who do not prevail. The energy you lose when a Game ends goes to sustain the darkness around you; that's the cold that you felt, your life slipping through your fingers. For a novice, you learned quickly; but each time you lose a Game that will happen to you. And each time I lose, it will happen to me."_

"S-so—how do I keep that f-from happening again?"

"_Try not to lose."_

The thief swallowed hard.

Shadows swirled around Red Eyes, warping and fraying his silhouette until he was hardly there at all. _"I will see you at the next Game, Thief. You'll know how to find it, I think."_ As he faded out (rather like a nightmarish version of the Cheshire Cat), Red Eyes added _"Be careful. Other things live in this place besides the harmless sprites that found you so interesting."_

"Y-yeah? Why should y-you care?"

Crimson eyes blinked. _"Good opponents are difficult to find…"_ And he was gone.

"………………………."

Suddenly the night had become very, very quiet. And dark, outside of the circle of torchlight. Kaito shivered, backing up against the nearest tree and looking mistrustfully around at the forest.

_'See me at the next game', huh? 'You'll know how to find it', huh? And what if I don't want to?_

_Maybe… I should just stay right here. Just for a while. Just 'til I warm up, and get my strength back, and the sun comes up… if it ever comes up here at all. It's better than fighting my way through a pitch-black forest towards who-knows-what, and GOD but I don't want to go through that cold again, it was like, like having ice inside my bones-- It wasn't just cold like when I pissed off What's-His-Name earlier, not just wind—it was EATING me… Yeah. Yeah, I'll just sit right here for a while, it's not like I'm afraid of the dark or anything but I could build a fire with the torch… Red Eyes can wait a little longer for me this time, like 'til sun-up, 'cause I do NOT feel like stumbling around in the dark--_

And that was when the torch went out.

_Ooogh._

Off in the distance, a number of small blue lights flickered from between the trees; they moved oddly, darting about like oversized fireflies.

"So much for that idea," muttered the phantom thief as he climbed to his feet. Wrapping his cloak a little tighter around his shoulders (and trying to pretend that he wasn't still shaking), he began to make his way towards the blue lights.

* * *

/Brrrrrrrr… That was rough. I feel sort of sorry for him, at least a little…/ 

_He is a thief, aibou, and I—_

/--you really, really hate thieves, I know. But it's not like he's Bakura, at least not with THAT hair… I'll bet it eats combs./

_Pot and kettle, aibou…_

/Very funny. Hey—why do we look like this, anyway? I meant to ask earlier but I forgot. All black and everything--/

_You know that the Shadow Realm will drain even us; remember the first time you fought there, against Pegasus? I've used the strength of the Puzzle to wrap us in our own darkness as a precaution—we don't know how long we'll be here, after all, though time's different here as compared to elsewhere. The darkness won't save us if we lose a Game, but it'll help. Yet I keep wondering, aibou: why isn't the Thief feeling the drain worse than he is?_

/I don't know… He really IS weird. Who steals things dressed like that? I think I've heard about him in the news, but I didn't pay much attention. Sorry--/

_It doesn't matter. He's an interesting opponent._

/I still can't believe you picked Tic-Tac-Toe!./

_Why not? Just because it's a child's game does not mean that playing it will be child's play. You know that, aibou. I… think we had something similar in Egypt; I don't really remember. Besides, it's unlikely that the Thief knows how to play Senet._

/I guess. Eight more Games— He lost, but he wasn't too bad, was he?./

_No, he wasn't. He knows what it is to face an opponent. And he learns the rules very, very quickly._

/Be careful./

_I will.

* * *

_

Careful feint through the bushes, dodge silently left _here_, hide behind a handy tree-trunk and watch the pretty-but-freaky blue lights flit in the distance, slip through the underbrush and slink over that hillock _there… _Kaito was a city boy, but surveillance was surveillance, and he needed to see what was waiting for him.

And _that_ meant a little reconnaissance through the dark.

The shadowy woods opened out onto a field of tall grass, and that swept down a slant of hillside to…

_Oh. Hell. I can think of LOTS of things I'd rather see waiting for me than that. Lots and lots of things. Minefields full of trip-wires, synchronized marching bands of gun-toting bad-guys, Nakamori's entire Brute Squad in their boxers, lots of things._

Kaito did not like graveyards.

And this one was a real doozy. It stretched on and on and on and-- From his vantage point behind a clump of weeds, he could see that it contained the _weirdest_ jumble of markers: vaults and Western-style slabs, traditional Japanese shrines and wooden name-posts, carved marble cherubs and crosses and unmarked mounds of disturbingly freshly-turned earth…

No, he did not like graveyards. It just figured that there'd be one here, and _damn_ but it was big. There were buildings (at least he thought there were) somewhere beyond, but he couldn't make out the details from where he was. With a silent groan, the phantom thief rose to his feet. _Nothing for it; no cover between here and there, so I might as well get my ass in gear and head out. Oh well; at least it looks deserted._

As he headed carefully down the hill, though, Kaito couldn't help but feel that the goddamned song he currently had stuck in his head was only making things worse…

'_All dressed up with nowhere to go;  
__Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder—'_

Gritting his teeth, he cursed American music, creepy lyrics and morbid musicians in a vocabulary that would've impressed even Nakamori-kebu. _No more borrowing Aoko's '80's stuff! Not even the Weird Al CDs! Never again!_

'_Waiting for an invitation to arrive:  
__Goin' to a party where no one's still alive—'_

"Thank you and good NIGHT, Oingo Boingo," the thief muttered as he opened the cemetery gate (which he could have gone around, actually; oddly enough, there was no fence… just a gate). It squealed like a dying cat.

'_Got on my best suit and my tie,  
__Shiny silver dollar on either eye—  
__I hear the chauffeur comin' to my door:  
__Says there's room for maybe just one more…'_

"La la la la laaaah, not LISTENING, la la la la laaaaaaaah—"

'_It's a dead man's party;  
__Who could ask for more?  
__Everybody come  
__And leave your body at the door—  
__Leave your body and soul at the door—'_

"—lalalalalalaaaah, can't HEAR you, lalalah, ichi-ni-san-shi—dammit—"

'_Walkin' with a dead man, with a dead man--  
__Walkin' with a dead man, with a dead man--'_

"Aaaargh!"

* * *

/Um… why's he yelling at himself?./ 

_And why is he hitting himself on the head with his fist?_

/I've no idea…/

_Nor I…_

/I wonder if that's what I look like when I talk to you in public?./

_I doubt it, aibou; you rarely punch yourself in the side of the head._

/Hmmm… Wait, what do you mean 'rarely'? --never mind. I'm a little worried; do you feel that?./

_Yes; there are Things around us, waking up, noticing us… hungry Things…_

/…Things?.../

_Things. This is the Graveyard, after all. Only the dead—temporary and permanent—are rightfully here. We are intruding, and they will almost certainly pay attention._

/To him too, right? You'd better warn him. Thief or not, he doesn't deserve to be eaten—/

_I agree.

* * *

_

"'_Don't run away, it's only me---'"_

Kaito had finally resorted to the time-tested Make-The-Song-Go-Away method that involved singing the offending lyrics out loud. He'd never quite figured out why it worked, but it usually did. Maybe you had to pay tribute to the Annoying Song God or something.

"' _Don't be afraid of what you can't see…'"_

And if THAT didn't do it, he supposed he could always sing some nice, soothing j-pop in self defense. _Heh; a little Malice Mizer. That'd rattle the tombstones._

The thief thumped the side of his head one more time for good measure; right, Mission Accomplished. Now, where the hell was Red Eyes anyway? The blue lights that had drawn him danced here and there, darting back and forth among the markers; they didn't give a _lot_ of illumination, but he was grateful for what he had, though it'd be better if they'd just stay still for a minute so he could get a better look at them--

_"They're ghost-lights."_

"RRGH." Glaring up at where Red Eyes was perched on the arm of a particularly tall granite cross, Kaito gritted his teeth. "Did anybody ever tell you that it's _rude_ to sneak up on people like that?"

_"No."_

"Well, it is." The other merely smirked, boots (he thought they were boots, anyway) swinging as he settled his indistinct form a little more securely in place; he seemed to have a lap-full of something, and the thief craned his head to try and see what they were. Something sort of grayish white... "I take it we're playing Tic-Tac-Toe again? Don't you know ANY other games?"

_"You'd be amazed. And yes, we are. Do you wish to share game-pieces with me, or will you provide your own?"_ Red Eyes held up one of the things from his lap, and Kaito blinked.

"Uh, no thanks..."

_ERK. Vertebras. Vertebrae. Whatever you call your spine-bones. HUMAN ones—what'd he do, rob a grave? No, wait, considering how he feels about thieves… _As casually as possible, Kaito nodded at Red Eyes' 'game-pieces'. "You, uh, just happened to have a few extras or what?"

Red Eyes smirked again. _"Actually no," _he said, spinning one on a pitch-black finger. _"I believe they belong to the last intruder to enter the Graveyard. And… speaking of which…"_ He tilted his head for a second and paused, almost as if listening to an unheard voice. _"Speaking of which, I should warn you: we are not alone."_

A quick hop had the phantom thief perched atop the nearest overgrown headstone; it gave him a better view and placed him at eye-level to his opponent. "Not alone? What, we have an audience? I like audiences…"

"_You wouldn't like this one. The Graveyard tends to attract quite a number of wandering creatures—the dead do not necessarily rest in peace in this place, but they are often quite willing to see to it that others join them." _Shadowy fingers interlaced, and the other cracked his knuckles with a _popPOPpop!_ before nodding at something on the ground below his resting place. _"Shall we begin, Thief?"_

The kaitou looked down at the Tic-Tac-Toe board that had been scraped into the dirt of the grave. _Oh, wonderful._ "…..yeah. You first this time….." _THUD! _went a vertebra into the center of the diagram, and the thief grinned a little despite his unease. _He starts games the same way I always did—_ Kaito considered, then drew his cardgun and shot: _THWUNK!_

_Hah. That ought to stay put._ And the sharp-edged Ace of Spades (surprise, surprise) did indeed seem willing to remain where it was, half-sunk into the ground in the center-bottom space. From above, several of the—what had they been called? 'ghost-lights?'—swooped low as if to kibbitz over the game. "Next—"

_THUD._ The vertebra made a dull sound as it landed neatly in the rightmost-center square. Red Eyes glanced up sharply as something skittered through the monuments off in the distance with a screeching cry. _"Your turn again, Thief."_

_THWICK!_ Kaito frowned; his Jack of Hearts had made an odd sort of noise as it landed in the left-center position. _? Must've hit a rock or something._ His head shot up as something growled, breathy and deep and all too close by; "What was that?"

His opponent stared off across the expanse of graves, glowing eyes narrowed against his featureless face. _"Plot Thirteen. If we are lucky, its inhabitant will merely try to warn us off and not attack. If it does attack, I would advise you to either run or take cover. I doubt you have any idea of how to battle the Graveyard's undead." _

Dark hands tossed human bone as if playing horse-shoes; it landed in the righthand-bottom corner, and Kaito shrugged to himself; he had seen that one coming. He spun his card-gun on one finger before readying to fire at the leftmost-top corner. "I don't run from fights; I change the rules. Got any handy tips for kicking undead ass?"

_Dammit, he's going to win this one too, I can't block him; if I had taken that bottom-right instead of the left-center, he would've gone left next and he'd still—ah, shit… Freezing Cold Soul-Devouring Doom, here I come._ Another hoarse growl, closer this time; Red Eyes was staring past Kaito's shoulder, very alert.

"_Do you know any spells, Thief?"_

"Sorry, no, how 'bout prayers, will they work? My stuff's more the Pull-The-Rabbit-From-The-Hat kind—" And now he could hear a heavy crashing from among the overgrown plots, the sound of something running; a drop of sweat ran down the side of his face as Kaito gripped his card-gun tighter.

"_No magic? Are you certain? Then how did you manage to summon the Blue Eyes Wh—"_ Red Eyes froze mid-sentence, tensing. _"—never mind. If you know of any good deities to call upon, Thief, now would be the time. Ready yourself; we— BEHIND YOU!"_

The ragged howl that erupted from the tombs beyond Kaito's perch drowned out the rest of the sentence, even as the grave between them abruptly shuddered and erupted in a shower of earth. The phantom thief yelped and scrambled to his feet atop his stone—too late; and now decayed, clawlike hands were clutching at him from behind as he struggled, dragging him off and down and filling his lungs with the stench of rotting flesh…

_

* * *

_

To Be Continued…

_**Ysabet's Notes:** First off, I'd like to explain REALLY FAST that if y'all kill me because of the cliffhanger ending I won't be able to write the next bit. Okay? Fair? Whew. So please put down the chainsaws._

_First off, when I said that this would be three chapters long, I lied. It mutated with me thinking about tic-tac-toe and from the comments of my friends (thank you Icka, Dogmatix, Morgan, Wren, Becky, Po'e and the rest), and now I think it'll be 5 or 6 chapters, dammit. It has a mind of its own, and now I am researching cards like a madly researching thing. There's so MANY of them! Jeeeeeze… and gods but they're bizarre sometimes. I mean, 'Beaver Warrior'? 'The Cheerful Coffin'? 'Mystic Tomato'?_

_Yes, tic-tac-toe. Do y'all have ANY IDEA AT ALL how hard it is to make tic-tac-toe games variable, interesting and warped? Just wait; you will soon. I am having so much fun with this (and yes, I'm still working on Windfall; I promise!)… Oh yeah, need to let y'all know: I'm sort of making up what's in the Shadow Realm based on my as-yet-limited knowledge of the series (I'm working my way through it), what I've read in the manga, and my own imagination. I understand there's some story-arc in the anime which involves castles, etc., or something like that; am ignoring it due to not enough knowledge. Much of what KK's seeing is based on reflections of the 'Real' world, already-established sections of the Shadow Realm (like the Graveyard) that are accessible to all players who are capable of reaching it in their games, and chunks of his own subconscious which are affecting the malleable reality of the place. Ahem. Why is his mind able to affect it? Well, there's actually a reason for that, but I'm not gonna tell y'all what it is just yet…_

_Next chapter: Ghoulies and Ghosties and Things that go bump in the night; unexpected allies; and Nakamori and Kaiba sit down together for a nice, cozy cup of tea and some cheesecake. Okay, I lied about that last bit too…_

_Maybe._

_Hee hee hee._


	3. Who Dealt This Mess, Anyway?

**_Shuffle: A Kaitou Kid/YuGiOh Crossover  
_**_**By Ysabet**_

_Disclaimer: Not mine, no sue, am broke. Hah. (Ysabet does profound kowtows in the direction of Gosho Aoyama and Kazuki Takahashi)_

_**Chapter 3: Who Dealt this Mess, Anyway?**_

Nakamori Ginzo, head of the Kaitou Kid Task Force and long-time veteran of many a skirmish, shoot-out or downright brawl, stared down his current opposition with as steely a gaze as he could muster (which was pretty damned steely, as his men could tell you). Moustache bristling, he crossed his arms and glared. Police Inspectors Did Not Back Down.

Neither did Kaibas, apparently.

The young man with the weird taste in trenchcoats (white, lots of straps; hello? All it needed was long sleeves and buckles up the back) glared back, cold-eyed and still as any reptile. One with _sharp teeth_, too, considering the looks that the corporate flunkies hovering worriedly around were giving him. Nakamori shrugged; no punk-ass kid younger than his daughter was going to make him flinch, even if his business made more in a week than the Inspector pulled down in a year…

…or even if he was the owner of the target of tonight's heist. That emerald? It had turned out that the damned thing (publicly known as the _'Flame of Africa')_ happened to belong to the estate of one Kaiba Seto, i.e., the whacko in the straps.

And he wanted it back.

Apparently, though, there was something else that he wanted _more…_

The whacko in the str—that is, _Kaiba-san_ held out an implacable hand, palm up. "My card. Now."

Nakamori bristled again. _"Evidence,_ Kaiba-san. It stays with me, it goes down to the station, and you get it back after and ONLY after we finish this case's paperwork." They had already been over this, dammit. "And that'll take… two, three weeks at most." A lesser man would've grinned nastily at this point. "It's just a piece of cardboard; it won't kill you not to have it for a few weeks, will it?" He wasn't grinning; maybe smirking just a bit, fine, but not grinning. Not as such.

'Kaiba-san' wasn't either. And neither were his flunkies; funny thing, though, they were backing off slowly—

Okay, Nakamori knew how to play this game. _Biggest case of attitude wins. 'Kaiba-san' or whatever your name is, you're at least twenty years too young to pull one over on me— _Now he did smirk; it was not the time for good manners, not if they looked like a little dog rolling over and showing its throat to a bigger one… One hand opened, displaying the card that the teenager seemed to want back so badly (why? It wasn't like it was a jewel or anything) for a bare second before slipping it into a clear plastic evidence baggie and then into a pocket; and he met the other's eyes levelly. "If you'd like to take a little trip down to the Station we can discuss it," he suggested, knowing very well that anybody with _that_ high of an Asshole Level had to be packing _something_; a knife, maybe a small-caliber gun of some sort.

_And we'll see how much you like setting off the metal-detector in Admin Security and then getting yourself a full body-search, you little—_

"No."

Well, at least the boy didn't mince words… and apparently he _did_ know when to back down. All it took was that little phrase 'down to the Station' to rattle the most arrogant of young jerks, and they eased off. "Fine," the Inspector smiled. "Make sure you fill out the forms—Fujikawa over there'll have 'em—and you'll see your stuff back in a few weeks. Maybe a month at the most." He turned to go, glancing at his second-in-command. "Kojiro-san, you—"

"Perhaps you misunderstood me, Inspector," said the cool voice from behind him, this time with a little more of an edge showing; Nakamori paused, instinct and trained reflexes trailing cold fingers down his spine. "I did not mean 'no, I am too intimidated to 'take a trip down to the Station'', as you put it; I meant 'no, that's unacceptable.' My property. _Now."_

Nakamori held his ground, refusing to turn. "Really, Kaiba-san? And what'll you do if I refuse to return it until I'm damn good and ready?"

There was a tug at his elbow; the Inspector started slightly and looked down into a rather wide pair of blue-grey eyes beneath a black mop of hair. "You _really _don't want to say things like that to Nii-sama, Nakamori-keibu," murmured the boy, shaking his head. "You _really_ don't…"

"Hrmph." _'Nii-sama?'_

The black-haired boy shrugged, backing away like Kaiba-san's flunkies had. "Don't say I didn't warn you, okay? And I hope you get out of the hospital really soon. Jaa—" He ducked around behind several of the wary flunkies, settling himself next to the _Flame of Africa's_ former display case with all the air of someone who wanted a good seat for Round One.

_--'hospital'? The hell with THAT._ Now the Inspector did turn around, slowly and carefully just in case. The young man with the weird trenchcoat (and shit, but Nakamori was going to start banning white jackets of ANY kind in his precinct—they were all bad news) still stood there, arms crossed, no weapons visible, eyes psychopath-cold…

_Oh #$&. _Those were not the kind of eyes you wanted to see on the other end of a loaded gun, knife, or whatever. Maybe it _was_ time for just a little tact—

He took a deep steadying breath. "Kaiba-san? Let's get something straight. _I_ am the one in charge here; _you_ are a Kaitou Kid heist crime-victim. Don't you think it's time to start being reasonable and forget about some stupid little scrap of cardboard that you'll get back eventually and concentrate on the fact that the Kid attempted to steal property that's one hell of a lot more valuable? This building suffered some damage during the heist; your emerald was—"

"I am not interested in the _Flame of Africa,_ other than retrieving what's mine." Bracer-clad arms loosened, and one hand dropped to a trenchcoat pocket; Nakamori and his men stiffened. "My card is top-priority, and—I believe you asked what I would do if you refused to return it--?"

"Yeah?" The Inspector eyed the tall young man warily. _Now he'll pull something lethal out and he'll find out what it's like to have an entire squad of heavily-armed cops land on his head—"_

Kaiba-san _smiled._ The entire squadron tensed, his flunkies looked at each other in dread, and his little brother rolled his eyes, muttering "Told you so,"… as one hand drew out a small push-button unit, not unlike a DVD or television remote. He tapped a sequence of keys…

…and several _clicks_ and heavy _clacks! _came from the room's closed and extremely heavy door. Nakamori blinked. _Uh oh._

Kaiba-san slowly squeezed his fist shut; there was a brief _CRUNCH!_ as the control unit assumed a state of nature, i.e., broken bits and useless scraps of circuitry. Pieces rattled onto the floor as the owner of Kaiba Corporation crossed his arms again and leaned against a handy column, apparently settling in.

"Inspector? There are two things that you need to know. First… I'm not concerned particularly about damage to this building; I own it, and that's what insurance companies are for. Second… It seems that the electronic door-lock mechanisms have just jammed; doubtless Central Maintenance will notice eventually, but until then you, your men, myself, my brother and my employees will be… delayed here. For some hours, I imagine." Those cold eyes narrowed. _"No-one_ will be 'taking a trip down to the Station' any time soon; so—" He yawned, slow and deliberate—"so I would make myself comfortable if I were you."

And the absolute bastard had the chutzpah to _smirk back at him._

"Now… shall we discuss the return of my property again, Inspector?"

* * *

"_BEHIND YOU!"_

The shout cracked like a whip as strong, earth-slimy hands yanked hard on Kaito's clothing and body, dragging him from his marble perch down into the cold grass. He yelled—what, he never knew—as he struck out blindly against his attackers, who snarled at the blows. A reeking, clawed thing that might have been a hand scrabbled at his face; there were definitely more than one of them, and, half-blinded and on his back in the dark, the thief kicked like a belly-up tomcat as a clatter and a warbling shriek erupted from Red Eyes' direction.

_SHIT!_

He hated hand-to-hand (or hand-to-whatever) combat— Kaito wasn't exactly a heavyweight, though bouncing around rooftops built pretty good muscles— and whatever the hell had hold of him was _growling_ and _clawing,_ and God he was outnumbered and going down—

Foul, filthy, the stench right in his face; a desperate hand scrabbled in the dirt, snatching up something hard and swinging it—

_Thunk! _The impact wasn't all that much, but it was enough to make the Whatever-the-Hell pause long enough for another kick to throw it to one side. The thief scrambled to his feet, evading reaching hands from behind—

_OHshitNOfreakingWAY_

The little blue ghost-lights were diving agitatedly back and forth above; illumination enough to show withered, rotting flesh, bones grey where skin-tatters had peeled back like bark from dead trees; the shambling thing grunted deep in its throat and advanced, even as its companion (who looked even worse; less corpselike but still decayed, with hollow-socketed burning eyes and a third slitted orb on its forehead) slashed out with horribly long claws.

He dodged, just barely **_--help--_**

Behind him there was a sudden inrush of air and a sharp CRACK! Something hissed. _"Fight back, fool of a Thief!"_ That was Red Eyes, sounding breathless and angry. _"Do you want the Abyss King to tear your throat out?"_

The Kid dodged another swipe of claws, taking refuge behind his former perch. "I don't DO zombies on a regular basis, dammit! What—" He flinched back from an angry snarl, just barely aware that he was still holding whatever he had snatched up from the ground. Some kind of long stick— "What hurts them? Oh HELL!" Numb fingers almost dropped his makeshift weapon when he realized that it was a human thighbone. That clatter of things falling from Red Eyes' lap—

Kaito dodged again, instinctively swinging as Zombie Number One slashed at him with jagged fingers. _"Light and fire!"_ came the answer; he dared a quick look over his shoulder and immediately wished that he hadn't; _what_ in the—? Something large and—crapcrapcrap, another zombie, half out of the earth and with a firm grip on black ankles—

_Never mind! Light--_ One hand dipped into a pocket, snatching out a shape he knew very well, arming it and flipping it all in one quick motion. "CLOSE YOUR EYES!" he yelled, ducking.

_**FLASHSHRIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!**_

The combined sonic-light grenade was what he usually used to rattle cops' brains; apparently it worked pretty well for zombies, too, considering the way the monsters were flinching and backing away; the thief took the moment of respite to snatch up his fallen cardgun from the ground, take aim, and shoot at Zombie Number Two:

_Thuuuuck._

_Ooogh…_

Cards didn't _usually_ rip right through people's ribcages with nasty squelching sounds. But then, people didn't usually ooze putrescent, rotten fluids when shot… "Undead, right, right," he muttered; from behind him there was a mutter from Red Eyes, a rustle of—paper?—and a _very_ odd crackle of noise as he called out something Kaito couldn't quite catch.

"Aaack! Holy shit!" Waves of _fog_ were suddenly rolling from behind, and the thief heard a breathy, wicked laugh; he spun around, dropping the thighbone and pulling more grenades from his pockets— but Red Eyes was just _standing_ there, half-hidden behind the billowing, vaporous grinning thing that crouched before him, two misty swords held in defense… _Uh—fog, big toothy grin, short, wearing a crown? yeah, crown— There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's EEEYAAAGH!_ A clawed hand had found his ankle from behind; in desperation he shot again as he stumbled—

_**--crackleCRACKLECRACKLE—**_

_Huh? No 'Thwack'? Where's the 'Thwack'? And Oh My God where did SHE come from?_

They had company…

A golden staff swung, swatting Zombie Number One in the jaw (which splintered and hung awkwardly at an angle; it howled), and the pale, alarmingly pointy-eared, magenta-haired woman that had appeared out of a shimmer of thin air dodged a blow. Face solemn and determined, she took a defensive stance between the boggling kaitou and the attacking undead, purple robes swirling in the fog.

Unnerved, Kaito gave the woman a Look. "Uhh— It's not that I don't mind the help, ojou-san, but--" She glanced over her shoulder at him briefly but said nothing. "Hello? Ojou-san? Do you understand me?"

There was an evil laugh behind him as the fog abruptly thickened; something—the corpse from the grave? he damned well hoped so—let out a despairing wail that cut off in the middle. _"What have you summoned?"_ murmured Red Eyes, emerging abruptly from the mist right behind Kaito's shoulder and making him jump uncontrollably. _"Ahh. And you say you have no magic-- but she will not be strong enough; shoot again, Thief, quickly!"_

Kaito swallowed, eyed the two animated cadavers shambling towards the small woman with the staff; she looked at him over her shoulder again, and her eyes widened as he fired past her—

_No--_

_She had thrown her staff out to intercept the shot._

Oh HELL! Why—? Behind him, Red Eyes gave a snort of approval. _"Well played, Thief. That should help."_

A shimmer of light, green and purple (and oddly enough, black—could you have black light?) washed across her robed body from where the card had exploded; "Okay, backing away slowly now…" The thief stared HARD as magenta darkened into a deeper purple and pale skin turned olive, then dusky, and then unmistakably a verdant green; on the woman's forehead, a slit appeared, slowly opening into an amber, glittering eye…

_--I am not seeing this, I am NOT seeing this—_

…above a face that he knew only too well.

And Kaito heard his own voice say faintly, "…_Akako-kun?_ What are you _doing_ here…?"

Koizumi Akako (or something that looked remarkably like her, if you discounted the green skin, third eye, and long talons) gave him a sultry smile and slid her grip along the golden staff that she still held, turning back to face the corpses that were now growling loudly at the threat; the thief noticed that they seemed to find her rather more intimidating than, than-- but at this point Kaito's overloaded brain went 'Sorry, you have lost the connection, please try again later' and he grabbed hold of the marble headstone for support.

And it _wasn't helping_ that the Akako-lookalike wasn't wearing much at ALL, either. Just some jewelry and strategic shreds of purple cloth across her abundant curves of smooth green-- The thief swallowed, dropped that thought right where it was, and kept his gaze at eye-level to ensure a bare modicum of sanity.

Behind him there was chuckle from Red Eyes, who seemed remarkably unworried by zombies; it wasn't fair.

Akako-Almost aimed her staff; there was a sizzle and a harsh howl as Zombie Number One staggered back, burning with emerald fire; it fell over a grave into a smoking heap as its companion surged forward with a shriek of hatred. A small, calm part of Kaito's mind that wasn't having gibbering fits over zombies and transformations and nekkid Akakos commented quite calmly that, considering the forehead-eyeballs, the two were probably related to each other… _Family feud, maybe?_

Thin, strong fingers gripped his shoulder; he didn't have to look to know that they were indistinct and jet-black. _"Well done, Thief, but her defense is weaker than her attack—"_

"Hey, if you think I'm in charge of this you are WAY wrong!"

The other continued as if he had not spoken. _"—and if we are attacked by anything else, she—"_ There was a dopplering screech from overhead, dropping down and getting closer; something large, something airborne, something decidedly NOT a pixie. A draft from wingbeats swept Kaito's hat off before he could grab it, sending it spinning off among the tombstones.

Red Eyes sighed. _"I hate it when this happens."_ He stepped away, and as Almost-Akako aimed her staff again with a snarl of sharp teeth, the thief saw dark fingers draw a—card?—from out of nowhere.

There was another loud crackle, an eddy in the fog… and the sudden thud of heavy feet… and a glow that bit through the fog. _"Welcome, Warrior," _murmured Red Eyes from behind Kaito's shoulder.

He never really saw the thing—or things, there were more wingbeats now, and something screamed high and shrill as it dove past-- that attacked from the sky; all his attention was fixed on the absolutely huge, sword-wielding and above all _headless_ figure in armor that came striding from between the monuments. _Even without his head he's got to top me by at least a couple of feet,_ said the afore-mentioned calm part of the thief's mind, also noting that the broadsword was nearly as long as he personally was tall.

"_Welcome,"_ said Red Eyes again; glowing eerily, the armored knight bowed (and Oh Jeeze, was that a stump of a neck? Kaito decided he didn't want to know). _"I think," _said the thief's opponent as he drew another card from nothingness, _"that you may require reinforcements."_

The card shimmered…

* * *

When he tried to recall the rest of the fight in the graveyard later on, that had been the moment when Kaito's sense of reason had well and truly rebelled. The single remaining zombie had been shambling forward, the attackers from the sky (three of them, four of them, large and using some kind of—whips? They had _looked_ like whips—as weapons) had been taking down headstones in all directions with heavy, stone-cracking blows, and the something-or-other in the fog, the headless knight and Almost-Akako hadn't stood a chance.

But _THEN_ there had been the sound of hoofbeats, and the distant yells and clank of sword on shield; all the clamor of an advancing army, crashing through the tombstones and rattling the clods of grave-earth, though nothing, _nothing_ had been visible…

…of course, right about then Zombie Number Two had chosen that moment to leap for Kaito's throat. And he had been much too busy fighting for his life to pay attention to anything else, especially if it wasn't really there in the first place.

Screams and shouts, yells of encouragement and fury and Red Eyes' sharp commands to his creatures as the something-or-others dove from the air; fetid breath in his face, yellowed teeth snapping at his throat as he fought to shove them back; green hands on a golden staff striking down over and over and _over_ in blazes of energy and the smell of burning flesh—

--and Red Eyes, yelling furiously _"Fire again, Thief! Fire! Now! **FIRE!"**_

**_--crackle-Crackle-CRACKLE-VWROOOOOM-----_**

And everything, rather spectacularly, went away.

* * *

Blessed silence. Or almost silence; crickets chirped in the grass, and something hooted very much like an owl off in the distance. Otherwise there was only quiet and the chilly peace of a cold breeze sweeping between the tombstones.

No monsters.

_Ooogh. Did... I do that?_

The card had gone— somewhere; Kaito didn't know or care where. And now he lay limp and exhausted on the cold ground, wondering if his hearing had just given up or if it really was that silent. Or maybe he was dead; yeah, that was probably it, he was in a graveyard and Reality had just gone to Hell in a handbasket anyway, so why not? If it meant that he could just keep lying here for a few minutes without zombies trying to tear his throat out, fine with him. Nakamori and Hakuba were going to be _so_ pissed, though, and—

"_That… was well done… Thief…"_

The harsh, tired voice made him lever himself up to one elbow; _…Ow. Ow, ow, ow. Guess I'm not dead._ Red Eyes was only a few feet away, slumped in a blur of shadows against the marble cross; slits of ruby light blinked at him above what might have been a grim smile if it had been more visible.

Kaito cleared his throat. "Y—urgh; you okay?" He thought that was a nod; hard to tell, since the little blue ghost-lights had all scattered or been swallowed up by… "What," he asked carefully, "just happened?"

"_You saw."_ His opponent closed his eyes, seeming to deflate a little in weariness. _"You summoned it, after all."_

Dirt, dead leaves and other debris he didn't want to think about clung everywhere; an inventory of bruises and scrapes produced zero for broken bones, decapitation and dismemberment but at least a dozen for minor damage and ripped clothing. "Summoned? You keep saying 'summoned', and I haven't got the faintest clue what you're talking about…" Kaito frowned; something was missing. "Where's my hat?" His eyes opened wide. "Where's my _monocle?"_

"_This?"_ Red Eyes picked up something from the broken mound of earth between them, turning it over curiously between shadowy finger before holding it up and peering through it.

Now _there_ was a sight… The thief swallowed. Funny, though; the glittering eye peering through his monocle flashed violet, not red—

With as much dignity as was possible in the situation he snatched it back and replaced it on his smudged and dirty face. It wasn't like hiding his identity was much of a consideration at the moment; getting out _alive,_ now, _that_ was a priority. And speaking of which-- "Okay, back to the 'summoning' bit. What exactly just happened? In small words, please?"

Red Eyes shrugged (probably) and slowly climbed to his feet. _"You've been calling on the magic of this place, whether or not you realized it. What did you see after you shot that device of yours this last time?"_

The kaitou pulled himself up, brushing off leaf-litter and looking around for his hat, picking up the three cards that he had fired out of sheer habit; he tucked them into his pocket "Uh, I… There was this sort of… big black _hole_ in the sky? Swirling, and everything got sucked up into it—well, all the monsters anyway—oh damn, it didn't eat my hat, did it?"

"_Over there, behind that mausoleum, I think. And yes, that's what you summoned: the Black Hole. One of the defensive magics of the Shadow Realm; it swallows up all attackers and defenders upon a battlefield. I could feel it in potentia, somewhere on you..."_ Red Eyes paused for a moment, obviously thinking hard; he was—well, it was kind of underkill to say that a blurry black shadowy form with glowing red eyeballs was 'looking at him funny', but he was. _"You have absolutely no idea whatsoever what you've been doing, do you?"_

"Nope; nada, zip, nyet, none." Hat and monocle firmly in place, Kaito reflexibly checked his cardgun; good, still mostly full. "Why don't you tell me? Since you seem to be picking where we're having our games at." He eyed the other a little uncertainly. "Speaking of which, whose turn was it?"

In answer, Red Eyes pointed at the ground between them. _"It was mine. When the Crows attacked from the air, I dropped my playing pieces… and the Game was decided by chance."_ A shadowy head tilted, considering. _"Not that it would have turned out any different otherwise…"_

"Oh?" Kaito stared down at the grave-mound with a sinking feeling. "Oh."

"_Yes."_

_Dammit, why couldn't that zombie have come up out of the ground just a LITTLE more to the left? CrapCrapCrap. I'm about to get my soul simultaneously deep-fried and freezer-burned all because one stupid little vertebra landed in the right place— _And it was starting; he could feel the wind rising up around him, curling in through cloth and skin in tendrils of icy pain…

_Oh **hell.**_ The kaitou wrapped his cloak tightly around him as if it could help at all; it couldn't, and he knew it. _Here we go again—_

Red Eyes was staring at him as the cold built up inside and out, and his eyes were… doing that violet-flashy-thing again, sort of shading from one to the other. He sighed once, sounding resigned. _"…Very well… just this once, I suppose,"_ he muttered as if to himself and stepped quickly around behind Kaito, not quite close enough to touch. _"Stand STILL, Thief; don't move."_

The cold closed in, burning-- Kaito's eyes squinted shut futilely—

_and he was somewhere else, flagged stone flooring underfoot, mortared stone walls around him; a door opened off to either side, one into blackness and the other into blinding light, and he was facing the light but there was somebody between it and him, a silhouette with their arms outstretched; and there was somebody behind him as well between his body and the darkness, bright-edged but burning black as night_

_and the cold was rushing past, baffled from before and behind, teeth blunted against shadows and light_

--and Kaito opened his eyes again.

_I'm… warm. I'm not freezing; I'm warm. I'm WARM. Why the hell am I warm?_ Without even being aware of his own intention to do so, he turned around.

Red Eyes stood a little ways away now, turned to one side; if his profile was to be believed, his lips were moving soundlessly. Over their heads, several of the little ghost-lights dove and danced as if they were happy to be able to return. And for one single second, Kaito could make out the outlines of a face: angular eyes, high cheekbones, the curve of a smile for just a bare breath—and then his opponent looked back at him and was opaque again, crimson on black. "What did you just do?"

"_Paid my debt."_

"Debt?"

"_For your aid, your summoning. There were more Crows coming… never mind. The debt has been paid. Shall we go?"_

Kaito blinked. He was getting tired of repeating the last few words of every sentence here… "Go—on to the next game?"

"_Yes. And… a word of advice, Thief? The next time you choose to use that device of yours, I would examine its projectiles first. You may not always receive such favorable results in your summoning." _And with that, the other turned and simply walked away towards the buildings that ringed the graveyard, brushing off dirt with shadowy hands as he went.

_'Summoning?' I still don't get it…_ A thought struck the kaitou, and he pulled the three spent cards back out of his pocket, holding them up to the fitful blue illumination of the ghost-lights. "Whoa… 'Magician of Faith', 'Malevolent Nuzzler', and—'Black Hole'?"

_I… see. No, I don't see. But I think I need a course in Duel Monsters. Man, that'll teach me to steal things that aren't gems. So I 'summoned' that woman? Why the hell did she look like Akako on a really, really bad day?_ The 'Nuzzler' had blown him a kiss as the gaping darkness above had whirled her away, he remembered; and the knight had bowed to Red Eyes before being taken.

He studied the card again, wondering. 'Malevolent Nuzzler' didn't look _exactly_ like Koizumi Akako (especially with that third eyeball) but—

Red Eyes' voice came faintly from the distance; he was already halfway to the buildings. _"Are you coming, Thief, or would you prefer to wait in the Graveyard for more of its creatures to arrive? Dead men are not the worst things to be found there; I doubt you'd enjoy meeting the Reaper of Cards."_

"……………..."

Kaito took one last leery look around the endless expanse of tombs, mounds and markers, and chose to hightail it. "Right behind you."

* * *

…_and meanwhile, back in the Real World….._

Kaiba Mokuba was getting bored.

Nakamori-keibu had cursed at, shouted at, and threatened his brother with bodily harm about the jammed door. But security systems on Kaiba Corporation-owned buildings were usually pretty good, so until someone managed to reprogram things or break the door down with construction machinery, no-one was going anywhere anytime soon.

After all, Nii-sama and he had worked on the security prototype themselves… Places like convention centers were great for testing things out; somebody _always_ tried to bypass the codes sooner or later.

It was too quiet. Nakamori-keibu was glaring at Nii-sama with his arms crossed; Nii-sama was leaning against a wall, returning the glare with a sardonic look. Nobody was saying much of anything at the moment.

The air-ducts were too high up the wall to allow a crawl-through; likewise the ceiling was unreachable. There were no windows, no other doors, and the floor was solid concrete beneath the carpeting. Various schemes had been proposed to bludgeon a way through the walls, but nothing had worked so far…

…and Mokuba was getting _really _bored. Nakamori-keibu wasn't nearly as good as Nii-sama at profanity, even though he was better at it than most people. So far he had only stuck to Japanese; didn't he know any other languages? He yawned, leaning against the pedestal that had recently housed the _Flame of Africa_ and frowned as his stomach growled. They had missed dinner.

One of the policemen in the heavy combat gear shot him a sympathetic look. They didn't seem so bad; most of them had settled down to watch his brother and their boss snipe at each other (though Nakamori-keibu did most of the sniping), and he had seen at least three of them take notes during some of the more interesting exchanges of verbal blows. The one giving him the look reached around and pulled something surreptitiously from his backpack, passing it Mokuba's way: a package of crackers; he accepted with a nod of thanks, wondering if he should share with his brother—

Mokuba needn't have bothered. Cold blue eyes were watching, warming just a little when they rested on his face. "Yamazaru-san? I believe you were assigned to handle refreshments…?" Nakamori grunted an inquiry and Nii-sama shrugged. "I seldom have time to stop for lunch or dinner while at one of our working sites; it's simpler to have something brought along." Yamazaru-san obediently dug into the largish briefcase that he had hauled along, pulling out a thermos, cups, and several interesting-looking containers…

The boy grinned to himself at the sight of one in particular. _Oh good, he remembered._

From across the room came an audible growl—not, this time, of irritation; Nii-sama raised an eyebrow at Nakamori-keibu, who had the grace to look embarrassed. "Yamazaru-san, please serve the Inspector as well." He smiled thinly at the perfunctory rumble of protest from the man but said nothing else as plates were laden and offered and tea was poured; after all, it wasn't the first time that a Kaiba had sat down to a meal with an opponent of sorts.

The next half-hour or so was spent emptying the containers; Kaiba Seto's corporate enemies would have been somewhat surprised to see the mundane nature of the young man's choices in food. Anybody with _that_ much money, they would say, would surely eat something rather more sophisticated than onigiri and sandwiches, wouldn't they? But Nii-sama LIKED onigiri and sandwiches. It was a little odd that the riceballs had turned out to be tuna-filled and the sandwiches to be tuna salad, but… Mokuba shrugged. Maybe the kitchen staff had found a sale on tuna.

And at least they had dessert.

"Cheesecake, Nii-sama? It's got blueberries on it…"

"I suppose. Nakamori-keibu?"

Grunt.

It wasn't that _he_ particularly liked cheesecake all that much, really… but _Nii-sama _did, a lot (even though he always called it a 'self-indulgent overly-sweet waste of empty calories') and if it was available for Mokuba, then he'd have a piece too.

Just to keep him company, of course…

…and he _had_ noticed that Nakamori-keibu hadn't gotten any blueberries with his piece. Nii-sama had been teaching him the subtle art of Corporate Insult; he'd have to check with him later to see if this was an example, because it sure looked like it.

Mokuba yawned again and glanced up at the clock on the wall; it was getting late.

* * *

The graveyard had been terrifying; the techno-forest had been freaky. But the buildings were…

Well. It just wasn't very helpful to Kaito's sanity to find his _own school_ in front of him. He checked the sign; yeah, _Ekoda High School._ Great. He'd always wondered about where the School Board got some of their funding from, and now he knew: they rented out the building to the Twilight Zone.

Where had Red Eyes gone to, anyway?

The thief stood to one side of the gates, watching as the school's occupants streamed in, passing by in a chattering, uniformed crowd. A _completely silent, translucent_ crowd, actually; they were nothing more than shadows, barely there enough to see details like backpacks and jackets. It was like finding out where the dead enroll for night classes.

_Not a good thought. Sure hope I've missed Orientation._

There were a LOT of them. What kinds of classes would ghost take? Haunting 101? Shrine Management? Afterlife Planning?

And there Red Eyes was, leaning casually against a tree on the other side of the gate; his scarlet gaze was a challenge, and Kaito steeled himself to walk through the crowd of phantoms—

"'Scuse me—sorry—oh, didn't mean to walk through you—whups, watch out for your—never mind, I went _right_ through your foot, no harm done—oh hell, forget it!" With a determined scowl (and a devout wish for a blindfold), Kaito put his hands in his pockets and strode nonchalantly through the transparent student bodies; it was okay, a little cold, a LOT creepy, but… not as bad as zombies clawing at you from behind. The thief had gained new values for 'bad'; it had zombies in it. Zombies Did Not Improve Your Day.

Red Eyes was still leaning against his tree, dark arms crossed; from somewhere in the depth of shadow, Kaito caught a golden gleam. _"Are you ready?"_

Kaito matched his stance, leaning against the wall and crossing his own arms; Red Eyes wasn't the only one here with Attitude. "Depends. 'Am I ready to play another game of Tic-Tac-Toe'? Or 'Am I ready to get my brains eaten by shambling monsters from the pit'? A game's fine by me, but… I'll pass on the brains-being-eaten thing, okay?"

The other seemed amused, if his body-language (what there was to be seen of it, which wasn't much) was to be believed. _"Ah. Remember, Thief, you chose to commit the crimes which began all this; I merely provided the settings and the Games." _There was that odd violet flash again, almost laughter. _"And there are still seven more to go…"_

"Uh huh." The kaitou's own eyes narrowed suspiciously. "And how many of THEM'll include zombies and three-eyed whatsits and flying—what'd you call 'em? Crows?"

"_Whiptail Crows, yes. Difficult to kill, especially in numbers."_ Red Eyes straightened up and walked through the gate after the last of the ghostly students, followed by a wary 1412, who hesitated at the edge of the grounds. _"And I've no idea. The Shadow Realm is an unknown territory, even for me."_

"You're not… part of this place? A regular here?"

" _I'm often here, yes, but 'here' is never the same from one moment to the next. The shapes of Shadows depend a great deal on the light that casts them."_ Red Eyes glanced sideways at the thief. _"Shall we? …or did the last Game's events cause you to decide to forfeit?"_

Kaito's eyes narrowed. Kuroba Toichi's son did NOT back down from a challenge, even if it might have zombies in it (no matter what his opponent said, he was planning on keeping an eye peeled. One hint of slavering undead and he was out of there.) "…Fine," the phantom thief muttered. "You're on."

With one last quick glance over his shoulder, he followed the black figure of his opponent in through the horribly familiar gates.

* * *

_Aibou? How is it with you? Are you recovered?_

I'm fine; it wasn't so bad. You're right, the Puzzle helped. But I didn't expect him to come WITH us like that—

_Nor I. Something is very strange here. And if this Thief proves more of a danger than he's worth… there are things here that are stronger than his weaponry, no matter which cards he managed to steal. They could take care of the problem for us._

No way! You offered a game, he's playing by the rules! And he hasn't tried to cheat, not even once.

…_true. An honorable thief, I'll give him that._

Uh huh; 'phantom thieves' are supposed to be that way. And there's still seven more games to go—

_You sound like you're enjoying yourself, aibou. Are you?_

Yeah, it's kind of nice to be playing an opponent this different, you know? He's not like anybody we've played before…

_Also true. Hmm; tell me more about these so-called 'phantom thieves', will you? I don't think we had them in Egypt._

Well—I don't know all that much, just what I've heard in the news. But they always let the owners know before they try to steal something, and they're sort of like ninjas—you know, like in 'Naruto', the show Jounouchi hates to miss? They know all sorts of tricks and ways to sneak in places, they can vanish in a puff of smoke or disguise themselves as somebody else… and they're supposed to be really good at what they do.

_Interesting… But we're very good at what WE do too, very good indeed. Aren't we, aibou?

* * *

_

There were Good school days and there were Bad school days, at least if you were Kuroba Kaito. Good ones involved mop-chases by Aoko, taunting Hakuba to a steaming standstill, and avoiding Koizumi's more blatant come-ons. Bad ones had unplanned tests, too little sleep the night before due to heists, and having to pretend that No, He Wasn't Injured, Even If He Was Bleeding Beneath The School Uniform And The Bandages. Kaito _really_ hated that last one.

He'd always figured that you got a little Good to balance the Bad; Aoko-banter leveled out the evils of Chem pop-quizzes, Hakuba with a near-audible screech of brain-brakes made up for contusions and strained muscles—that sort of thing. Soooo… when you added 'school full of ghosts with optional changing corridors/rooms/etc.)' to the Bad category, what was going to be added to the Good list?

Whatever it was, Kaito thought as he trailed along behind Red Eyes, it'd better be damn well worth it. _Sheesh._ He glanced up at the blue-burning candles that had replaced the electric lighting and shook his head.

Japanese schools, at least the ones that hadn't been placed in pre-existing buildings, were all built on the same floor-plan more or less. And that helped, it really did. But… the _details_ kept changing, and it was getting on his nerves. _There, that's the mark Aoko made last year when she missed me and nearly put the end of her mop through the wall--_ And all he had to do was look away, and presto! No mark. And what little he could see of the colors of the paint kept changing (not that there was much variation between Institutional White and School District Beige), and the signs by the classroom doors, and where the water-fountains were and—details. Sometimes they were from his school, sometimes they were from somewhere else; though the thief _had_ noticed that if he waited long enough, Ekoda High came back. It seemed to like the attention.

But in the meantime, it was kind of freaking him out. And the ghosts weren't helping… They thronged in the hallways, chattering silently in groups or shuffling their transparent way into the classrooms. It was weird to almost-see them, almost-hear them, almost bump elbows, almost apologize…

Hell. This entire PLACE was one big 'almost'.

Kaito glanced at Red Eyes, who had been muttering to himself ever since they entered the building. If he didn't know better, he'd almost think that his opponent was a little… rattled? "You okay?"

"…_not quite sure, aibou, but-- Eh? Yes. Why?"_

"You're talking to yourself. You do that a lot, you know?"

"_Yes, I know. You might say that I have a lot on my mind… Ah; here we are."_ There was a brighter glow coming from the next classroom ahead (which couldn't quite make up its mind as to whether or not it was 1-B or 2-B, apparently); as Red Eyes pushed open the door, the thief blinked at the fitfully-flickering overhead lighting, the first evidence of electricity that he had seen since waking up in the dark.

It was pretty much a regular classroom—in fact, if he stared at it hard enough, it was Kaito's classroom, with all the familiar desks, scuffs on the floor, bulletin-boards, et cetera and so forth—which was sort of comforting, if it didn't decide to change every other minute into another classroom, which of course it did. There was a familiar game design drawn on the chalkboard, and over to one side two names…

_KUROBA KAITO  
__MUTOU YUUGI_

The phantom thief blinked at the first name, frozen. _Oh…No…_ "Did, did YOU write those?" he demanded of his opponent.

Red Eyes seemed slightly disturbed himself. _"No. The Game did. Is that your name?"_

International Criminal Number 1412 hedged. "Uhh, no, not exactly, not just at the _moment…_ Is that YOUR name?"

"_Not just now, no…"_

There was a pause as they both looked at each other. Kaito shrugged; fine, whatever. He took what would have been his desk during school hours, feeling more than a little weird as he arranged his cape over the back. "So, what's going to complicate the game this time? More zombies? Man-eating school security? Deadly pencil-throwing ninjas? What?"

"_Nothing. This is a safe zone."_ Red Eyes sat down near the window, propping an indistinct shadowy chin on one fist. _"Rules apply here, and the first one is 'order'. There will be no complications here, aside from those that the rule of order imposes… Those creatures who do not follow the rules here go to Detention."_

Was that a rather evil grin, hiding behind the blackness? "'Detention'?"

"_You would not like Detention here; believe me, Thief, you would not."_

Kaito shivered; he believed it. "Good enough. My turn first, then, right?"

"_Correct. Begin."_

_Definitely_ a grin, and yes, an evil one. Not _zombie_ evil, but still… 'No complications aside from those that the rule of order imposes', huh? And pigs were circling high overhead on witch's brooms right now, eating tuna salad sandwiches. Kaito winced as he stood up, approaching the blackboard; scratch that. All things considered, this place probably DID have flying pigs.

(He did wonder, however, where the 'tuna salad sandwiches' thing had come from; that was pretty weird even for him.)

_Hmmm… let's start out a little different this time._ He raised the chalk to draw an X in the left-top space—

--and the world _**changed**—_

_AAAACK!_

"What is the capital of Bolivia?"

He spun around; and the formerly empty, dimly-lit classroom was bright with regular lighting and sunlight and _full of his classmates, all staring at him, and Sensei was standing there looking a little impatient, waiting…_

_Bwah?_

"The capitol of Bolivia, Kuroba-kun?" Sensei tapped her foot on the floor; behind her, Hakuba looked smugly superior. Kaito blinked several times, glanced down at himself—yeah, white suite, cape, Kaitou Kid, Hakuba should've been singing Hallelujahs and doing handstands—and looked back up at his oblivious classmates and his impatient teacher.

Funny thing, though; Aoko wasn't there… Her desk was empty. And so was Koizumi's.

_Okay, this has to be part of the rules Red Eyes mentioned. Niiice. Sneaky underhanded SON-of-a-bitch…_ He wracked his brains. That question had been on a test a few months back—right. "Bolivia, Bolivia, uh— La Paz?"

Sensei nodded. "Please write your answer on the board, Kuroba-kun, and sit down."

_Write it on the--? OH. Okay, I see how this is working, I think._ The Tic-Tac-Toe diagram was still there. With great care, the thief drew his X in place, shrugged once, and took his seat once more. From behind him he could hear Keiko-kun whispering something to one of her friends, who giggled…

…and the world segued into a different classroom with barely a ripple; different students, different uniforms, different teacher…

"What is the square root of 379? Work out the problem on the board, and show your steps."

Having real overhead lighting didn't do much to distinguish the features of the figure at the front of the classroom at all, which was something of a disappointment; Kaito scowled, slouching back in his desk. He hated not being able to see people clearly; it was necessary in his chosen profession to be able to _know_ how somebody looked and acted, their body-language and expressions—and studying Red Eyes was like looking at an animated Rorschach ink-blot test.

It _was_ kind of entertaining to see his opponent fidget, though.

"_The square root of 379? Err. Just a moment—"_ Scritch-scritch-scritch went the chalk; the thief smirked.

"…_19?"_

"Keep going; three decimal places at least, please." Teacher-san was apparently something of a hardball.

Red Eyes was muttering irritably to himself now; it almost sounded as if he were arguing. Kaito cocked his head to one side; any psychiatrist worth his salt would've found the way that the handwriting on the board switched from Japanese to something angular and rather primitive-looking and then BACK to Japanese to be very interesting… A few more scribbles; the muttering was getting louder.

"…_next time DO your homework instead of… I know, I would prefer it myself, aibou, but we can't just… and besides… Mmph.; when we get back…"_

_Back where?_ Now THAT was intriguing—

"…_19.468?"_

"That will do, Yuugi-kun. Please write your answer on the board." The chalk scratched out a careful 'O' in the center square.

"'_Yuugi-kun'?"_ Kaito blinked. It took a scarlet glare from Red Eyes as he returned to his seat for the thief to realize that he had spoken the name out loud. "Errr, sorry."

Had he really just heard Red Eyes mutter _"Gods, I hate math," _as his opponent sat down? He hoped so, rather smugly; Kaito was good at math.

The world wobbled, flipped, and—"Kuroba-kun? Please show how verbs are conjugated in English for the following sentences: 'I am running for my life;' 'I have less time than I thought;' and 'Where are we going next?' Be brief."

…and fortunately, he was pretty good in languages too. Though he thought that whoever wrote the dialogue for this part of the Game had a nasty sense of humor_… Sigh._ "Yes, Sensei."

And that was how it went. Twice, Kaito missed the answers to questions (he _knew_ he should've spent more time on Modern Lit, but there had been that Biology quiz coming up and he had had a diamond to steal, and—well) and spent time huddling in on himself while sharp, icy daggers tried to peel away his skin; it was some consolation to see Red Eyes go through the same thing an equal amount of time (and for questions that Kaito knew the answer to), but not much. At least it wasn't as bad as losing a game…

…and _this_ time it didn't look like he was going to be the one who got shoved into the Soul-Freezing Meat-Locker Of Doom. With an air of utter triumph, Kaito wrote his last X and drew a line through three of them. "Bingo!"

From over by the window he heard Red Eyes slowly stand up, and his feeling of satisfaction abruptly went flat. He never had been one to just stand by and watch people suffer, even if it was part of the rules… and come to think of it, rules weren't exactly high up on his Favorites List either. With a sinking feeling the thief turned around. "Look, uh, you helped me out—can I--?" Kaito wasn't quite sure just _what_ he could do, but—

"_No. The rules, especially here, have to be obeyed."_ A shadowy face tilted slightly. _"Detention, remember? But I appreciate the offer."_ He glanced towards the teacher, who stood silently waiting, and nodded.

_Ow. Oh, man._ The lights dropped down, back to dimness—

This end of the stick wasn't all that much better than the other, actually; Kaito swallowed hard as the cold swept in like a fanged thing and wrapped around his rigid opponent, violet-tinged fog tight as a shroud. Scarlet eyes blazed almost molten; breath caught ragged in the air as the mist ate its way inwards, stealing warmth and life away like some sort of intangible vampire. Red Eyes staggered, reaching out an involuntary hand towards the blackboard; it brushed against the chalked characters reading _MUTOU YUUGI_ as he dropped to one knee, and for a second his eyes burned purple before shading back into red…

It didn't take all that long, not nearly as long as Kaito would have thought; but it took too long for it to be over anyway.

The thief shivered. _And I went and opened my big mouth and said 'nine', didn't I? Nine games total. Shit. Why the hell didn't I say 'two out of three'? 'Course, that'd mean that I'd be in even deeper trouble than I already am… I never did find out what'll happen to me if I lose, did I? Whatever the penalty is, it's got to be worse than this; and that is NOT a good thing._ Hesitantly he reached out and helped the other up; the shadowy fingers were as cold as ice, biting right through his thin gloves. "You okay?"

"…_Well enough… I am—unaccustomed—to losing here."_ A tremor shivered its way through Kaito's opponent, and for a second or so the blackness wavered. Kaito's widened; was that a face--?

Above them the weak overhead lights dropped to a glow-worm flicker, then blacked completely out.

_Damn. _"I think we've worn out our welcome. Looks like maybe the last bell's about to ring?"

"_I would say so."_

There was still illumination in the hall, though, and it seemed a little bright for just the blue-flamed candle-thingies; with one last glance back at the classroom (which now looked _totally_ unfamiliar), the thief stuck his head cautiously out into the corridor. For the moment it seemed to be empty of ghosts—(_Maybe they're taking their Finals?_ said his brain)—and there seemed to be some sort of harsh glow coming from the staircase at the end of the hall.

"This way, I think…" Kaito stepped out warily, aware of his opponent following silently behind. The glow drew him upwards: one flight, two flights, three flights of stairs, four—

And then there was a door marked _EXIT_; the thief opened it with a sigh of relief. He _LIKED _roofs; he could hardly call himself a kaitou if he didn't. Open air was going to feel good after the stuffiness of classrooms.

Except—

_Dammit, doesn't ANYTHING in this place act like it's supposed to?_

Except that four flights of stairs were NOT supposed to lead a person to the top of a building that should've stood smack in the middle of downtown Tokyo instead of overlooking a graveyard, a building that had to be at least twenty or more stories tall, and ESPECIALLY not _this_ particular building. Kaito froze in his tracks as recognition flooded in, feeling Red Eyes skid to a stop at his back.

"_Is something wrong, Thief?"_

"N-- No," he gritted out between his teeth. Everything was just fine, just FINE… unless-- "

A shot rang out, splinters ricocheting off the concrete at their feet. Frozen in nightmare, Kaito turned slowly, knowing exactly what he would see.

"Snake…"

"Hello, Kuroba," purred his father's killer over the smoking barrel of his gun.

* * *

"More cheesecake, Nii-sama? There's only two slices left; I'll eat one if you'll eat the other…"

"Cheesecake? --I suppose. Why not? It's not as if we were going anywhere… correct, Nakamori-keibu?"

Growl…

* * *

_**To Be Continued…..**_

_**Ysabet's Notes:** It's happening again… Chapter One: seven pages or so printed out. Chapter Two: eleven pages. Chapter Three: fourteen… Whimper… But I swear, this will NOT be longer than five chapters! Or maybe six at the very longest! Really!_

_Aaaargh…_

_Heh heh. You thought I was joking about the tea and cheesecake in my notes at the end of chapter two, hm? Well, there you go. As for the tuna references, I have no clue; they just sort of happened, and now they're an institution (or institutionalized; whichever.) As for other things here, well… I figure it might be a good idea if I explain why the Shadow Realm is doing what it's doing. The way I figure it, the SR is a real place; it's not totally imaginary, it's just really, really subjective to the thoughts of those who pass through it. The more powerful they are (and the more attuned to the Realm they are), the more they affect it… and the more they are affected by it. They can't change one of its natural inhabitants (like the Reaper of Cards) into a fluffy bunny by Thinking Sweet Thoughts, but they can damn well make a situation worse by being terrified to start with. On the other hand, they can't make a good Monster (like, say, the Headless Knight) into something evil unless they have enough native power to do so AND some way to link with the Monster (i.e., the cards). Where am I getting this? Uhhh… making it up from stuff that's sprouted in my head from reading too much manga, ficcage and watching a lot of anime. Anyway—the Pharaoh and Yuugi are, through Atemu's past history and the Puzzle, attuned to the Shadow Realm, so they can affect it and are affected by it to a very large extent. Why is Kaito able to change things (and the occasional critter) too, consciously or subconsciously? You'll see eventually; there's a reason._

_Many thanks to all my very good friends who listened to me natter away about this thing: Icka, Becky, Dogmatix, Po'e, Tdei, Hauntress, Wren-chan, Socchan, Edwired, Morgan and lots more. I still blame it all on Dogmatix (who, by the way, just did me a very nice piece of art from chapter two; if you go to my LJ account (ysabet dot livejournal dot com) and look at the entry for March 28th, 2006, you'll find the link. THANK YOU, MATI!)._

_I'm trying to use the critters from the cards as the game says to, trading attacks and defenses and following the point levels and so forth; but I'm a novice at this, so if I make a goof, please do not flame me; flames will be used to toast eggs on a spit. Cards used in this chapter were as follows: The 13th Grave, Dark King of the Abyss, Earthbound Spirit, King Fog, Whiptail Crow (nasty!), Headless Knight, Reinforcements, Magician of Faith, Malevolent Nuzzler and Dark Hole._

_Next time: At least three more games. Nobody is allowed to murder me over the cliffhanger at the end of this chapter; trust me, I know what I'm doing (Evil Laugh). Naps and Great Escapes. Big fishies and little fishies, endangered and non. More tic-tac-toe… and possibly Egypt._

_P.S.: No cards were destroyed in the writing of this chapter._


	4. No Idea, But They Should Be Shot

**_Shuffle (A YuGiOh/Kaitou Kid Crossover  
_****_By Ysabet_**

_Disclaimer: Dance, my pretties! Dance! Errr, I mean—not mine; no harm meant, no harm done. Don't sue, okay? BIG waste of time and effort (so broke I squeak). Wait 'til I win the lottery, THEN you can sue. But you won't win, 'cause I'll be able to hire Doberman Attack Lawyers… BTW, there are more notes at the end of this chapter. Just thought I'd say.  
_

**_4. No Idea, But They Should Be Shot_**

One definite thing that Kuroba Kaito, son of Kuroba Toichi knew about himself was this: he thrived on humor. He cracked jokes when stressed half out of his mind, cranked out horrible puns when anybody else would be at the point of snapping, and positively lived to see stuffed-shirt dignity dumped on its ass in a puddle. Laughter was the air he breathed, wonder and the spark of the ridiculous the things that kept him alive—and if he couldn't laugh at anything else, well… spending your time dancing around in a white tux while evading the cops with a pocketful of stolen gems was enough to make _anybody_ snicker at themselves (or die trying; and so far he preferred laughing).

But all the laughter was gone, now, drained away by stone cold nightmare.

"Hello, Kuroba," purred the man who had murdered Kaito's father; his dark smile gleamed above the smoking barrel of his gun.

The thief swallowed hard. _This can't be happening, this can't be real, this--_ "Snake. " The barrel of the gun never wavered. "What the _hell_ are you doing here?"

The gunman smirked, that same smirk Kaito remembered so horribly well from That Rooftop, the place where they had met for the first time… That had been a meeting which had ended with a bullet striking the thief's chest, knocking him to what should have been certain death. "You're here, so _I'm_ here, Kuroba. Where else would I be?" Behind him shapes stirred, trenchcoated-and-hatted figures rising up from the shadows. The goons stared past their boss, faces impassive and identical, just like in Kaito's memory of that night—

_(and something was wrong, wrong; it was JUST like that night, just like it so **perfectly**, down to the placement of the last henchman and the identically sadistic gleam in Snake's eyes as the gun-barrel tracked his every movement)_

He was hyperventilating now. Or maybe that was just the adrenaline rush, making him dizzy.

"Still looking for the Pandora Gem, Kuroba? Forget it. You'll never find it now…" That voice, so cold; and _NeverNeverNever_ whispered the goons behind Snake, sunglasses turning their faces into masks. "Want to know why?"

_(wrong, so wrong; how the killer's ash-grey coat-tails flared out in the wind, whipping behind him like wings; the way his black eyes glittered with the color of spilled blood. Snake just couldn't be there, he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't)_ "…Why?"

Black-gloved hands held something up that glowed sanguine beneath the featureless sky: A jewel, set in gold and dangling from a string of cherry-red pearls. "Because I _beat you to it_, idiot. And now it's MINE, and you?"

_--ohgodnohefounditfirst--_

A trigger-finger tightened. "—you're just DEAD, Kuroba."

**WHAM!**

The sound of concrete meeting Kaito's head reverberated and mixed with the flat noise of the gunshot; dimly he registered that someone had tackled him from behind and that he had lost his hat again. He flailed beneath the weight on his back—not all that heavy but heavy enough—trying to scrabble out, to safety, to somewhere where the nightmare wasn't real; but a hand grabbed at his cloak and he was hauled backwards across roof-gravel, half-choking, as shots shattered the night all around.

"_BE STILL, THIEF! Do you want to end up as dragon-fodder?" _Furious red eyes glared into his as a blur of black shoved him down behind what was likely an A/C unit or some other sort of rooftop paraphernalia.

"Dragon? Are you out of your friggin' _mind?_ Can't you SEE him? What the hell do you mean, 'dragon', dragons aren't—

That's not a dragon, that's a guy with a big honking gun!" Kaito wiped a trickle of blood away from his eyes. "That's the man who—_he--_ He's _NOT_ a dragon! Look at him!"

"_I see him, Thief,"_ said the other almost calmly; his scarlet gaze burned into Kaito's. _"But I see something else as well, something that belongs here where your enemy does not: I see a dragon."_

"…what?" Kaito sat up, mind whirling. "WHAT dragon?"

There was a low growl of laughter—in Snake's voice, but NOT in Snake's voice at one and the same time; it echoed, and it came from a chest much, much deeper and wider than the assassin could possibly have. The son of Kuroba Toichi staggered to his feet, breath catching in his throat as Red Eyes stood and stepped past him, surveying the thing that had suddenly grown impossibly dark, impossibly huge…

_**Oh. HELL. **_

--impossibly scaled and clawed and winged and there was an _entire rooftop full of purple-black dragon_ in front of them now, serpentine and golden-clawed, spiky mane fanning in stiff, lethal points as it lashed its tail. The pointed snout grinned Snake's own grin, rows of teeth glinting; burgundy eyes glittered like the gem dangling around its neck as it laughed at them again, rearing up and up and UP—

Red Eyes stared it down, ruby meeting ruby. _" Serpent of Night… Apep. I know you. Why do you accost us?"_

The answer was hissed, like rain boiling away into thunder; but the voice was still Snake's, only… not. "You _tresssspass on my territory; give me the little thief, Shadow Lord, and I will leave you alone…"_ Bizarrely, the huge figure seemed to fade back and forth from monstrous serpent to evil-eyed assassin, but huge or human-sized, the threat still felt the same. Kaito swallowed bile as it let out a long hiss of laughter. _"What'sss wrong, Kurobaaa? Ssssnake got your tongue?"_

Venom dripped from its fangs, sending tendrils of smoke up from the rooftop; the thief nodded to himself slowly, accepting that Yeah, There Were Worse Things Than Zombies. "I liked you better as a human being. No, scratch that—can't say I liked you at all." This still felt like a nightmare, but at least he was beginning to get his breathing back under control; Red Eyes' accepting calmness helped. He was _thinking_ now. _Dragons, right; if this place has pixies and zombies and three-eyed green Koizumi-kuns, it can have dragons…_

_…but what it CAN'T have is Snake, the real one. He's back in Tokyo or maybe Hell if I'm lucky, not here. So even if this is an honest-to-Kami-sama real dragon, it's not the guy who shot my father; it's just pretending it is. And I can deal with that…_

_… I think._

Bizarrely, that realization helped too. _Any_ touch of reality in this unreal place helped; facing a dragon wasn't nearly as scary as facing Snake all over again on That Rooftop. And if _Snake_ wasn't real, then that meant—

Kaito smiled. And raised his cardgun. "You want me?" he asked softly; "Then come and get me, you bastard. But you can leave _that_ behind; it's not your color."

**THWIP!_ --CRACK!--_**

Glittering shards of gemstone rained across the rooftop; as an odd dizziness swept across the thief, he reeled back and felt hands catch at his cloak, yanking him upright onto wobbly legs. _What—hit me? Feel like I just got a dose of Kudo's tranq-darts—_ The writhing creature in the sky seemed to ripple between its draconic shape and that of the dark gunman on the rooftop, clutching at a bleeding hand and roaring in a voice like Godzilla with a hangover; as Kaito regained his footing, he heard an urgent voice behind him—

"_We need to get out of the serpent's territory, Thief; the stairwell—"_ But he had already seen; goons had moved forward like a trenchcoated flood, blocking the way.

_Not that that's a problem, if I can just keep from falling over,_ Kaito thought dizzily; he glanced over one shoulder at the indistinct form so close behind him. "How heavy are you?" he asked, reaching for the control he needed and pressing a certain button. There was a soft _whoosh!_ as the framework of his hang-glider popped into place.

"_What? Why do you want to know that? And what is th—**AAACK!"**_ The remainder of Red Eyes' words were lost as the thief grabbed him around an indistinct waist, snatched him up bodily (and Jeeze, but he was a _scrawny_ little thing under all that shadowy black, wasn't he? All bones and muscle; weird) and took off at a stagger for the edge of the building.

_--I can fly faster than I can run—glider, I love you, get us the #$! out of here—_

If the struggling figure in his arms yelled, he couldn't hear it above the roar of the dragon or the rush of the wind; they were out and dropping and DOWN Down down beyond the creature's reach and around the curve of building, moving like a falcon in a stoop; lightweight or not, his passenger's mass was sending them earthwards faster than Kaito liked. "Dammit, we need an updraft!" he yelled as the dragon behind them wheeled around and streaked after, beaky jaws flashing sharply white.

A hand struggled from out of his grasp, flashing a single card face-up and smacking him HARD on the forehead-- _"Rising Air Current!"_

_Wha--?_

Something _bloomed_ inside him then, an ache that began deep within his ribcage and blossomed outwards through flesh and bone in a tingling sweep of electricity. Kaito was barely aware of crying out; all his attention was on the way the ground was coming up towards them fastfastfast_fastfastFAST—_

And then they were curving skyward, gravity clawing at their weight as the hang-glider strapped across his back flexed impossibly; it beat like wings, and he could somehow feel every angle and stretch of muscle that should not, _COULD_ not be there… Kaito must have made some sort of sound again; the world was tilting away from them as he swept the corner of the building, something remarkably like great, grey-banded wings reflecting in the dark glass of the school windows.

_I look like a freaking huge owl,_ he thought dimly as they shot past. It was one huge adrenaline rush of _wonderful,_ even with a dragon in hot pursuit.

**"_YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAHHHHHHHH!"_**

Faster and faster and faster, and the wings-or-whatevers beat hard and heavy against the wind; Kaito had always loved flying, but oh, _this_ was just-- He gave up on trying to think about it and concentrated on speed; Red Eyes held himself still in the thief's grasp (and it was a damned good thing that he did, because lightweight or no lightweight, Kaito's arms were going to fall off after this if the dragon didn't eat them first). Out and away, over the graveyard and spiraling up towards where the moon would've been; down in a nerve-shriveling ride on currents of air that bore scents of turned earth and moving water… It was everything that the thief's early-A.M. fantasy heist-dreams had ever been.

He couldn't WAIT 'til he landed and could really get a good look at himself; this was cool beyond words.

Banking well beyond the last tombstones, Kaito dared a glance over his shoulder, past the—he couldn't really see well enough to tell if they WERE wings, not yet—and blinked;the dragon was falling behind—no, it had… stopped? It _HAD_ stopped, right at the edge of the graveyard. Why? There'd been that 'territory' thing-- And now Red Eyes was waving a black hand at him, pointing downwards towards an open expanse of flat meadow on the far edge of the forest…

_OKAY! I can do this--_ The phantom thief grinned so hard his face hurt, shooting lower and lower and coming in for a—

_**WHAM!** Thud-thudda-bawumph_BUMPH_bump_bump_ BAWUMPH bump _bump_ whumph…_

"……………..ow……ow ow ow…"

"……_agreed……Could you please get OFF me, Thief?... Thank you."_

"Aaaargh. Note to self: Landing with a hang-glider is NOT the same—ow—as landing with wings. End of note. OW."

* * *

/Owwwwwwww… Are you okay?./ 

_-ing son of a-- I think so, aibou, though I don't believe parts of our body will ever be the same again._

/Those were NOT ancient Egyptian curses, were they? They didn't sound like it--/

_No, I learned those from your ojiisan when he unpacked that shipment last week, the one with the damaged books. He has a very creative vocabulary. And speaking of creative…_

/…we need to have a little talk with the thief, don't we? About what's happening here, because it's getting WEIRD./

_We do. This has gone on too long. And you may have to handle parts of it… I'm sorry, Yuugi; you're better at soothing nerves than I am, and he's a little—what did you call it? 'Wound up'?_

/VERY wound up. And that's okay, I don't mind; it'll be fun. He's much nicer than Bakura. /

……_Aibou? Sometimes you worry me.

* * *

_

And, once again, back in the Real World…

…Kaiba Seto was contemplating the universe and his place in it.

You didn't need a crystal ball, set of tarot cards, bundle of yarrow-sticks, or Eye of Truth card (category: Trap, requiring the opponent to show their hand) to figure out how things lay. Right now his universe was made up of a sole function room with a rather high ceiling, thick walls, no windows, and a thoroughly screwed-up door; it was populated by a contingent of loyal KC flunkies, a squadron of armed and armored police personnel, one Nakamori and two Kaibas. Resources were as followed: several briefcases, at least two laptops, a surprising number of cellphones, Mokuba's state-of-the-art portable game system, quite a lot of weaponry (hidden and otherwise) and the remains of a packed dinner, sans cheesecake right down to the crumbs.

Invading forces would be arriving in a few hours to open the door via cutting machinery, the Jaws of Life, a flamethrower or whatever such workers saw fit to use; but Kaiba Seto had never been one to sit on his thumbs and wait for other people to do their jobs…

Nakamori and most of his operatives had settled down, he was amused to see; the Inspector was actually dozing while a quiet-but-intense game of Poker had been going on among his people for some time. Kaiba's own employees were similarly occupied in low-volume pursuits, while his younger brother had curled against his side like a sleeping kitten while he typed silently away on his laptop.

Just a few more details to take care of…

_--engage programs UL-R201.dcf and N37-004.exe—good. That should do it. Panel 37N, one minute._ The head of Kaiba Corporation allowed a small flicker of a smile to cross his lips; it had been a matter of course that all function rooms had wireless internet available, if you had the right software handy…

…but of course Nakamori didn't have to know that. In fact, Kaiba Seto was rather pleased with how things had worked out.

Deft fingers typed a quick message on the screen; with a gentleness that only Mutou Yuugi would not have found surprising, Kaiba shook his brother's shoulder until the boy's eyes opened. _"Mmhp?"_ Those same eyes tracked to the laptop's screen, read, and blinked; then they crinkled with laughter as the two siblings slowly, smoothly gathered their possessions in their hands and their feet beneath them.

Several KC flunkies looked up at and then quickly _away_ from their CEO's and VP's movements; they had their orders, quietly circulated hours earlier (and Kaiba'd have to see about sizable bonuses for that. Happy employees were loyal employees.) Nakamori-keibu didn't even stir.

The older teenager glanced at his watch; _Fifteen seconds… twelve… ten…_ Beside him, Mokuba fought back a snicker as a vibration began in the wall-panel behind them.

_Five…four…three…two…and open. _**CLICK.**

_Excellent._

Kaiba Seto smiled smugly. Any half-decent businessman knew that being backed into a corner was a bad idea… but a _Duelist _knew better. Every corner was, instead, an opportunity to trap your opponents while you went on, leaving them in the dust as you conquered and won.

And oh, but he had traps to lay… _No-one_ stole anything belonging to a Kaiba and got away with it. It was annoying to have to leave his precious Card behind, but at least he knew with certainty exactly where it was—and that it wasn't going anywhere…

Quietly, unobtrusively, the brothers closed the wall-panel securely behind them and walked out into their expanding universe.

* * *

It took a little while for the Shadow Realm's current winners of the Worst Landing Ever contest to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, relocate their dignity and belongings and reassure themselves that No, they were _not_ being attacked at the moment. The thief's wings had proven to be temporary, which had caused him to swear; he'd _liked_ them. A number of things had spilled out of their pockets (or whatever Red Eyes used) during their arrival; Kaito was somewhat bemused at being asked to pass over several items that had become scattered in the long grass of the meadow. Since when did weird-ass shadowy crimson-eyeballed Supernatural Creatures carry around sets of house-keys? Or pens with game-shop logos on them? And they hadn't even found the guy's wallet yet. 

The other sorted through clumps of weeds with narrow, dark fingers, picking up things as he went. _"What are these?"_ he asked, examining a handful of small metallic spheres. The phantom thief glanced down; ahh, there was the wallet. He fought back an almost irresistable desire to take a peek inside and handed it over.

"Sonic grenades. Don't squeeze 'em too hard."

"_Ah. What is a 'grenade'?" _The other paused, seemed to listen for a moment, then winced. _"Never mind. Here—"_

"Thanks. Uhh… _these_ aren't yours, are they? I'm not picking them up if they are, 'cause they're, well…"

"_No, they are not mine. I do not carry Kuribou-droppings around with me."_

"Right, sorry. What's a Kuribou? Some kind of deer?"

Red Eyes shook his head without answering, rising to his feet. _"The next game will be…"_ A blurry face turned, something that was probably hair drifting in the wind; _"…this way."_

They walked through the darkness for a while; the grassy meadow meandered downwards towards what seemed to be a shoreline, smelling of salt and seaweed; it was, for the moment at least, rather peaceful and pleasant… if you discounted the distant roars of the dragon some ways back. Small firefly-like glows flitted past now and then, and once two round-bodied somethings dashed through the high grass in pursuit of each other, laughing in burbling, squeaky voices as they tumbled past.

"What were those?

"_Kuribou."_

"Huh… Not deer, then."

"_No. Deer do not explode under pressure."_

"Oh, gotcha—like grenades, right?"

"…_right."_

Long blades rippled in the waves of breeze that swept across the sloping meadow, echoing the whitecaps that were just barely visible now offshore as grass began to thin out into pebbles and then sand. Peculiar chunks of rock littered the beach ahead; they had a look to them of long-submerged statuary and architecture, washed up by the elements and forgotten. When grass had become scanty and sea-bleached under their feet, they both paused and stared out at the water.

Kaito sighed, looking up at the sky. No stars, no moon—nothing to tell the time by. Now what? Red Eyes had settled onto a chunk of rock, one booted (probably) ankle crossed over his knee, and he was giving the thief a look that meant that it was Time For A Talk. Fine; there were questions that needed answering…

…like, for instance: "I don't suppose you've got anything to eat? I'm starving—"

"_Sorry; no."_ The other scooted a little further back, one leg dangling; funny thing, he didn't really LOOK short, but the thief kept thinking that he was. _"We—I wish that I did."_

'We'? Kaito shrugged internally, choosing a seat on an artistically-carved chunk of rubble. "Wish I still had my hat; I think I had some chocolate stashed away in one of the compartments…" He looked at his companion—his opponent; he had almost forgotten that. "You feel up to answering a few questions? I'm starting to get the hang of the games, but this _place,_ jeeze— now I know how Alice felt." The thief sighed.

"_Alice?"_ Once again, Red Eyes seemed to listen to some unheard dialogue and laughed suddenly. _"'Through the Looking Glass'; I see. First, tell me: Who was that man? The one on the roof?"_

Whoa.

Kaito was immediately, defensively, The Kid: International Criminal 1412, Phantom Thief, scourge of Nakamori-keibu's nightmares and equipped with a very, very good Poker Face. Kuroba Toichi's son was nowhere _near_ the person who shrugged slightly, one hand tucked into the pocket that carried his cardgun. "Why do you want to know?" he asked, voice just a little deeper than before. "He wasn't really there; you showed me that. It was a dragon, not… anyone I knew." _He couldn't be. He couldn't… and he wasn't. He wasn't._

Scarlet eyes narrowed against a shadowy face. _"Because here, ignorance is death. You are affecting this world in ways that you should not be able to; I need to know why. I—"_ Once again the other paused, listening to something only he could hear; after a moment he sighed. _"We—I have a suggestion, a sort of game within the game… You say that you have questions; ask one, I'll answer it. And then it will be my turn to ask and be answered."_ He cocked his head to one side in that characteristic tilt that the kaitou was coming to recognize. _"Well? Up to another challenge, Thief?"_

1412's face stayed impassive. "I think I could manage that." He considered, defenses lowering just a bit; one hand toyed with his monocle as his civilian self slid a little bit back into the forefront. "You've pretty much seen my face anyway, so my cover's shot…" An ironic little smile crooked his lips. "I went first last time, so fire away."

_And… I guess I owe him. And he owes me. Or something like that. Whatever._

Red Eyes slid down from his stone to plant boot-heels on the pebbled strand; from his blurred outline, he had tucked his hands into his pockets (if he had them). He nodded, but as he paced away a few steps, he seemed just a little… hesitant, maybe? about how to continue. _"Good. I—"_ The dark figure paused, then sighed. _"I believe, however, that the questions would best be asked by someone else."_

_Huh? _"Who? There's just us here—"

His opponent shrugged, closing his eyes.. _"Precisely."_

And then, right in front of Kaito, A Very Warped Thing Happened. And considering how the night had gone so far, that was saying something…

Red Eyes' form _rippled _from within; a golden, angled object flashed brightness from where it hung around his neck, radiating clean, golden light for the barest of seconds—if the thief had blinked, he would have missed it. As it was, the brilliance woke afterimages that burned against his eyelids as he swore and rubbed at them, and Red Eyes looked back at him in concern.

"_Are you alright? I should've told you to look away, I guess—"_

_Holy shit on stilettos. That's not the same voice. Almost, but—!_ And the eyes that blinked at him, they were—you couldn't mistake _that_ color for red, no way no how, not that wild, burning purple. The changed figure moved towards him (and the part of the thief's brain that paid attention to details noticed the shorter strides, slightly looser movements, the way the head tilted up just a bit—was it his imagination, or was the other now maybe a tad shorter?) and stopped a meter or two away.

Purple Eyes pushed his hair (probably) back. _"Hi. It's okay, I just wanted to—um—my Other Self thought maybe I should talk for a bit. Nice to meet you; I've never met a famous Phantom Thief before." _He looked apologetic (or as apologetic as a blurry black Thing with glowing eyes could). _"I'm sorry, but I'd better not give my name…"_ And he bowed.

"Uhh—" Forcing his jaw shut, Kaito bowed back out of reflex. "Nice to meet you too… and where the HELL did Red Eyes go? Your 'Other Self'?" The capital letters had been clearly audible. "You're not—I, uh, you…" The thief swallowed, then gave the other a suspicious look. "You're not going to turn into a zombie, are you? Or a dragon? 'Cause I've had ENOUGH shocks for one night, thanks very much."

Purple Eyes—well, he giggled; it was a _very_ bizarre sound to hear coming from that void of a face. _"You're calling him 'Red Eyes'? I guess, looking like this, it sort of fits. No, we're not going to turn into anything but us."_ Missing Kaito's That-Isn't-Helping-Very-Much look, the dark figure scooted himself up back onto his (?) previous seat. _"Okay; I get to go first, right? And my question is the same thing my Other Self asked: Who was that guy on the roof? He called you 'Kuroba', but you said earlier that that wasn't your name…"_

Now it was Kaito's turn to sigh; he was, apparently, outnumbered. "Fiiiiiiiine… Okay, the short version: his name is Snake, and he's an assassin for a sort of Yakuza-type organization that's looking for a magical gem. That's why I showed up tonight to steal that emerald; I'm looking for it too, but… not for the same reasons." He was quiet for a moment. "And he called me 'Kuroba' because he thinks I'm my father." Purple Eyes blinked at him, a clear question raising one indistinct eyebrow. "My father… he was—I—He was trying to find the gem before me, to keep it out of Snake's hands. When I was a kid, he…" The thief looked away, out to the waves again. "Almost ten years ago, Snake shot and killed him. Only, since I showed up, he thinks my dad's still alive and I'm him. So now I've picked up where my dad left off, and when I find the gem I'm going to destroy the damned thing. End of story."

"…_oh. I'm sorry."_ Purple Eyes was looking at him now, depths of violet fire glowing against blackness. _"I lost my dad when I was about eight. It's hard sometimes, isn't it?"_

The thief nodded silently.

"_Your turn now. Go ahead; bet I know what you're going to ask."_

Kaito raised his own eyebrow, some of the sadness slipping away. "Yeah, well, can you blame me? What's with this 'Other Self' thing? And the glowing red and purple eyes, and… you're _sure_ you're not gonna turn into something horrible?" he asked suspiciously.

Purple Eyes was, he thought, grinning at him. _"You gave us the short version, let's see if we can do the same. Ummm… There's two of us, me and the Other Me; we're both in the same body, and when he's in charge he looks like that and when I'm in charge I look like this… here, anyway. Sometimes. He's better with shadow-magic, I'm better with people, and we're both good with the cards. And we'll only turn into something horrible if you cheat…"_ Almost a grin again, just for a moment. "_Does that help?"_

"Not lots, no… Who's in charge?"

"_We both are. We take turns at it."_

The thief shook his head; this gave schizophrenia a new twist, and he was pretty certain that it wasn't anything as simple as a split personality. "Two people in one head-- Doesn't it get _crowded_ in there?"

Purple Eyes WAS grinning; Kaito could tell. _"No; there's lots of room. My turn now… Are you affecting this place deliberately, or is it accidental?"_

"Huh?"

"_Okay, that answers that; it's accidental."_ At the thief's impatient look, the other nodded vigorously. _"The Shadow Realm is… sort of adaptable. If you've got any magic in you, it responds to it, matches itself to it. You said that you don't have magic, though, right?"_ This time he shook his head. _"Sorry, but you're wrong; you've used magic every time you've played a game. You've summoned several Monsters up tonight, and that one in the Graveyard, the Malevolent Nuzzler—she looked like somebody you know, didn't she? I heard you call her a name... "_

By now Kaito had pulled out his cardgun and was running a thumb along the edges of the pack he had loaded. "I know I have a few of those 'Dueling Monsters' cards mixed in with my ammo," he said slowly; "but—you, uh, your 'Other Self', he… used a card on _me_ earlier, didn't he? The one that gave me wings?" The thief looked up wistfully. "Man, that was cool. Wish I could've kept 'em! So how'd he do that? I'm not some drawing on a piece of paper—"

Purple Eyes drew up his feet to sit cross-legged on the chunk of stone; he leaned his chin on one elbow. _"As far as we can tell, you're acting as both a Player and like someone who belongs to the Realm. Believe me, the people and things that live here are NOT just drawings. The cards summon them; Trap cards, Effect and Magic cards change them, but they're as real as you and me, only sort of easier to—"_ He hesitated, tilting his head to one side with Red Eyes' gesture. _"My Other Me says that they're 'malleable'; that both you and they can be molded by this place, the cards, other stuff… You'd better watch that; using the Rising Air Current card gave you temporary wings, but if we had used a Beast Effect card on you, we could have turned you into almost anything." _The other hugged his knees tight. _"I don't think you'd like being hit with a Chaos Necromancer card very much."_

"Uh—does it have anything to do with zombies? Yeah? Then no, I wouldn't. My turn now?"

"_Go ahead."_

The thief had been thinking rather hard during the last answer. Magic, malleability, traps—the way he saw it, it was past time to get the hell out of dodge. "Just as a matter of curiosity, what if I up and refused to play any further? Not forfeited, just… stopped playing? Refused to X or O? No more tic-tac-toeing?"

It was like flipping a switch—

Violet _burned, _flared; coals scorched their way from purple to red even as the thief hunched back against his stone refuge. _"Then you would have to play a Penalty Game, Thief,_" said Red Eyes, voice both deeper and colder than his counterpart's had been._ "You began the sequence; either play to the end… or pay the price."_ For a moment, something golden and intricate glimmered above his eyes, a design of some sort; it faded quickly, but a feeling of threat hung in the air like the taste of smoke.

"I'm not saying I'm going to quit," Kaito murmured, watching carefully; "My father didn't raise me to give up on _anything._ Guess yours didn't either, huh?"

"_I don't know. I don't remember my father."_ The words were barely audible against the sounds of ocean and wind.

The thief nodded, sighing inwardly; _DEFINITELY_ not Purple Eyes anymore, then. "Anyway… no, I won't quit; no Penalty Games necessary—if I lose, I lose. Got it. But until then... how do you feel about calling a truce?" He glanced back towards the faint, distant roars of the dragon they had escaped. "I don't think either of us can afford any more enemies than we're gonna get on our own. So-- truce? When we're not playing, I mean? You watch my back, I'll watch yours so we get out of this place in one piece? Till the end of the ninth game?"

Silence; only the wind and the waves spoke.

At last Red Eyes laughed, softly. _"Very well; a truce... until the end of the last game. You're a very unusual thief; somewhat more ethical than most I've met. Interesting."_

"Thanks. For the guardian of a hunk of magic jewelry, you're not too bad either."

Red Eyes blinked. _"…How did you know about that?"_

He seemed slightly disturbed that Kaito had figured out his role regarding the emerald; and the phantom thief grinned. It felt good to discombobulate somebody _else_ for a change, what with zombies and dragons and two people in one head and so forth. "Union rules; a thief that does his homework is a thief that knows how to find the hidden exit when the cops show up. And I told you about the emerald… Speaking of exits, though, I know I said nine games, but, uh, I don't suppose there's any way we can sort of sit down right here and finish them all, is there?" Kaito scratched his head; he missed his hat. "I know I've got a couple of pencils and some paper on me somewhere…"

Dark shoulders slumped just a bit. _"No. The Game runs by its own rules and we have to obey them; once it begins, all we can do is play our way through to the end… and as you've seen, each time we play we attract the Realm's inhabitants. They know that one of us will be releasing energy, you see, and many of them need that energy to live. We are—"_

"—this world's version of a steak dinner? Crunchy? Tasty?"

Red Eyes considered, lacing shadowy fingers together over one knee. _"Yes; 'tasty' is a good way of putting it, though 'crunchy' might also apply—and my Other Self just said something about… being good with ketchup?"_ He frowned within his shadows. _"Moving on at the end of each game is a necessity."_

"'Tasty'…. swell." The thief surveyed the beach before him, turning right and left to peer along the edges of the breakers. "You said that the next game was this way? Where?"

The other closed his eyes for a moment, concentrating; then, turning towards the water, he pointed: _"Out there."_

"If you think I'm going swimming, you can think again," said Kaito firmly, wrapping his cloak a little tighter around his shoulders. "Hell, this place has dragons and zombies and giant birds and little round hamster-dudes—"

"—_kuribou—"_

"—whatever… I do NOT want to see what kind of, of _FISH_ is living out there." He shuddered. "Bring on the dragons. I can take 'em!"

As if on cue, from the forest all too nearby there came a deep, thunderous growl; Red Eyes' head whipped up, tension stiffening his shoulders. _"Curse of Dragon; a good card to play, but not a creature I wish to meet unfettered by shadow magic. Watch what you ask for here, Thief; you're more likely to get it than most." _His words were punctuated by a faint howl from the other dragon, the one that they had left behind. _"Wishes and fears can be very material things in the Shadow Realm."_

Kaito shuddered again. That growl… it had sounded like something that could make a meal of him without even having to chew him into manageable bites. BIG growl. "Really? So if I wished _really hard_, I could get us transportation out of here?"

His opponent shrugged, one hand reaching into what might have been a pocket and pulling something out. _"You wished for an updraft earlier; my card gave you one. Let us see what my deck will do for us now— or perhaps you would like to try? I did warn you to check the projectiles in your device… but never mind. You seem to have little experience with cards."_ Red Eyes began thumbing through his deck, and his opponent stiffened.

"Hey—!"

"_Ah—you would like to try?"_ Amused crimson eyes looked up from the cards, flashing for one moment into violet laughter before shading into interested red challenge. A hand gestured. _"Be my guest. But I'd choose carefully… perhaps something meant to benefit us all? You'll pay for a deliberate summoning with energy of your own, so something to replenish it would be helpful. No monsters or Trap cards; Magic cards only would be best."_

The thief glared, then pulled the load from his cardgun's clip and began to flip through them. A challenge was a challenge… and what could be so hard about using cards? He was a _MAGICIAN—_he had damn near teethed on a deck of cards! He could manipulate a deck to the point where it did precisely what he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted, dead-drunk and standing on his head in a bucket of water if necessary.

Still irked, Kaito slid the familiar metal-laced rectangles of paper through gloved fingers as the other watched, hunting for the taletale brown-backed invaders; "Lessee… _'Eye of Truth'… 'Seven Tools of the Bandit'_, that one sounds interesting… _'Wall of Illusion'… 'Bite Shoes'?_ What the HELL? Never mind…. _'Trap Hole', 'Skilled White Magician',_ I like that one, _'Right Arm of the Forbidden One',_ that's freaky… _'Dark Cat With White Tail', 'Bubonic Vermin',_ eeeew,_ 'Jar Robber, 'People Running About'?_ Sounds like Nakamori and his bunch." He pulled another card out, pausing; "_'Amazoness Tiger'…_"

"_What's wrong?"_

"Nothing. She just looks sort of… never mind. Anyway, moving right along—hey, how 'bout this one? _'Rain of Mercy'_—it says it 'increases the Life Points of both players by 1000 points.' That can't be bad, can it?" Kaito looked up inquiringly at the other, who shrugged. "Only one way to find out, I guess—uh, what do I do?"

"_What do you THINK you should do?" _Red Eyes crossed his arms and sat back on his chunk of stone, one leg crossed over the other. _"You are acting as a player here at the moment; so play, Thief."_ There was a note of sardonic amusement in the low voice. _"Play."_

Kuroba Kaito gritted his teeth. "Fine by me." Feeling more than a little silly, he held the card up high and concentrated HARD on the image there. _"RAIN OF MERCY!"_

_Gneeegh! What--_ His knees were suddenly just a little wobbly as strength seemed to bleed out of him in a rush; _Where's the 1000 Life Points, huh? Must be the payment, he said I'd pay in energy, but--_

**_THUD._**

_THUD. THUD. THUD THUD THUD. _"Mehhhhh?"

_HUH?_

Something roundish and brightly colored fell from the sky; Kaito knew this, because it had _bounced off his head._ He yelped, rubbing at the point of impact… and immediately felt _WONDERFUL._

…which, of course, made no sense at all.

"Holy SHIT! What the #$&! is that?" 'That' blinked innocent black eyes up at him from a wooly cinnamon-colored face, patterned with white stripes; all around the beach, dozens of similar things made a mixed chorus of plopping sounds and 'Mehhhh!'s as they impacted with the ground. Another one (this time sort of a pale aquamarine) bounced off his shoulder; again the rush of energy, sweet as a cool drink after a long, hot day; it landed on the ground, rolled upright, and gave the thief a long-lashed affectionate look: "Bweeeeehhhh?"

And Red Eyes was laughing uncontrollably. He had been impacted by one of the whatsits with a fetching lime-green-and-peach spotted coat; it cuddled close in his arms, and his eyes had gone all purple again. _"I don't know how you did it—"_ gasped Purple Eyes, apparently in the driver's seat at least for the moment, _"—but don't look now, it's raining Scapegoats. And they're giving us Life Points, too; that's not something they should be able to do. How in the WORLD did you mix two Magic cards like that? You'd better check them, Thief-san, because something's REALLY gone funny with them—"_ And he was off again in gales of laughter, which was just unnerving coming from that nearly featureless face.

Kaito stared down at the growing flock of brilliantly-shaded creatures that had begun gathering around his feet as soon as they could stagger upright; the colors and patterns were really unbelievable—plaids and stripes and polka-dots, and that one looked remarkably like the British Union Jack, and THAT one was unmistakably Argyle-- Lovable black eyes gazed up into his as they nudged and shouldered each other in their efforts to cuddle as close as possible. "Uhhhh…. Hi?"

"MEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!" they answered in a thunder of happy, wooly voices. Tiny hooves trod all over his feet; one particularly excitable sky-blue one had managed to climb onto its fellows' backs and was making its way determinedly towards him, purpose in its long-lashed eyes.

"Help?" he asked Purple Eyes plaintively; the other just laughed harder than ever.

It took a rather desperate leap onto a tall chunk of rock, several sleep-smoke bombs and some careful stepping to get them both past the puddles of Scapegoats; during this, Kaito ruefully examined his cards and realized that he had, in actuality, pulled _two_ of the dratted things—the 'Scapegoat' card had been stuck to the back of the other. He held them up. "Do I need to do anything to make them go away?" he asked, glancing guiltily back at the snoring heap of creatures.

"_No, they'll wander off on their own when they wake up; they'll be okay—Scapegoats are good at surviving,"_ said Purple Eyes cheerfully; _"That's why there's so many of them."_ He gave the thief a nearly-visible grin. _"We told you to be careful, though… I mean, you could've had a Rain of Lava Golems if you had pulled the wrong one. At least Scapegoats are cute. And they LIKE you—"_ He snickered again. _"Want me to try now? We really need to get away from this beach before something not-so-nice comes; with all this energy, we probably smell like a 5-course-dinner to most of the monsters around here, so-- I think I have something that might help; Jou—one of my friends—lent it to me last week for a duel and it's in my deck. Normally I wouldn't use somebody else's cards, but I don't think he'd mind." _Kaito gave the sleeping ungulates one last look and nodded. Purple Eyes carefully drew.

"_Legendary Fisherman!"_ Kaito blinked. What?

There was a roar of waves from the waterline; and then lightning split the sky, illuminating the figure that balanced there, bare feet shifting on living flesh as he brandished his spear high…

Kaito blinked a second time and then a third as a feeling of complete horror stole through his every cell. "Oh… _noooooo…"

* * *

_

"Mokuba, could you hand me the nylon twine? And the tape, and that string of fireworks? Thank you."

It wasn't all that often, thought Kaiba Seto to himself as he tied one more knot, that he had the chance to set traps outside of the dueling arena. Really, this was rather therapeutic when you thought about it; no holograms, no life-points—just the prospect of a great deal of gratuitous violence.

He was looking forward to it. Quite a lot, actually. "Have you finished with the pliers--? Good, thanks; will you need any help with hallways 3 and 7-West? I'm almost done here…"

A slightly grubby hand passed over the pliers; Mokuba had been inside the airvents. "Nope, already did them; what's next?"

The elder Kaiba sibling carefully tugged at the edge of a service panel. "We need to see what we can do to the roof-access stairways. Nothing permanent; I still want this building to be usable afterwards, it cost enough." The panel was being difficult; Kaiba muttered a particularly foul profanity in Spanish and it finally slid free, its curse-factor apparently having been satisfied.

Eyebrows went up above alert blue-grey eyes. "I don't know _that_ one yet, Nii-sama… what's it mean?"

Dammit, he had forgotten that Mokuba could hear him. "I'll tell you when you're older," he hedged, clipping and then stripping the end of a wire. Sometimes he wondered if he was going about this substitute-parenting thing right…

A disgruntled sniffle. "Never mind, I'll just look it up on the Internet—"

Kaiba closed the panel with a sharp click. "Try it and I'll lock your access down to 'preschool'." _Not that that would work for very long,_ he added to himself in amusement, as he glanced over at his brother…

…who rolled his eyes and gave a huge sigh of impatience, blowing a strand of black hair out of his eyes_. "Niiiiiii_-samaaaaaa." After all, Kaiba had been the one to teach him how to hack through just about anything. Mokuba wasn't up to his elder brother's skill-level yet, but all he really needed was practice and a little less of a tendency to leave taunting messages behind.

"Are you _sure_ he'll come back?" The younger boy tried to balance a screwdriver on the tip of one finger. "I know Yuugi-kun, um, took him _away,_ but…" His voice trailed off; Mokuba didn't like to think about what 'away' meant; it brought back too many bad memories of life after Death-T.

"According to Nakamori-keibu—" (Kaiba pulled a set of alarm system schematics from one pocket, frowning over the details) "—once this particular thief targets a gem, he won't drop the matter until he takes his prize. Almost admirable… if it were someone else's property." He smirked. "And considering the manner in which he left here, I'd say that the chances of his arriving back at the same place are very good. It's unlikely that Mutou or his alternate persona will leave him… wherever they went." Which, actually, was a place that he didn't want to think about very much either.

His brother nodded, abruptly sober. "Guess not." He began looking through the box of hardware that they had acquired, silenced for the moment.

It was one thing, thought Kaiba, to remember that shadowy, terrifying world in the privacy of his own nightmares; it was something else entirely to talk about it… Impatiently he shrugged away the thought. They had no way of telling how long it would take that irritating Pharaoh to leaven out punishment onto the hapless thief, but he doubted that they would be too much longer. After all, every second spent 'away' was time that Yuugi would have to account for with his grandfather if he hadn't yet explained to the old man about his body's cohabitant (something else he doubted. For all his naivety, the current ranking Duelist was no idiot.)

"He'll come back," said Kaiba Seto calmly, tracing a line of circuitry on a page. "And when he does… we'll give him a reception he'll never forget. If he lives through it, that is." The teenager glanced at his watch. "I wonder if Nakamori-keibu has woken up yet?" he murmured aloud.

Fishing out a coil of wire, Mokuba nodded vigorously. "I heard him yelling when I was crawling in the airvents on the third floor." The boy smirked up through shaggy black bangs, a mirror-image of his older brother's own expression. "He's not as inventive as you are, Nii-sama, but he's pretty good when he gets mad."

Kaiba snorted. "Hardly surprising," he said dryly. "Hm; do we have anything larger than firecrackers left?" The young CEO's eyes glittered; this really _WAS_ therapeutic. In the future, he'd have to seriously consider taking up something similar for purposes of relaxation (paintball, maybe, using semiautomatics? Mokuba seemed to be enjoying himself as well. Perhaps a joint venture-- they could add a paintball-range to KaibaLand.) "I've thought of a way to deal with the elevators—"

* * *

Oh, this was SO not going well. 

Kaito kept his eyes fixed on the game in front of him. If he didn't look up, he wouldn't have to see any number of unpleasant things, i.e., what he was sitting on, what was all around him, what was making that horrible fishy smell…

"_Your turn, Thief-san," _said Purple Eyes politely. He was big on politeness.

With a shudder, the phantom thief started to mark an X on the surface of the gameboard; it… _twitched,_ and his stomach lurched sideways. "Gnnnngh…" Shaky fingers gripped the glow-in-the-dark permanent marker that his opponent had dug up out of somewhere, and after the X had been made in the lower left space of the Tic-Tac-Toe board, Kaito huddled in as tightly as possible on himself in an attempt to touch as little of his surroundings as possible.

Purple Eyes patted the aforementioned 'surroundings'; black marked stridently with pure white rippled faintly beneath his touch. _"Well, I think it's sort of neat. I've never ridden on the back of a giant killer whale before,"_ he said a little reproachfully. _"And it's a lot better than swimming, isn't it?"_

"Gnnnngh!" In Phantom Thief Dialect, that translated into 'It could be a LOT better if my butt could learn how to levitate.'

Dark, dark ocean surrounded them on all sides, slopping an occasional wave across the surface of the one thing that was, quite literally, keeping them afloat. The two competitors were four moves into their fourth game, and Kaito was a very, very, very unhappy thief indeed. _NotAFish, NotAFish, MammalMammalMammal,_ he chanted to himself in a true ichthyophobe's mantra; and that was correct. No scales, a blowhole, et cetera; giant ten-meter-long killer whales _ate_ fish, right? LOTS of fish. Just fish. Not people. Just fish…

…AND people. Of course they did; silly him. Probably LOVED 'em, like a kid munching on candy. Didn't they? A drop of nervous sweat ran down the thief's neck. He _thought _they did; Kaito could _swear_ he'd seen some late-night show about Monsters Of The Deep or whatever, or at least fifteen seconds or so of it before he turned the damned thing off in a hurry.

_GNNNNGH!_ Oh, he was screwed, screwed, screeeeeewwwwed… no question about who was going to win _THIS _game.

"_Your turn, Thief. Quicker this time, if you would? The Fisherman's patience is wearing thin, I think."_ Another wave washed across the gameboard, soaking them both.

That was Red Eyes now; he could tell by the deeper, sharper voice and the lambent scarlet gaze that watched him. The two whatever-they-were had been switching back and forth at random ever since they had left the beach, depending on the situation and the moment. Purple Eyes had greeted their host (the giant, tattooed, wild-haired guy with the harpoon that perched at the forefront of their 'ride', staring out to sea), but Red Eyes had asked for transportation. Purple Eyes had begun the game… but Red Eyes had made all the snarky comments. And THIS one had been one of the drifty games, the ones where you had to stare at your X's and O's to keep the little bastards from wandering off…

It was kind of trying on a poor, honest thief's nerves— what was left of them anyway, after zombies and dragons and HUGE freaking killer whales. With a twitch or two of his own, Kaito scrawled another X (this time in the right-center space just below his opponent's freshly-drawn O.) _Yeah; gonna lose this one too—_

_--wait—_

_If I put my X THERE and he puts his next O THERE, then… it'll be a 'Cat' game._ As a child, Kuroba Kaito had wondered why you called a Tic-Tac-Toe that came to a draw a 'cat'; it didn't look anything like one, and even his father had had no idea. What did the Shadow Realm do to you if you both lost? or both won? Distracted, he looked up at his opponent, mouth open to ask—

--when a movement from their living 'gameboard' made him look down. "HEY!" he yelped indignantly as another wave washed across, taking his X with it. "Dammit!" He turned wounded eyes towards his opponent; "I don't suppose I could go again--? Didn't think so. Gnnnngh…" He watched moodily as the other drew a careful O where his X had just been… and crossed his three O's with a single line. Kaito moaned, gripping his cloak desperately. "Great... Just. Frigging. Great. Here we go again—" With a hard intake of breath, he clenched his teeth and waited; Red Eyes watched silently.

And the cold swept up and through him from the surface of the sea, like the great dark mouth of a man-eater, swallowing him alive—

It was worse this time, _much_ worse for being soaking wet; instead of just clawing into his soul like before, the blackness broke over him like waves, drowning the thief deep and pulling him under in a huge, roaring riptide of fathomless cold. It hurt, it hurt, it _hurt—_and he couldn't think and he couldn't breathe and he couldn't see and he couldn't—

--he couldn't—

--couldn't—

_--he—_

………………………….……_god, so cold--_

……………...

--and then it was over with, finally, and hands were gripping him on either forearm, hanging on tight, keeping him from slumping over sideways into the water; he must have blacked out briefly. Kaito looked up from his shaking huddle, sick and weak, expecting Red Eyes; but the twin gleams were violet, not crimson. _"It's hard; we know,"_ said Purple Eyes quietly above the roaring in the thief's ears. _"It's what you pay when you lose. In a way, it's a good thing that you picked so many games, you know? It's stretched out across all nine of them."_ The shadowy face turned away towards the line of breakers that were now just barely coming into view. _"If you had just picked one game and then lost, you might not have been able to ever leave here. If you were still alive, I mean. It'd depend."_

It took a second or two for Kaito to find his voice. "D-depend? On wh-what?" He chafed his arms, shivering hard. So COLD…

"_On what you had done and how the Other Me felt about it. And how you had played the game, and if you had tried to cheat. He… doesn't like thieves much, but he hates cheating worse. And so does the Game."_

"I—yeah. Got that a wh-while b-back..." The thief in question tried to stop shaking, but it wasn't working. "God, I'm FREEZING— a-and dammit, I'm still h-hungry—" His blood-sugar level had to be in the toilet at this point; the magician swallowed and tried to ignore his complaining stomach. Hunger wasn't so bad; right now, so long as it wasn't IcySoulDevouring!Doom, he could deal with it…

There was a grunt from further up their 'craft', and Kaito looked up. Their host (the scary, swarthy, wild-haired Legendary Fisherman guy) was holding something out to him, something dark and twisted and… impaled on a stick? Like a dango? "Uh—thanks?" Still shivering, the thief took it in seawater-chilled fingers; the black-haired man passed one along to Purple Eyes as well, and Kaito peered at the blackened mass of—

--fish. Smoked fish, from the looks of it; dried, smoked, fish on a stick….. it smelled a lot like day-old tuna. EEEW. He was hungry, but not _THAT_ hungry. Totally revolted but as politely as possible, the thief handed it back. "T-Thanks, but, uh, no thanks. Really."

Wild black eyebrows raised above wild black eyes, which had taken on a rather mulish expression. Purple Eyes glanced up from chewing. _"Arigatou…" _Crunch._ "Mmm--It's not bad, really; you ought to try it, Thief-san… You know, the Ainu people put a lot of value on feeding strangers; it's considered good manners."_ The fish-ke-bob disappeared into the shadows of Kaito's opponent's face; there were several crunches. _"You don't want to be rude, do you?"_

"Uh… n-no." Kaito swallowed; he didn't care much for the look on the Legendary Fisherman dude's face at all. "I'm not trying to be rude, not at all, it's just that I… don't like fish very much."

Silence. Their host was staring fixedly at Kaito by now, hands tightening around the shaft of his harpoon.

"_You don't like fish? Oh, you mean to eat?"_ Purple Eyes paused, glancing at the Fisherman thoughtfully. _"Maybe if you just try one bite—"_

"No, no, I mean I don't like fish. Cooked, raw, alive, dead—"

Jet black eyes narrowed in a tattooed face; that had been the WRONG thing to say, apparently. The Legendary Fisherman surveyed his passengers for one long sardonic moment, shrugged, and tapped their ride meaningfully with his harpoon as he took a firm grip on a fluke.

Purple Eyes' purple eyes widened. _"No—wait! Moushiwake gozaimasu! He didn't mean—"_

_**KASPLOOSH!**_

"_EeeeeYaaaghNOOOOOOOO!brblebrble…"_

Fortunately, however, they weren't all that far from the shore. Good thing, too...

* * *

"DAMMIT." Sploosh, slosh. "Dammit." 

"_You were RUDE, Thief. I am surprised that he did not harpoon you."_ Splash, splash, sploosh. _"The Fisherman is not known for his patience—something I can thoroughly appreciate just at this moment."_ Slosh, slosh.

Sigh. "…sorry. Dammit… Man, I _really_ hate fish."

Slosh. _"According to my Other Self, killer whales are not fish, they are—"_

"Mammals, yeah, whatever. Fish With Attitude, and I _still_ hate 'em. And that Legendary Fisherman jerk can shove his harpoon RIGHT up his blowhole…" Grumble, grumble, splash, splorsh.

As they slogged morosely through the breakers, though, both Kaito and Red Eyes paused at a sound and looked at each other, neither saying anything. The distant, echoing roar had sounded terrifyingly familiar…

…like the roar of a dragon. Again. _Again._

Kaito swallowed. Was it his imagination, or was it _closer _now than before they had crossed the water?

He—thought it might be; he thought maybe it was. _Shit. It is. _The sound faded away, dying into the hiss and moan of breakers; without another word, the two turned towards the dunes ahead and walked silently away from the sea.

* * *

_**To be continued...**_

_And now, for your viewing pleasure: **Omake Dinner Theater: "Customer Service"**_

Mutou Sugoroku, moodily sorting through a stack of gamer's trade magazines, sighed; today was one of those days for his shop, the kind where you just _know_ that as soon as you let your guard down and kick back with a good book, fifteen high-schoolers with dubious credit-cards and lists of hard-to-find items would be in through the door. He could deal with shoplifters, challenge-maddened nutcases looking for his grandson, the occasional homicidal Egyptian or shady stolen-card dealer, but teenagers with determined looks in their eyes gave him palpitations.

As if triggered by the thought, the door opened with a jingle; and he blinked at the angelically beautiful young woman who had stepped inside. She glanced around the store, pinned him with a look, and smiled

…and then again, maybe things were looking up. _Dear Kami-sama: Thank You for inventing the low-cut strapless summer blouse. AND short skirts. And fishnet stockings and high heels, yes, those too. Sincerely, Mutou Sugoroku. Whooohoohooo… Good thing I put a new tape in the store security system last night; I might want to keep this one. _Tingling, the elderly man straightened up and gave her his best _I-may-be-oldish-now-but-it's-experience-that-really-COUNTS,-you-know_ smile in return. "Good afternoon, my dear… What can I do for you?"

"Oh—" she murmured, stepping up to the counter where he could see her better (and he thanked Kami-sama again that he hadn't gotten to the point of needing bifocals yet), "I've just developed an interest in the Duel Monsters game lately, and…" The young woman paused, tossing back a burgundy strand of hair that kept slipping down onto her perfect, bare shoulder; "I've heard all _sorts_ of interesting thing about your shop."

Sugoruko preened. "Like?" he asked, squaring his own shoulders. _Nothing like a head-start to take you to the finish line first, _he thought smugly; she hadn't gone into Otogi's shop, now had she? Wait'll he told those geezers at Poker Night about _this_ one! "We have quite a good assortment of beginner's books and decks, teaching DVDs, magazines, you name it; a lot of very rare cards for sale here that you'll never see anywhere else, too." Unconsciously he smoothed his grey spikes of hair back beneath his cap; gods, this girl was a looker… she just _exuded_ charisma. It hung around her like a perfume, a magic spell…

Full red lips curved into a smile. "I've been dealing with cards of one kind or another for a while now, really; I can't call myself an _expert,_ of course, but… and I do favor the Magic cards; so versatile! Such an interesting game, Duel Monsters… all that violence, packed into such portable little pieces of art!" The smile tilted charmingly up at one corner. "Rare cards, now… yes; I do like one-of-a-kind things, very much actually. In fact—" her smile widened, "—I heard a rumor that this shop in particular had the three rarest cards of all in the owner's private collection: the God Cards." Burgundy eyes almost the same color as her hair sparkled alluringly. "Would that be you, perhaps?—but no, I understand that they belong to someone _much _less, ahh, experienced and _seasoned_ than you obviously are… Your son, or no-- your grandson, perhaps?" Again that sparkle, and the lovely young woman licked her lips. "Perhaps I could meet him? Only for a moment? I just _love_ children. "

Sugoku paused at that. "Oh. Yes. Right… my grandson, Yuugi." _Dammit._ He tried to make his mind work against the buzzing tide of hormones that really should have known better by now. He frowned just a little… "The—God Cards? Errrr, yes, well, Yuugi does have them, but they're put away upstairs. We don't generally show them to the public." _And for a good reason, a lot of good reasons. _Sugoroku squirmed, trying frantically to think past the growing urge to burgle his grandson's bedroom.

Something was wrong here—it really _was_ almost like being under a spell. The word 'fascination' kept trying to worm its way into his consciousness, waving its arms and yelling _HELLO!_

But…

Koizumi Akako smiled at the Duelist sweetly, a smile that had melted the hearts (and inflamed the hormones) of many a lesser man. "Oh, please? I'd _really_ love to see them, just for a moment. I'm sure it would… _stimulate_ my interest in the game. All sorts of games, actually." She leaned forward across the glass counter, chin on hand and cleavage in view. One scarlet nail reached up to trail delicately across the Turtle Game Shop owner's sweating cheek, lingering at the carotid.

"Pretty please?" she purred.

Mutou Sugoroku didn't stand a chance.

_--owari—_

_**Ysabet's Notes:** Right, enough of that! Sorry, just felt like playing with Akako; she's so much fun. Okay, as you can see, some things that I said would happen in this chapter didn't QUITE happen. Errr, well… see, it mutated again and it got HUMONGOUS and when I hit over 12,000 words, I sort of went 'AAAGH!' and decided it was time to split the chapter at the three-quarters mark. Seemed like a good place… but of course this means that the fic'll probably be seven chapters instead of six._

_Sigh…_

_Oh well. So how does it look so far? Gods, I loved writing the flying bits; I love writing flying bits! If anybody feels like drawing that, I'll, uh, I'll… let's see…I'll write them an Omake Dinner Theatre #2! Yeah! I can't draw at ALL._

_Anyway—they've reached the beach, which is actually a LOT bigger than you might imagine; in fact, it looks an awful lot like Egypt—what? You didn't think that the Shadow Realm had an Egypt in it? Silly readers… So next chapter we'll visit Egypt, we'll have some Nakamori and some more Kaiba and Mokuba, who seem to be enjoying themselves quite a lot. And I really HAVE figured how to rig the elevators (Kids, don't try this at home, you'll blow your hand off!) based on something I did as a child using fireworks. Damn nearly cost me a finger, too. There will be dragons, or at least A dragon, who has something special and very unpleasant in mind for Kaito. There will be monsters of other sorts. There will be far too much research done by me into just how the pharaohs had their tombs built, dammit. And the Game will continue…_

_Oh yeah, and the comment about 'NotAFish' comes STRAIGHT from the warped mind of Icka M. Chif, my good friend and bad influence; hope you liked it, Icka! Couldn't resist! And the Rain of Scapegoats was for Becky. Baaaaaaaaahhhh!_

_Huge thanks to the good, good friends who helped me work on this monster: Dogmatix, Wren, Po'e, Hauntress, Becky Tailweaver, Icka, EdWired, Morgan and the rest. This chapter is dedicated to the memory of my laptop, which died during the bit with the Fisherman; may it rest in pieces._

_No tuna were harmed in the writing of this fic. Cards used this time were (in order): Serpent Night Dragon, Black Pendant, Rising Air Current, Kuribou (guest appearance), Curse of Dragon (guest appearance), Rain of Mercy, Scapegoat, and Legendary Fisherman (borrowed from Jounouchi; thanks, Jounouchi!)_


	5. Dead Man's Hand

**_Shuffle (A YuGiOh/Kaitou Kid Crossover  
_****_By Ysabet_**

**_5. Dead Man's Hand_**

In a quiet, quiet room just a little earlier in the evening, infinitely far away from beach and dunes and killer whales of any description…

…Nakamori Ginzo, head of the Kaitou Kid Task Force, dreamed.

"…_and the winner of this year's Best Of Show is-- 1412, shown by Nakamori-keibu! Let's hear a round of applause for this wonderful display of handling and training, everyone! In all my years as a judge (and a good judge too), I have NEVER seen a specimen of this caliber in captivity before. Excellent breeding, Inspector! Excellent!" The crowd went wild, jumping up and down and cheering as the Inspector and his leashed-and-collared pet held their pose for the cameras. Nakamori smiled, deeply satisfied that all his hard work had finally paid off; beside him, his pedigreed specimen of Thiefus Japanicus sat attentively, features alert beneath the shadowing brim of his hat. One monocled eye, however, kept flickering hopefully over towards his master; and the Inspector at last relented, holding up a sparkling gem in one hand. "Alright," he said calmly as the crowd drew in a collective breath of awe; "Let's see you beg—"_

"Sir? Err, sir?"

_The phantom thief dropped to his knees, clasping his hands before him pleadingly. "Sir? Nakamori-keibu? Could you please wake up a little, sir?" Nakamori frowned in displeasure as the crowd muttered; that wasn't how it was supposed to go…_

"Sir? We really need you to wake up, sir—"

_The Inspector rapped his pet smartly across the nose with a rolled-up heist notice. _"BAD THIEF! NO BISCUIT!" _There was a stunned silence from the crowd and Nakamori tugged sharply on the leash, trying to ignore the sad, soulful eyes that peered up at him in reproach (but with no guilt whatsoever). He rubbed at his own eyes, blinked, and…_

…fell out of his chair onto the floor with an "oof!" of pain as muscles stiffened by too much sitting rebelled. Careful hands helped him up, and he slowly returned to the Real World. All around him the Task Force sat, none of them _quite_ looking at his face; and as Nakamori straightened his tie and retucked his shirt, he wondered if he had been #$&ing talking in his sleep again.

No Goddamn Kaitou Kid on a leash around when you wanted him. Bastard. Nakamori yawned until he thought his face was going to crack.

Nnngh. He. Needed. COFFEE.

"'_Bad thief, no biscuit?'"_ he heard one of the more junior members mutter in disbelief to another behind his back; there was a quickly muffled snicker, and the Inspector winced. GodDAMmit. Waking or sleeping, that white-suited jackass got to him one way or another. Nakamori ignored the red burn working its way beneath his collar and began to take stock of his surroundings—

Large room; hell of a really, really locked door. "Nnnngh."

Huddles of personnel, two (his own squadron and the Kaiba brat's corporate hoodlums). "Rrrrrgh."

And… something missing?

"Mmfgh?"

Just where WERE the Kaibas, anyway? Blink, blink; the Inspector stared at the room, looked left, right, and turned to look behind him. No Kaibas nowhere nohow…

Blink, blink. "NNRRGH? RRRGH?" He turned to his second in command. "NNRRGH?" Nakamori demanded.

"Uhh—they're gone, sir. We're not sure how, but…"

No Kaibas. No phantom thief. And no coffee.

"NNNRRAAAARRGH!"

"…Sorry, sir."

* * *

Sand and sand and sand and sand and sand and… Kaito sat down for the umpteenth time on a dune to empty out his shoes; they were beginning to crunch in that way that sopping-wet leather does when dried while the wearer walks on a beach.

A very, very, very LARGE beach… "Are we there yet?"

"_NO."_ Thunder growled overhead, despite the lack of storm-clouds, lightening, rain, hail or any other weather up to and including typhoons. The thief sighed; sand below, blank sky above, and a wind that was dry enough to wither the skin from your bones. Boring…

Boring, boooring, boooored….. And bored thiefs are twitchy thieves. Kaito pulled out one of his regular card decks from thin air, shuffling through it moodily. "Want to see a magic trick?"

"_No. The last one did not go very well, did it? You'd think you would have learned by now, Thief."_ And apparently bored Shadowy Red-Eyed Magical Emerald Guardians were getting to be on the cranky side… As if it had been Kaito's fault that his doves had turned out to be bats (large ones, with talons; mustn't forget the talons.) It was beginning to look like actual honest-to-gods-Magic had taken a liking to him, which was going to really make his next heist interesting if it was useable outside the Shadow Realm. It probably wouldn't, though; he hadn't needed Red Eyes' explanation to figure out that Things Worked Differently Here.

Kaito hoped in a way, though, that it _would_ stick; that Rain of Scapegoats had _possibilities _when it came to practical jokes, especially against Hakuba. If any of them came in tweed patterns, it would open up new entire worlds of bad livestock comments.

The sky grumbled again as he stood up, staring out across the endless dunes. If there had been moonlight, the thief though, they would have been sort of pretty; as it was, they were just… sandy. Bland. Or something. If this was supposed to be the Shadow Realm's version of Egypt, he was highly dissatisfied—where were the camels and pyramids? And the date palms? Wasn't Egypt supposed to have date palms? Or was that coconuts? Geography had never been his strong point…

"Which way now?" His opponent turned, a black blur against the grey, then started off again.

Kaito followed. What else could he do?

Sand and sand and sand and sand and sand…

"Are we—"

"_Do NOT ask me again or I will make you regret it."_

"…right. Got it." _Oooh, somebody IS getting a little testy here… and I don't think it's out of boredom. Something's bothering him._ "Want to talk about it?" The indistinct figure in front of Kaito paused very briefly, half-turning to glance at him with a flash of crimson before continuing on down a dune. "About what's bugging you, I mean," added the thief helpfully. "I may not be able to see your face, but I can read 'worried and somewhat pissed' a mile away from your body-language. So—wanna talk about it?" He schooled his features to radiate Capable Of Helping as best as possible; somehow it was okay for _Kaito_ to be worried, but it made the thief massively nervous for him to watch Red Eyes twitch.

It took a minute or two more of silent trudging through sand before the other finally slowed to a halt; he did not turn, but stared blankly out across the barren landscape as the phantom thief drew up beside him. _"This… I should know this place,"_ said Red Eyes softly; _"I should know where we're going. But in all my time in the Shadow Realm since my—since I can remember… I have never found myself here before. Never in a place that looked like this, like… Egypt. Or,"_ he added, crossing his arms and hugging them to him against the dry, dry wind, _"so I assume that's what this is meant to be. The Realm is drawing on my memories, I suppose… such as they are."_

Kaito studied him. "You don't remember?"

"_No."_ The word sounded like it hurt. _"No, I do not."_

A breath of air moved across the desert, tugging at the thief's hair; it felt odd, being in his 'uniform' but bare-headed, and once again he missed his hat. "I'm sorry," he said awkwardly; "That you can't remember, I mean; that's _got_ to suck." Kaito tucked his hands into his pockets, drawing in a deep lungful of the dry air. One eyebrow went up.

"_It… yes, I suppose you could say that it-- Thief? What is it?"_

"Do you smell that?" The scourge of the Kaitou Kid Task Force craned his head either way, sniffing like an Airdale after a scent. "It's like, uh, like—I don't know what it's like, but that's not sand!" The scent had come from the direction that they had been walking—it was sweetish, pungent, a smoky waft of air that made him think of night fairs and shrines and-- "Incense! That's _incense_— Why would anybody burn incense in a desert?"

They set off walking with a purpose now, their former uncertainty left behind in the sand; the scent became stronger, and as thunder rumbled in unseen clouds overhead again, the answer abruptly came into view over the rise of one final dune.

It was a tomb. Or at least it _looked_ like a tomb; Kaito had seen 'The Mummy' no less than seven times (to remind himself mostly of what NOT to do when stealing possibly-magical objects and to watch Brendan Fraser scream like a little girl) and yup, sure enough, this looked like a tomb-- gaping black hole of a doorway in a jagged cliff, carved pillars with hieroglyphs all over them, ominous feeling of overpowering dread… He glanced at his companion, who had stopped a few feet back at the top of a dune. "You smell that? Incense, coming from inside… We're gonna need a light if we're going in there. One sec—" The thief fished around in his pockets, pulling out what looked like an ordinary ink-pen; he fiddled with it for a moment, then nodded. "That ought to do it. Ready?"

Silence.

Kaito sighed not unsympathetically, crossing his arms. "Egyptian issues? Do you… remember something?"

The other hesitated. _"Only that it's not a good thing to visit a sealed tomb."_

"Yeah, but this one's not sealed; look, the door's wide open—" The phantom thief gestured at the slab that stood so helpfully ajar. "See? We can walk right in, 'cause somebody has… uh, left the door… wide open….. oh. _Oooh…"_ It had taken him a moment to understand, but now he stared at the way the sand had piled up at the back of the slab, at the way the ground underneath was scraped outwards, at the footprints leading _out_ of the tomb… "Oh, just WONDERFUL. You s'pose the occupant's out there wandering around? And do you know any good ways to scare off Scarab Beetles?"

His opponent stared at the open tomb as if it contained all the horrors and wonders of the world. _"Perhaps… one moment. Give me your hand, Thief."_ He drew a card from the ever-present deck; Kaito had just enough time to see a golden, looped symbol a little like a cross—an 'ankh', wasn't it?—before blurred black fingers reached _into the card_ and pulled the thing out. _"'Monster Reborn' is not meant for this purpose, but the symbol is correct; it will do. A valuable card, this one." _The ankh glittered in Red Eyes' shadowy hand for a moment, golden-violet smoke like a scrap of moonlight that had paused to take a look around before moving on; and he placed it on Kaito's gloved palm before the thief could react. Oddly warm, the thing glowed for a brief moment more before fading away again into nothingness; but the kaito's palm was still warm, tingling. _"There; it's nothing very strong, but it should be a little protection. If nothing else, it should warn you of the approach of those who upset the balance of Ma'at."_

"Matt? Matt who? That's an English name…" Funny thing; the card was now completely blank and dark. And his hand felt… weird. Not bad, just weird. The thief shook his head slightly, as if trying to dislodge an insect.

Red Eyes made what sounded distinctly like a snort. _"Ma'at, Thief. The order of things as they should be in natural and divine law, in this world and the next. Things such as the walking dead damage that order, and—"_ He paused, and for a second his eyes flashed briefly purple as the tone of his voice changed. _"—and this is sort of like a zombie burglar-alarm. It'll glow again if we have company,"_ finished Purple Eyes in a slightly higher register. _"Does that help?"_

"…yeah… I guess. You know, it really freaks me out when you two do that…"

"_Sorry. I'm going to take over for a few minutes while my Other Self looks at his memories, okay?"_ With out waiting for an answer, Purple Eyes skidded his way down the dune and past Kaito to peer through the doorway; _"Wow; it's DARK in there... You've got a flashlight?"_ As the thief clicked on the tiny pen-sized halogen light and played it across the opening, he twisted the shaft and widened it from a thin beam to an all-over glow… and blinked.

Okay, that was weird… Purple Eyes was throwing two shadows.

Kaito glanced down at his feet; nope, only one shadow for him. "Go figure," he murmured beneath his breath. Gods, he was getting a headache… Wrapped in their safety-blanket of light, the two (three?) carefully stepped in through the tomb's portal.

Dust sifted down from overhead, hazy in the dimness, grains lighting up like tiny stars; for some odd reason they continued to glow where they lay underfoot as the explorers passed. _That'll be useful on the way out—assuming we don't end up as Shambling Undead Servants Of Imhotep or whatever… What would Brendan Fraser do at a time like this?_

The trickling dust-motes refused to answer. Suppressing a cough, Kaito continued on.

After a dozen meters or so, the passage sloped steeply; it was all the two could do to keep on their feet and not go rolling down the dusty stone slant like pachinko-balls down a chute. At one point, Purple Eyes staggered, reached out blindly for support, and Kaito had the rather unique experience of feeling the other's grip change as Red Eyes took over (or whatever it was he did). _"Careful,"_ murmured the other, and the thief doubted somehow that the comment was directed at him.

Things got twisty then; corridors branched, leveled, rose and fell, all made of perfectly-fitted blocks of featureless stone. Where were all the carvings and so forth that you saw in National Geographic, Kaito wondered? You'd think the walls would be practically crawling with them…

It was about then that he saw the first beetle. Crawling, in fact. It was large, it had pincers, and it waved its feelers at him in a threatening sort of way before scurrying into a crevice in the floor. Kaito did his best to restart his heart before passing the crevice in a calm, orderly, Phantom-Thiefish manner, since screaming like a little girl (or like Brendon Fraser, for that matter) would probably be a little out of line. Besides, man-eating Scarab Beetles probably could smell fear a mile away—

A second beetle scurried by his foot, and then a third, larger and obscenely fatter than the other two. _"Ah,"_ said Red Eyes approvingly, back in control again; _"A Scarab Beetle. They were considered sacred in Egypt once; perhaps they'll bring us luck."_

Right… Kaito hunched in on himself a bit and kept a sharp watch for human bones underfoot.

Stairs were underfoot at random intervals, and these led into progressively better-built rooms; beyond the thin waft of incense-smoke, ornamentation started to show up at last in the form of niches to either side, bearing carvings of stiff, beaky-nosed people in odd clothing and odder poses. _"Gods of the four directions," _murmured Red Eyes softly as they passed, a strange note of longing in his voice.

It was so quiet; a little, thought Kaito, like being in a shrine when the priest was out. He supposed that this made sense.

Footsteps muted, the two passed through several openings that shone rich and intricate with inscriptions and drawings of people, trees, animals; the thief blinked at the unfamiliar characters. "Can you read this stuff?" he wondered out loud. "Who does this place belong to?" The few bits and pieces he recalled from history class said that Egyptian tombs had the name of the deceased written all _over _the place inside these sort of long oval frames called 'cartouches', and he could see those everywhere but—

"_I can read it," _said Red Eyes in a voice just barely above a breath; _"but the name of the owner… is not there."_

"Not there?"

"_No. Nowhere here, nowhere… There are no names here, not of men, not even those of the honored dead's ancestors. The walls say— nothing to me, except for the names of the gods."_

Silence; Kaito looked at the empty, blank space inside each cartouche on the walls and asked no more.

They walked on: through rooms with ceilings painted in arching star-scapes, with walls depicting rivers in flood and flights of birds; through corridors so tall that their roofs could not be seen; through doorways with blocks of unmortared stone set beside them as if waiting to be closed. _"Those should be sealed,_" whispered Red Eyes as if not wanting to break the hush. _"Why aren't the doors sealed?"_

At last the slope evened out; the walls widened into a room that even their small light showed to be bright with color, and—

"Oh, _man….._" whispered the thief in totally reverential tones, "Will you just _LOOK_ at all that….."

'All that' could be summed up in one word: _treasure._

It wasn't the proverbial pirate's plunder or dragon's hoard; and the careful arrangement of boxes, statues, jars, furniture and other unknown things owed nothing to Indiana Jones-style fantasies—it was too neatly arranged, too perfect. Gold-sheathed surfaces threw back the light, mixed with flashes of lapis and the silky red of inlaid coral; and everywhere there were scenes, etched into the backs of chairs and the sides of chests: people dancing, working, fighting, tangled in brilliant color… A wreath of dead flowers lay draped across a box at the far end of the room, their perfume still faintly tinting the dusty air. Above all lay a drift of incense-smoke, snaking up from a deep brazier at the end of the room.

"Y'know…"

"…it's kind of like a rummage-sale in a museum," said the thief thoughtfully, eyeing a stack of ornate platters and goblets. "Even with the gold and jewels and stuff it almost looks tacky." Red Eyes favored him with a dirty look as they stepped into the room.

They had reached a dead end at this point, and it was easy to see why: carefully set up on an ornate stand was a gameboard, low backless benches waiting on either side. It wasn't Tic-Tac-Toe, but-- Red Eyes surveyed the arrangement of crossed lines and odd symbols, one dark finger tracing the edges of a jeweled game counter. _"I should know how to play this,"_ he murmured into the quiet. _"This is… Senet? I think—if I tried, I could remember how to play… but never mind. We should keep to the game we began with. If we use the nine squares on the end as our field of play… yes, that should work."_ He took a seat, passing over the ivory-and-gold pieces to Kaito and reserving a set of ebony-and-silver ones for himself. _"Let us begin. I do not want to linger here any longer than we have to."_

"Suits me." Kaito took a deep breath and sat down, trying to ignore his headache and reaching for his first piece.

Time passed heavily in the dusty room; you could almost _feel_ it slipping over your skin, sand blown in a breeze that never quite died. The seconds flickered by as each move was worked out and executed, weighing the pieces and the players down, _tick-tick-tick-tick…_ X's and O's, black and white, gold and silver, ebony and ivory and the glint of garnet and sapphire at the center of each counter… The phantom thief recalled dimly that Egyptian tombs had been called 'Houses of Eternity'; in this one, the game went slowly. Or maybe it didn't; it was hard to tell, what with the languid slip of seconds stealing past. It might have been quick for all the players could tell.

And Kaito was losing again. _Dammit. I'm concentrating, but it's just getting worse. And my head's throbbing. WHY can't I--_

WAIT a second… "They just moved again!" he said indignantly.

Red Eyes had been watching the shadows beyond one shoulder; now he turned his head back towards his opponent. _"You know how the Game works by now, Thief. If you can't keep your pieces in place it's no-one's fault but your own—"_

"Not MY pieces!" Kaito waved an irate hand at the gameboard. "YOUR pieces. And it just completely screwed up my strategy!"

Red Eyes blinked. _"What? …Oh." _He looked down at the board and muttered something that was distinctly _not_ Japanese as he stared at the now-completely-random arrangement of counters. _"I hate it when this happens… As much as I and my Other enjoy games, sometimes I wish I had taken up something a little more—what is that term he uses? 'User friendly'?" _He drummed his fingers on the edge of the Senet board irritably. _"The Shadow Realm may not actually have a sense of humor, but it thinks that it does."_

Kaito snickered a little, hiding it hastily inside a cough. "No, really? --uh, your move," he added politely.

And that was how it went for—well, a while; it was hard to tell how long. Long enough, however, to allow Kaito to learn several new words in what he presumed was ancient Egyptian, and for Red Eyes to eventually stand up, cross his arms, glare and quite literally threaten the gameboard's miserable little life in a long, hissed stream of invective after all of the pieces had not only switched their placements around but their colors as well –for the fourth time. "Nice," remarked the thief appreciatively; "What does _'s'tha!'_ mean?"

"_Never mind."_ With an aggravated air, his opponent sat down a counter; now things were going badly for _him,_ and Kaito couldn't quite decide whether or not he'd be risking his life if he laughed or not. Probably… and…

…and he set down the last counter (now a vivid blue exactly the shade of his shirt; Red Eyes' had, predictably, turned red) in the bottom center space. "Checkmate!"

His opponent blinked. "Well, what _do_ you say when you win a Tic-Tac-Toe game?" asked the phantom thief reasonably. He watched as the other slowly rose to his feet, and his triumphant grin died a quick death as he remembered just what was about to happen. "Aaack. Wait—"

The cold was already gathering; Red Eyes stood there stoically, arms crossed. _"There is nothing to wait for. I lost, you won."_

"Yeah, but the Game played **_US_** this time—" Kuroba Kaito was growing angry; this just wasn't _right_. "Dammit, it kept switching everything around—either one of us could've won by pure accident, or both of us at the same time, or—oh, HELL. Aaargh!" He could feel the first whips of that searing, biting cold reaching past him, and impulsively he grabbed at the other's wrist—

_--and they were in a room of mazes, a maze of rooms, staircases and doors and hallways and everything going up and down and sideways all at once like an Escher drawing that had been turned 3-D and then gotten royally drunk. The cold spun through, twisting around all three (two? three, yes) of them like a sandstorm full of ice, an icestorm filled with sand, pounding and dragging at their clothing and skin until they were a three-part huddle of dark leather/navy cloth/ragged white cloak, hands holding tightly to each other's to fend off the shrieking winds—_

"Oh," said Kaito, gasping for breath, flat on his back beside his upended bench. "Wow…"

It hadn't been as bad as before, not even close; he didn't feel nearly so, so _enervated_ as the last time, and besides this time he had WON and Red Eyes was— The thief looked up. "Are you okay—_nngh?"_

Red Eyes wasn't just Red Eyes anymore. Kaito blinked, then blinked again at what he was seeing, but it didn't go away. There were two of him now, one solid and black and pretty much the Scary Dark Magical Gem Guardian Guy he had been so far… and another figure, very faint, just a shimmer in the air, _not_ black at all. He couldn't make out the third person's features, but he could see color pretty well, and this was… well, he thought the other was wearing maybe—jeans? and some sort of long-sleeved shirt with a logo on the front? Their face was confusing; he couldn't even tell hair-color, it was too indistinct…

_Okay; I'm in a tomb, and there's a ghost-- I'm taking this awfully well, aren't I?_ It had to be shock or something…

And the ghost in question was kneeling beside Red Eyes, talking to him in a near-soundless whisper; the words were beyond even Kaito's hearing, but he could hear the worry in them. Was this… Purple Eyes, maybe? As if the other had heard him, a blurry shadow of a face looked up at the thief for a moment; and he watched silently as the translucent figure faded out until there was nothing to be seen but his eyes (purple; surprise, surprise), vanishing last of all like a Cheshire Cat who hadn't been keeping up with the rest of the class. Without a word Red Eyes climbed to his feet, leaning heavily on his bench. "Are you okay?" asked Kaito again. "And who the _s'tha_ was _that?"_

"_You should know, Thief; you've already met my Other Self."_ A black hand rubbed tiredly at eyes whose glow seemed a little dimmer than before. _"Thank you. That was… kind of you, but I could have… never mind. Thank you."_

Kaito shrugged as he got up, deciding to accept the reply in the spirit it had been given in. "Yeeeeahh… No problem, I guess." Questions about the weird up-down-sideways staircases and corridors were burning the tip of his tongue, but he figured that he had better hold off until they were both a little more settled. Red Eyes was looking more than a little ragged right now—

Funny thing, though; Kaito's headache was gone, completely gone; in fact, he felt… good. Almost normal, in fact, like he had a current of energy buzzing through him. Weird.

The unmoving stillness of the room had stirred a little in the commotion. Dust swirled through the air in agitated currents; there were petals from the dried wreath floating everywhere, as if someone had just produced a particularly shojo anime in the crypt. The thief scanned the walls warily; he could hear odd clicks and scraping sounds that made him _highly_ nervous, considering one of the scenes from a certain Brendan Fraser movie that kept replaying in his head… "Please tell me those aren't scarab beetles," he muttered.

"…_What?" _His companion glanced wearily up. He really _wasn't_ used to losing, was he?

"Uhh, nothing. Let's see, that's… two for me, three for you, right?" A thought was beginning to take shape in his mind about that—a thought, a pattern, and a plan; it was always good to have something to fall back on if things didn't quite work out like you wanted them to. In the meantime, though… Kaito looked thoughtfully at the way the other's shoulders were sagging and righted his own bench, sitting down. "You mind if we take a break before we move along?" He glanced around at the huddle of rich furnishings and sighed as his stomach rumbled. "Man, I'm hungry… I'd trade any amount of all this treasure crap for one little onigiri, just one."

_? What's with THAT look?_

Crimson eyes had shifted, focusing all too sharply on his face; the thief fidgeted a little. Recent events had taken a lot of the edge off his initial case of nerves around his companion, but that stare— Something had just hit a nerve. Red Eyes' low voice was acidic and more than a little sarcastic past the harsh weariness that his loss had brought on. _"Really? Most thieves would not so devalue 'all this treasure crap.' You do steal jewels; you are a thief. What makes this so different?"_

The question hung in the dusty air along with Red Eyes' still-rapid breathing, and beyond the slow burn that it had kindled between Kaito's ears he recalled Purple Eyes' comment about how his Other Self didn't care much for thieves…

But it STILL pissed him off. Kaito's back stiffened.

_Goddammit, I just saved your sorry self, I don't have to put up with-- Wait. Wait. Cool down a bit, Thief Boy, don't let this get to you. He just got his ass handed to him on a plate, you two—three, I mean—just went through something really warped even for THIS place (and what was with all those staircases and corridors and stuff anyway?) and he's rattled, really rattled; so he's snapping back. Wish I knew why he hates thieves so much-- Count to ten and remember, he helped you before. He's not too bad a whatever-he-is; don't lose it now just because he's being a pain. And keep in mind that this is HIS territory; he could leave you stranded here if he felt like it. _

The thief took his own advice and pushed the anger back. "Heh… you don't know much about phantom thieves, do you?" asked Kaito carefully, running one hand through his tangled hair.

Red Eyes said nothing; but his scarlet gaze narrowed slightly.

"Right. Let's get this straight RIGHT now, okay? See, it's like this." The son of the original Kaitou Kid met that gaze evenly; this was important to him as well. "I can't speak for any of the others, but… I have rules I work by. _Rules. _Just like in games… And for me, it's like this: One—I pick a target, and _only_ that target gets hit. Two—if it turns out that it isn't what I want, and I've already told you what I'm looking for, I give it back… eventually. And finally, Three—nobody gets hurt in the process if I can help it. And that includes me." He drew a deep breath, futilely smoothing his hair again. "I don't know shit about the customs of Egypt and everything, at least not outside of what I've seen in the movies, but my mom raised me right—and you do NOT steal things from people's graves. This is a tomb; that means it's a **_grave,_** whether or not the occupant's in residence or out stalking Cairo or whatever. You think I WANT to get eaten alive by Scarab Beetles?" Kaito crossed his arms and glared defiantly at his opponent. "I may be a thief, but I'm an honest one, okay? THAT'S what makes this so different."

The words rang hard-edged in the crowded, glittering room; Kuroba Toichi's son sighed then and added a little more quietly, "If I was just a regular thief, just took things for no other reason than greed… I'd disappoint my father, wherever he is; I know I would. And I can't do that."

"……………_.."_

"Oh yeah, and one more thing—you know what happens when I take something valuable and return it to the owner?"

Red Eyes sounded a little calmer (though not all that much). _"What?"_

"They up the security." Kaito allowed just the tip of a smug grin to break through; humor was _always_ good for breaking up a case of Attitude, just like a really nice lockpick wiggling open a stubborn door. "Regular thieves HATE me—once I've targeted a prize, the owners usually lock it down so tight afterwards that _nobody_ can get to it ever again… well, except me, of course. If I wanted to." Nonchalantly he buffed his nails on one rather dirty lapel, glancing up mockingly through his monocle. "But I never do, 'cause well, been there, done that, right? I'm only after one thing, and if I've checked it out and given it back, what's the point? All this stuff," and he stuck a thumb out towards the golden wealth of the tomb, "means a hell of a lot less to me than a really decent sandwich or six would right now."

Red Eyes said nothing for a long minute, but it was a _reflective_ nothing and that was encouraging. Kaito swallowed the remnants of his own fading anger; whatever the guy's reasons for hating thieves so much were, at least he was listening. And that was a start. It wasn't like they were either of them in the best of shape; even under vaguely normal conditions, they—

**Thud. **

**Thud. THUD. CRUNCH, CRUNCH……. _CRRRRAAAAAAACK….._**

………………………

There was a remarkably busy moment of silence as two pairs of eyes (one scarlet and glowing, one dark blue and extremely wide) looked up simultaneously towards the ceiling. Dust sifted down like a curtain from the sudden crevice that had just bisected the painted surface; a small chunk of stone dropped with a clatter into an open space of the Senet board.

With elaborate calm, Kaito said, "Were we expecting guests?"

Dry as desert sands, Red Eyes answered back: _"Not that I was aware of. Have you aggravated someone else?"_

"Nobody big enough to do _THAT—"_

And **_then_** there came the roar. It shook the stones around them, rattled the stacks of funerary finery, toppled game-pieces from their places.

"Oh JEEZE no—"

"_S'tha—"_

" _SHIT! _I thought you said it'd stay in its territory!"

"_It should have!"_

The crack in the ceiling widened; from somewhere far above came the sound of a thousand gigantic ferrets, clawing their way through layers of solid stone… or maybe just one very angry, very determined dragon. _"LET'S GET THE HELL **OUT** OF HERE!"_ shouted Kaito above the thunder of noise; his companion didn't bother answering as they tore out of the room, chunks of painted plaster bouncing painfully off their heads and backs. A blinding haze of dust filled the air, mixed with the ozone-and-copper taste of lightning; as a blast of fiery breath sizzled the air at their heels, Red Eyes snarled something out that Kaito didn't catch and threw a card past them, even as the thief scooped a random handful of grenades of various types from his own pocket and lobbed them over one shoulder—

**_BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOWWWW! FLASH!_ **The shrillness, screaming and brilliance of a combination Sonic Grenade/Blue Light Special were suddenly blotted out by a **"WHOOMPH!"** and a gaping blackness that seemed to suck at the dim glare of Kaito's flashlight, almost forgotten in his hand. "What was THAT?" he yelled, stumbling over a flagstone.

"_Shadow Spell—"_ Red Eyes caught him by the shoulder, yanking him back up onto his feet. _"RUN! It won't hold him long!"_

_--and it won't, 'cause it weakens a monster and keeps it from going anywhere, but only a little and only for a short time and how the hell do I know that?_ Kaito swore as another chunk of debris landed squarely on his head, ducked beneath a stone lintel and followed Red Eyes around a twist of upward-climbing passage at a dead run. In the back of his head he was conscious of a nagging, niggling sense of dread; how HAD he known that? He could almost see the image from the spell in his head, black chains reaching up from a fierce golden glow of power—

_…I shouldn't know that…_

The thief shook the image off, concentrated on more important things (_RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!_) and kept moving. Behind them the thunder of falling rock increased, a background to the frustrated roars of the Serpent Night Dragon, Apep, howling for their blood.

* * *

"_Stop complaining. And hold still-- you are being a child."_ Rrrriiiip! Cloth tore.

"It HURTS, dammit! Ow! Leave me some skin, will you—_OW!"_ Kaito yanked his wrist back from the other's hands, nursing both his scraped skin and an injured look. "SOME of us don't have a fuzzy black Teflon coating, y'know…" The thief had had to slide through a gap in a side-tunnel that, while easily navigated by Red Eyes, had proved more than a little tight for his larger companion. "And some of us aren't so scrawny you'd need a microscope to find us with, either," he added a little smugly.

Crimson eyes glared, and a bandage was knotted with what was clearly unnecessary force. _"And some of us have enough basic intelligence than to shout taunts at dragons. I TOLD you that the Shadow Spell would only hold him for a brief time."_

Grumble, grumble; the thief shot him a sideways glare as he picked up the next strip of cloth (Kaito's white cloak was beginning to look as if it had been chewed on by wild Kuribou) and started on his other arm. _"Calling that creature an 'overgrown excuse for a gecko' was a remarkably bad idea. Do you EVER think before you speak?"_

"Yeah, well, if you had used a stronger card it couldn't've come after us like that. Man, I can't BELIEVE anything that can fly can dig that fast—"

Red Eyes tied another knot (also too tight). _"Perhaps you have a suggestion? For a rank amateur at the Game you have very strong opinions, Thief—"_ He sat back against the stone of the tiny alcove that they had taken refuge in; the side-tunnel that they had taken when the dragon had collapsed the tomb behind them was small and cramped.

Kaito attempted to rub dust out of his eyes. The two were both covered in debris, bruised by falling stones and sweat-soaked; at least _he_ was; who could tell with Mister Black-And-Blurry? Absentmindedly he picked at one of his bandages. "You could've… I dunno, maybe something more defensive? Spellbinding Circle or whatever…" The thief surreptitiously peeled open a knot, sliding down the bandage and checking; _Huh—not too bad. Least I probably won't get Tetanus. Can you get Tetanus in the Shadow Realm? Hell, it probably has its own card. Bubonic Plague does…_ He became aware that he was being watched and retied the knot, defiantly looser. "I know it's a one-shot, but you—what?" Red Eyes was giving him a Very Peculiar Look. Kaito glanced down. "My fly open or something?"

"…_When did you hear of the Spellbinding Circle?"_

"—Uhh—" He scowled, thinking. "Not sure. Maybe I saw it when we were looking through my ammo earlier…"

"_That could be, I suppose. And it is a good card, though it would be useless in this instance—"_

"What?" The thief sat straight up. "Why? It'd stop the damned thing in its tracks, wrap it up like a big fat scaly package with a bow on top, and you wouldn't even lose any energy—"

"—_and **how **did you know that, Thief?"_

Everything paused, while Kaito's mind abruptly scrabbled for an answer.

Red Eyes' stare was unblinking. _"Look through your 'ammo'; I doubt you'll find Spellbinding Circle there."_ He waited while Kaito (with a long-suffering air) pulled out the clip from his card-gun and thumbed through it, going slower and slower until he finally stopped at the end of the deck with a perplexed look. _"It's not there, is it? So TELL me, Thief: How did you know that?"_

A once-pristine glove tightened around the cards. "I… don't know," said Kaito, still scowling. "I just—_did._" He drew a deep breath, concentrating on vivid images that swam up from the back of his mind, unasked for and more than a little unnerving. "Like… I know about other things that could've maybe worked…" His voice trailed off as he stared into space.

"_Tell me."_

"I… Dragon's Bead, that'd send him back or at least make him stop coming after us for a few minutes… and Hammer Shot… and… is there really something called 'Compulsory Evacuation Device'?" Kaito gave Red Eyes an odd look. "Sounds like something you wouldn't want to meet in a doctor's office—" He sighed, leaning back against rough stone and closing his eyes for a moment. "I _know_ this stuff, but I don't know _how_ I know it, okay? It's in my head, and… I'd like it to go away. RIGHT NOW." Eyes still closed, he rubbed at his forehead. "The wings were cool, and the glowy thing on my hand is okay even though it was worth a big bunch of zip against the dragon, but I—don't like things messing with my head. _YOU_ may have enough room in yours for two of you to fit in, but I'm kind of an economy-apartment; I don't sub-let." Kaito opened his eyes again, and they were more than a little desperate. "Can we **_please_** fix this? 'Cause I don't think we've got time for me to have a nervous breakdown right now."

His companion sat silent for a little, thinking. Off in the distance, the muffled sound of the dragon's roars were beginning to lessen and grow more spaced apart; apparently it was getting discouraged. _"Do you feel any different than before?"_ Red Eyes asked; the dark voice was calm. _"And can you recall when you began knowing things in this manner? I will not lie to you; while this is potentially useful now, it may make it very difficult for you to leave this place when our Game ends. If the Shadow Realm is changing you into one of its creatures, it—"_

Dark blue eyes went very wide. "WHOA. I," he gritted his teeth, "am NOT some sort of—of—" (Red Eyes raised an eyebrow; he could tell) "—imaginary monster from a piece of paper! I'm real, dammit! Do I look like somebody made me up to use in a game?"

"_Do those roars sound like they're coming from an 'imaginary monster', Thief?"_

"…..no."

They each listened for a long, thoughtful moment to the dragon's distant howls.

Kaito's opponent hesitated, then brought out his deck. Shadowy fingers flipped through the so-called 'pieces of paper', drawing out a single card, and he held it up silently. The image was quite clear; it depicted a dramatic figure, hatted and cloaked, with a half-hidden face and a mysterious air. A full moon hung in the sky above; the colors were indigo and scarlet rather than white, but still—

Kaito closed his eyes yet again and then opened them. _"'Great Phantom Thief'"_ he read out loud from the tiny print. "Oh… _'Effect monster…'_ What's an 'effect monster? Doesn't look like a monster to me… _'Each time this card inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent's Life Points, declare the name of one card. Then see your opponent's hand and discard all copies of the declared card in his/her hand to the Graveyard.'"_ He swallowed hard. "It says it's—rare? A rare card? I'd damn well HOPE so… What's an AeyTeeKay? And a DeeEeeEff?"

"_You tell me,"_ said Red Eyes, watching carefully.

The thief could not take his eyes off the rectangle of cardboard; it filled his world, blotting out the fading draconic roars, the pain of his bruises and scrapes, the dusty air, even his fear… "It's how much damage I—it—can do;" his voice was distant; "and how well it can fight. He can fight. He. Me. _ME. _That's _me_ in there… I can _feel_ it. Like I'm in two places at once," Kaito said almost dreamily. He reached out, nearly touching before the other pulled the card back.

"_I don't think you want to do that,"_ murmured Red Eyes, _"not voluntarily, not if you ever wish to leave this place."_ He replaced the card, drawing out another one. _"There's this, too…"_ The new card showed a white-cloaked, white-hatted figure posing dramatically with crossed arms against a dark background, crescent moon gleaming nearby. _"'White Magical Hat.' There is a certain resemblance…"_

_This_ one brought a scowl. "He's wearing a blue suit. The other guy is too, but this is an _ugly_ blue suit. AND he's got a honkin' big nose and a moustache," muttered the thief indignantly, his momentary shakiness forgotten. "And humongous eyebrows. Oh sure, great hat and cloak and his gloves are white and _maaaaaaybe_ that's a monocle, but otherwise…" Kaito peered at the writing. _"'Effect monster'… 'When this card inflicts damage to your opponent's Life Points, one card must be discarded randomly from your opponent's Hand to the Graveyard'… _Weird. Doesn't sound like me and he's not as good at defense, is he? --Hang on, _'Common'_? Common? I am NOT freaking common! I'm famous! I'm an internationally wanted thief! Hell, I made Interpol's 'Hot Catches To Further Your Career' list last year! They put me on their _calendar,_ for crying out loud!"

Probably not too many people, Kaito thought a moment later, had ever heard Red Eyes laugh like that…

It was contagious, too. After their snickers had died down, they both sat back and looked at each other in the dim illumination of Kaito's flashlight (which he was beginning to worry about. The batteries wouldn't last _forever,_ after all.) "Okay," said the thief in a much calmer voice, "so you think I'm… what? In danger of being drafted? Can the Shadow Realm_ DO_ that to normal people?"

Red Eyes frowned; Kaito could almost see it. Was it his imagination, or was the blur of his face resolving itself a little more all the time into features? _"Not usually, but… I have brought opponents here many times before; we play, they lose…"_ The frown flickered momentarily into a smirk. _"And usually they return to the daylight world with me, in whatever state they happen to be in—sometimes they are merely insane or weakened, but if they've played for life-or-death stakes, they are dead. Shadow Games reveal a person's soul, and the stakes are usually high… It's a very rare game that results in their being left in this place." _Those red eyes took on a thoughtful gleam. _"Once, though, I divided a person's darkness from their self and left it here; I wonder what became of it?"_

Kaito blinked. "Their… darkness?" That didn't sound good— "You split somebody? Into two parts? You can do that?"

"_Mhmm. It was some time ago. Probably it has dissipated or been otherwise destroyed by now—and its owner is better off without it."_ The other shrugged offhandedly, dismissing the matter as unimportant.

_Oh Jeeze… _His companion swallowed hard. Every now and then he forgot that the whatever-he-was next to him wasn't exactly your average everyday person… Heh. (And come to think of it, though, what with shrunken/British detectives, teenaged witches, over-the-top cops and the occasional mad scientist, it was getting to be where he didn't know all that many 'average everyday persons' these days… Red Eyes damn well didn't fit 'average everyday' very well, did he? Urk. Not bloody likely. Kaito _really_ needed to get out more.)

"_In any case," _murmured the party in question without noticing the thief's trepidation in the slightest, _"you are still yourself; even when you were given temporary powers of flight, you remained the same person… though I'm not quite sure about your definition for 'normal people'. Never mind. In this you seem to be much the same; you are gaining, not losing."_ One smoky black shoulder lifted. _"If the change does not go much further beyond mere knowledge, I doubt that you'll be forced to stay… especially if you should happen to win."_

Kaito shot his companion a Look; the words 'as unlikely as that might be' were practically hanging in the air in big, glowing letters. _Riiiiiight. Don't count your Kuribou before they're—uh, pupped or hatched or dealt or… whatever. We'll see. I have an idea or two about that._ "Got it. Hey, you think using the cards'll make much of a difference from here on out? There was one I saw that I kind of wanted to try—"

Another shrug; from somewhere down the collapsed tunnel, a rattle of falling stones skittered through the darkness. Red Eyes knocked the back of his head against a protruding chunk of stone and winced (probably; it really was getting easier to tell). _"Which one? If it's a Monster or Beast Effect, I would not hazard it—"_

"Nope; you remember that one with all the hardware?" Kaito concentrated for a moment, delving into the images that were getting easier to reach every time he tried. "Uhh, let's see…. 'Seven Tools of the Bandit', yeah, that was the one… it's a—trap? A trap card? You use it to tinker with spells, knock 'em out of commission." Another rattle, nearer this time, made him look up and squint ineffectually into the darkness beyond their alcove; nothing visible. "Seems like it'll take a chunk of energy to use it, but it might come in handy." He grinned a little. "Cool little gadget; looks like a Swiss Army Knife with attitude." A third clatter made his grin die; a spark of worry woke to life in its place as he clipped the small flashlight to his belt, looking into the darkness again. "What _is_ that? You don't think the roof's coming down on us, do you?"

Red Eyes was also staring down through the broken slabs and boulders, and blurry or not, your basic Fight/Flight Response made a person's body-language pretty readable. _"Nothing that simple, I fear— Something is coming. Something small."_

"Small?" There were a _lot_ of small things that were bad… explosives, poisonous snakes, fish… bullets… really short detectives…

"_Small,"_ muttered the other, drawing his feet beneath him and rising to a crouch; Kaito did the same. _"Small, moving quickly… many somethings in large numbers. I'm not certain what—"_ He trailed off at the expression on his companion's face. _"Thief? You—"_

"**SHIT! SHITSHITSHIT!"**

"_What—?"_

One white-gloved hand grabbed at the other's arm as eyes flashed panicky-wide in the flashlight's glare. "Don'taskjust_**RUN**!"_

They ran.

Though really it was more of a scramble; the tunnel wasn't nearly as orderly as the others they had passed through—possibly used to bring in building materials or something similar, and the dragon's crashing attack hadn't been kind to its stability. It didn't matter, though, especially when a look back showed the reason behind the clattering sounds:

_Scarab beetles. _Dozens of them, hundreds of them, maybe thousands of them, pouring along the walls in a black many-legged flood, _clatter-skitter-clickclickclick, _mandibles sharp and glittering wickedly like tiny obsidian scalpels. One hand still clamped unconsciously on Red Eye's wrist, Kaito fumbled in his pockets for something useful even as they ran and stumbled and ran and staggered and ran and ran and ran and—

_**--FELL—**_

It wasn't a long drop, but that was only due to the thief's instinctive grab with his free hand; anyone who spends much of their time on a hang-glider becomes very familiar with the whole abstract _'Gravity Wins'_ concept and gets really good at _keeping_ it only an abstract and not a painful, brief reality…

Kaito looked down. "Good thing—aaargh—I was—still holding onto you, huh?" he panted. Then he looked down further… and further… and further…. "Whoa— Who the hell—put an elevator shaft—in a tomb?"

Dangling from the grip on his wrist, Red Eyes kept very still. _"It's called—a Well-- Can you pull me up?"_

"Hell NO I can't pull you up—who—dammit—who d'you think I—owww _shit_ my _hand_—am, Superman? Wait, got an—idea-- Can you grab my cloak?" The thief looked up; black insectoid bodies crowded the edge of the tunnel three meters or so above his sweating grip; there was no going back _that_ way, so— A tightness and shift of weight made Kaito swear as his fingers nearly slipped; Red Eyes had hold of his cloak with first one and then both hands, and he twisted slightly, the fingers of his free hand fumbling at the back of his belt for a small, folded piece of very important thievish equipment—

"—_GOT_ it!—"

THWACK! The small grapple shot from the tubular device that Kaito had tucked behind his wasteband, trailing a nylon cord; it soared up, curved, fell in a precise arc—and held, the line shuddering tense and strong from an aperture above a black gap in the stonework opposite where they had fallen from and only a dozen or so meters overhead. Sweating, the phantom thief let the grapple-gun fall and wrapped his free hand in the rope; below him he could feel Red Eyes cursing in what was probably Egyptian but could be Ancient Kurdish for all he knew, not that it mattered—

It wasn't easy; and it wasn't anything like in the movies, scaling a thin rope in near-darkness with evil little flesh-eaters chittering at you from one direction and a gaping abyss sucking at your feet from another. For one thing, in the movies you had a soundtrack playing as you climbed with an expression of Grim Manly Determination; for another, the Movie Heroes never seemed to worry about whether or not their grapples _really_ had caught on well enough for them to make it to the top… Nooo, they just climbed and climbed and sweated in a Movie Hero way and never felt themselves in near need of a new pair of pants after the experience. Sometimes Kaito really hated Movie Heroes. But then, thieves were supposed to be villains anyway, right?

Of course, it helped if you were a bona-fide phantom thief. Ropes were second nature when you spent a fair chunk of your time dangling upside down while you planned your escape from the cops in one creative way or another. Ropes couldn't exactly be classified as 'easy' but they weren't nearly as hard as, say, playing Tic-Tac-Toe on the back of a giant killer whale or fighting off zombies with a human thighbone and a handful of possessed cards.

…or turning into some sort of creepy Shadow Realm whatsit, for that matter. _Nnngh… Think about that later, Thief Boy. You've got bigger problems right here and now. _He spared a glance for the beetles; they waved angry, sharp-edged feelers in his and Red Eyes' general direction but seemed disinclined to scale the stonework after them. Bastards were probably going to go off and eat an archaeologist or something. _Sucks to be you, Indiana,_ Kaito thought a little hysterically as he pulled himself up a bit further.

More curses in an unknown tongue were scalding the air below; Red Eyes was having difficulties. With a sigh, the kaitou hooked one leg around his lifeline, twisted the rope in a certain fashion around an ankle and a knee, and flipped as gently as possible to dangle upside down. "You okay down there?" he asked the startled pair of red glows that were now almost directly opposite his face.

"_!"_ Twin dark hands gripped the rope desperately as feet kicked at thin air. The thief carefully did not touch him; the last thing you wanted to do was to disturb a climber's handholds, no matter what. _"—I—how can you—DO that?"_

"I'm a thief, remember?" Kaito shrugged, pushing his bunched-up cloak back absentmindedly while he thought. "We're good with ropes and ladders and escapes in general—we have to be. Look, you've got to stop wasting your energy and shaking the rope like that; let your legs dangle, okay? Put everything into your hands and your arms and just pull yourself along." He hesitated. "It's kind of like swimming, really; if your legs are useless you don't use 'em, you just let 'em trail along in the water—" Kaito waved his arms above/below his head in example, still dangling securely.

"_This—gnngh!—is no time—to be talking about—swimming!"_

"Yeah, yeah, whatever…" The thief hitched himself a little further up by his ankles, watching closely as his companion pulled himself along grip by grip. "That's it, keep going! Hey—you don't weigh twice as much just 'cause there's two of you in there, do you?"

"—_no—"_ A shadowy fist found another grip a little higher up.

Kaito scratched at his hair; hanging upside down made very little difference in how it stuck out at this point. "Good, 'cause that'd suck big time. Look, I'm going on ahead; if there's a good way for me to belay the rope and haul you up, I'll let you know, okay?" Twisting around in an improbable fashion, he caught the rope at the back of one knee and flipped himself upright, hauling his body strongly hand-over-hand. As he passed the hoard of clicking, feeler-waving insects, he shuddered; ropes were great, ropes were fine, mysterious black corridors leading into who knows where were fine, anything to get away from man-eating Scarab Beetles…

Man, he was NEVER, EVER going to watch _'The Mummy'_ again. And somehow he didn't think that fish were going to look quite as scary as they had when he got back, what with zombies, dragons and bugs. That was kind of a plus, wasn't it?

Ten grueling minutes later had him pulling up the rope (carefully tied to a sturdy protrusion) and hauling Red Eyes over the neatly-stoneworked edge of a tunnel a little higher and opposite the way they had so precipitously come. It was interesting, thought Kaito as he grabbed his companion by what felt like one of several belts and yanked, how the dim glow of his flashlight seemed to sink into the other's blackness without illuminating anything and yet showed two really clear shadows on the rock of the floor…

Silhouettes could tell you a lot. And there just _couldn't_ be too many people with hair that stuck up like _that,_ now could there? He looked like a humanoid version of Sonic the Hedgehog with bed-head—

_Never mind; survive now, think about it later. Get moving!_

This corridor was better built than the last had been—why? Who knew? It sloped upwards at a shallow angle, undecorated stonework blocks smoothly fitted together. The two made their way upwards in silence, occasionally pausing to listen for sounds of pursuit. Twists, turns and several flights of stairs later…

"OOF!"

"_Push harder—"_

"I AM pushing harder! YOU push harder! If you weren't so damned scrawny—"

"_Shut up and—nngh!—put you back into it, Thief!"_

"—Why the—hell did—aaaargh—anybody dump a—big block of—stone here anyway? RRRRRRGH!"

"_It was supposed—that's my hand, watch out—to deter thieves—"_

"Well," said the kaitou, slumping back against the wall and breathing hard, "it's doing a great job. What'll we do now?"

The tunnel had come to an abrupt end, flat against the blank face of a slab of stone. You could see how it had been slid into place by the grooves around it; obviously, fitting such a huge piece of granite into the tunnel like a cork into a particularly snug bottle was a fantastic architectural achievement—way to go, Shadow Realm architects—but just at the moment neither Kaitou nor Red Eyes felt much like admiring their work.

Mostly because the damned thing was in the way. And it wasn't budging.

Kaito wiped a trickle of sweat from his forehead with the back of one tattered glove, bringing away a thick skim of grime in the process. "You got any ideas here? I'm fresh out." Red Eyes was moodily flipping through his deck by now (his equivalent of drumming his fingers) and the thief pulled out the mixed pack of cards from his pocket. "What've you got?" He flipped through his own batch, making a face; somehow he doubted that _'Needle Ceiling'_ or _'Tribute To The Doomed'_ would be of much help at the moment.

Red Eyes hmphed. _"'Gravekeeper's Servant'… 'The Dark Door'… none of these will work—wait." _With a flick of a wrist, he drew a card. _"'Secret Pass to the Treasures'"_ he murmured, glancing at his companion. _"That should appeal to you, I'd think."_ Soundlessly he took a seat on the floor, back to the wall, staring at the card. _"Although I'm not quite certain where we'll end up—"_

Kaito flipped through the mental card-index that seemed to have formed in his brain; the bright picture of torch-bearing tomb-explorers peering through a concealed entrance flickered before his mind's eye. He focused internally, reading words from a screen only he could see: "Uh-- you… pick a monster? And it can—what does 'attack your opponent's life points directly' mean in real language?"

Red Eyes stretched his indistinct black length once, joints cracking; he flowed to his feet, holding up the card in two thin fingers. _"In a duel, each duelist begins with a set amount of life points—energy, you could say. If used during a duel, the chosen monster can lower that energy directly in its holder's rival. Here? I would need to choose a creature, set the card into play, and allow it to find us a way out of our dilemma—something it should be able to do, according to the rules of the Game."_

"Cool," enthused the other, settling his monocle more firmly in place. "Go for it! What kind of monster are you gonna pick?"

Red Eyes did not answer directly at first, merely fixing him with an almost amused crimson stare. It took a moment for realization to sink in…

"_OH _hell no. I am NOT a monster! OR a guinea pig! Try it on yourself, why don't you? You're the expert here." The thief crossed his arms and glared at the other, who shrugged.

"_I can't try it on myself; I'm the holder of the card. Cards can only be played on monsters or—"_

"—and since when did I start looking like a monster?"

"—_or other denizens of the Shadow Realm, or on one's opponents or allies during a Shadow Game. And this is a Shadow Game if ever there was one… and do you have a better idea, Thief? If you do, then—what is the term I've heard used? Ah; 'Put up or shut up'."_ As Kaito sputtered in irritation, a wave of violet washed through the ruby eyes directed at his, and his companion seemed to wince. _"….. I've been told that that was very rude, by the way. But perhaps you see my point? We can't stay where we are—and as you pointed out earlier, you ARE a thief, and therefore you are good at escapes."_

The son of Kuroba Toichi grimaced at the taste of his own words; they never were as good the second time around, were they? "Okay, okay, point taken. It's just—aaah, shit. Fine. Do it." He had time to think _Wonder if this'll hurt?_ as the other nodded, stepping forward to place the card firmly against his forehead.

"_Secret Pass to the Treasures!"_

"Do you have to call it out and all? You sound like a Magical Girl in the middle of a _henge_ scene," muttered Kaito as he closed his eyes and braced himself for…

…a whole lot of nothing in particular. He opened his eyes. "Huh? I didn't feel anything—"

"_You glowed," _said Red Eyes almost accusingly.

"I did?"

"_You did."_ The shadowy figure watched him carefully. _"Look around; do you see anything new?"_

"Mmmmm… nooo…." Unclipping the small flashlight from his belt, Kaito frowned and glanced around the walls. Nothing new, no… "What am I supposed to be looking for?" He hesitated; it wasn't that he felt any _different,_ exactly, he just—it was like something had changed, something significantly weird and yet really, really familiar, so familiar that he couldn't quite lay a finger on it— He scowled, raising his hat with one hand while scratching at his hair beneath it in puzzlement: what the hell WAS it? He—

…he was wearing his hat. He was _wearing_ his _hat._ The one he had lost back on the rooftop… With exaggerated care (and the full expectation of finding something nasty nesting inside), Kaito removed the object in question and examined it. Nothing unusual…

"_It's clean,"_ murmured Red Eyes. _"No tears, no soiling, no burns… and so is the rest of your clothing. I'd say that the card has had more than the expected effect, wouldn't you?"_

Ohhh…. Kuroba Kaito blinked, looking down. As best as he could tell in the dim light, the other was perfectly right; his cloak was whole, the rips and marks of soot, salt-water, blood and other little souvenirs of his trip through the Shadow Realm had vanished like the stock of a chocolate shop the day before Valentine's.

_Holy shit. I've been dry-cleaned and I didn't even notice. I've always wondered what 'martinizing' was…_ "And this has happened why?" he asked, examining the hat all over again; his little gadgets and toys all seemed to be there—

Red Eyes was leaning back against the heavy stone block rather nonchalantly, arms crossed. _"I'd invite you to recall that there was a card by the name of 'White Magical Hat',"_ he said dryly. _"As I remember, the 'Passage' card can only affect a monster with 1000 attack-points or less; that would be why you have been cast into that rolé. And the 'Passage' card allows you to affect the energy—the life points—of the Game directly. The 'Hat' card states that when you inflict this damage, a creature from the Game's arsenal will be slain."_

"…Really? So why didn't I end up as the 'Great Phantom Thief' card, huh? Why the 'Hat' card? Not that I'm complaining, but you'd think I'd be a dead ringer for the other guy. Why the big deal about my hat?" Kaito smoothed out the folds of his cloak, replacing his hat. Weird freaky Shadow Realm thingie or not, it damn well felt good to have it back on—

"_You HAVE been missing it, have you not?"_ pointed out his opponent logically. _"The Game plays us, but it has to follow its own rules; they are Natural Law here. You wanted your hat back… and so, given the opportunity, you got it. Now, about the 'Passage' card, I'd suggest you take a closer look at the corridor wall."_

"Why? It's just a wall," said the thief a touch grumpily. He leaned one hand on a slab. "It's not like it's going to—"

**_CRACKLE..._** Tiny, delicate little lightnings crawled across the stone from Kaito's gloved fingers. With a grinding noise, the stone sank in; and with architectural reluctance blocks shuffled sideways, revealing a narrow aperture. There were stairs leading up.

"—Y'know, I think I hate you."

Red Eyes bowed, the gleam of a sharp grin flashing clear for a moment in the shadows of his face. _"Truly? How sad. After you, Thief."_

Stone ground closed behind them, and empty darkness filled the corridor once more.

* * *

"Whoever taste-tests the coffee for vending machine companies should be publicly flogged," growled Kaiba Seto as he grimaced over the tongue-shriveling burn of his seventh cup for the night—

--or the early morning, actually, considering what the readout in the bottom corner of his laptop said. The CEO rubbed at his eyes and attempted to focus.

At least the Convention Center lobby furniture was relatively comfortable.

_Click-click-clickitty-clack-type-type-type-type…_

"Ni-sama? How much longer do you think we'll have to wait? I'm (yawn) kind of tired…"

His brother closed a file. "No idea, but I doubt it'll take much longer. I've already contacted several of the staff in the conference room with Nakamori via email; they'll let us know when our absent 'guests' arrive back, so go to sleep if you want." Kaiba Corporation employees were issued cell-phones with net capability as part of their benefits-package. "There's no reason for both of us to stay awake."

"Mmph." A tousled, black-haired head leaned against the elder Kaiba's shoulder. "I hope that Phantom Thief guy's okay. And Yuugi-kun too."

Kaiba Seto glanced up from his display; the screen showed a complete map of the Convention Center, with notes here and there reading things like _'trip-wire firecrackers (6 strings)'_ and _'time-delay trigger';_ the two brothers had been very busy. "You do? I could care less about Mutou, but why would you be concerned about the thief's good health? I would have thought…" he trailed off, frowning.

His younger brother yawned again, eyes slipping closed. "'Cause… it'd be a shame to have wasted all that work. And 'sides, I want to see our traps go off." He settled further into his place on the couch.

"Ahh." That made perfect sense.

_Tappity-tap-tap-tap--_ The elder Kaiba sibling added a note reading _'Pressure-plates—watch out for incendiaries'_ in the Center's main hall; the sound of his typing was tiny against the vast silence of a large building with very few people in it. Satisfied, he readied several remote macro-commands, set their links, saved the file and closed it. "That should do it," he murmured.

"Y'should sleep too, then… They're not going anywhere…" A sleepy voice murmured, and the CEO allowed the smile that he reserved solely for Mokuba to flicker across his face.

His brother kept him sane. Well… as sane as he was ever going to be, anyway. And he was right; a short nap would do no harm. Setting his computer's volume control on 'earsplitting' to catch email alerts, he relaxed back into the lobby couch's embrace.

Mokuba was right as well about not wanting to see their work wasted; he was quite looking forward to reaping the benefits of their hours of work. Who could have known that setting traps, pitfalls, snares, ambushes and ruses could be so entertaining? Kaiba Seto's cold blue eyes slowly closed as he considered the surprises that he and his brother had in store for the thief when he returned.

He _really_ hated thieves. He wasn't quite certain why, but he did.

Traps… Kaiba was good with Trap Cards within duels, though he preferred to overwhelm with power rather than to capture with cunning. Of course, the Duel Arena was his preferred ground in which to face any opponent, but when you got right down to it, Trap Cards could only blow up holographic creatures. There was a certain something to be said for _real_ explosives.

'Boom', for instance.

Almost smiling, the head of Kaiba Corporation slept.

_**

* * *

**_

To be continued…

_**Ysabet's Notes:** Yegods, but that was a long chapter. Where to start? Let's see: Cards actually played in this chapter were Monster Reborn (I borrowed the ankh), Shadow Spell, White Magical Hat (heh heh) and Secret Pass to the Treasures. Only one game instead of the more-than-one I had planned, but that's just the way it happened; lots more character development instead, and I just HAD to bring the dragon and the scarab beetles in like that and they took up more room than I planned on. Many thanks to Dogmatix for helping with Egyptian tomb research (and if y'all haven't seen the Theban Mapping Project website, go take a look (google it); man, is it impressive! LOTS of kudos to everybody who helped me one night when I was trying to find ancient Egyptian swear-words; so far as I can tell, 's'tha' means roughly the equivalent of 'shit'. At least, I hope it does…_

_I just picked up a new laptop. The fact that I've named it 'Thoth' tells you a lot about how much Egyptian research I've been doing lately, doesn't it?_

_Next time: More games (hopefully two of the remaining three, possibly all three); facedowns with the Night Serpent Dragon; and some very odd location for duels…_

_**OKAY. Now keep in mind that THIS IS AN OMAKE. It won't happen in the story, it isn't part of the plot, and I just had to write the damned thing because something that my friend Po'e said during chat mostly fried my brain-cells. This omake assumes that poor Kaito has gotten his ass stuck in the Shadow Realm and is doing his best to make do, but things aren't going QUITE as planned. And btw, I have a third one aready in the works; it belongs to Snickerer. Anybody else want one? Can't guarantee it, but you can always ask… **_

**_Omake Dinner Theater II (for Po'e, 'cause it's her fault): Six Montrhs Later: All's Fair in Love and (Especially) War…_**

It was a good day for Hakuba Saguru. A very, very good day, in fact.

He moved through the crowded halls, his half-European good looks and fair hair drawing the occasional interested or admiring glance. Not that this place didn't have its share of foreigners, of course; the Kaiba Corporation Semi-Annual Duelist Competition was well-publicized and full of contestants from every corner of the globe. Good ones; you didn't enter an international multi-level Duel without being at least top-notch on a local level.

Not that he was worried… not with his Ace in the Hole. Or, he smirked to himself, more correctly the Ace in his pocket—

The young detective reached into said coat-pocket and drew out the aforementioned Ace… only to be immediately greeted by a tiny, slightly muffled voice. _"—and godDAMMit, Hakuba, why'd you have to put me next to the Malignant Nuzzler? She keeps GROPING me!"_

Oh, yes; it was a good, good day for Hakuba Saguru. He congratulated himself on taking up Duel Monsters as a hobby; recreation was quite important to keep one's personality on an even keel, wasn't it? All the best psychological journals said so. He smirked.

"Keep your voice down, Kuroba. _Some_ people," remarked the detective as he ran a covetous fingertip along the edge of his deck, "would've learned their lesson about talking in public by now, you'd think. You don't want to end up next to the Screaming Skull again, do you?"

"…_No. I'd rather be groped by the Nuzzler than by a zombie, thanks so very much, even if she does need to trim her nails. The Skull's got WAY cold hands." _A muted scratching noise issued from the deck, as of an enchanted someone shifting uncomfortably inside an enchanted card until they found a better enchanted position. _"Keep me away from the Lady of Faith, though, will you, Hakuba?"_

"Why?" The blond half-Britisher smiled smugly to himself as he scanned the tournament screens; four more levels to go until he hit the finals, but he had no doubt whatsoever that he'd make it. "She looks to be a very lovely, calm lady in her picture…"

"_She cheats."_

"Pardon?"

"_Yeah, at cribbage. And Parcheesi and chess. And checkers. AND at Sennet. And let me tell you, Sennet is a bitch to learn anyway, and when you realize halfway through your fifth game that somebody's figured out how to cheat at it, you just KNOW you're gonna be washing dishes in the BEWD Corp Café kitchens for the next two weeks if you want to eat regular meals…"_

The detective frowned, noting the name 'Kaiba Seto' two ranks above him. Why did that sound familiar? Never mind; he'd meet up with him eventually if he was any good at the game… "You aren't playing cards? I would have thought— and don't the other players complain when she cheats?"

There was a miniscule jeering sound, sort of like you'd get from a mouse with a sense of sarcasm. _"'Cards.' Riiiiight. How would YOU like to play a game involving the corpses of your dead relatives? And cheating's considered an art-form in the Shadow Realm. I mean, they can't do it out there, can they?"_ The miniaturized thief snickered. _"You wouldn't believe some of the tricks I've picked up from the Black Magician. Now _there's _a guy who knows how to win a game, down and dirty with no holds barred… Nice guy, though I think he's been smoking something funny between zapping monsters in some Domino City geek's after-school games and making stir-fried Kuribou for Saturday-night potluck at the Celtic Guardian's place . Good at chemistry—I mean 'alchemy'—too; there's this thing he showed me where you can make a smoke-bomb that dyes people's hair and skin the most unbelievable colors, and when I get out of here I am SO gonna try that one out… " _There was a brief moment of silence. _"Speaking of which—Uh, Hakuba?"_

"Yes?" purred the detective, checking his watch against the tournament schedule. He had been expecting this.

"…_when _are_ you going to let me out, anyway? You've had your fun, right? Just talk to Koizumi and she'll think of some way to make me human again, I'm sure of it. –You ARE gonna let me out, aren't you? Aren't you? --Hakuba you bastard you had goddamn **BETTER** LET ME **OUT** OF HERE—"_

"Hmmmmm?" He wasn't smiling—well, perhaps he was, but he wasn't being overly smug about it, was he? Not _TOO_ smug, not really, not for someone who had managed to finally catch the elusive 1412 when no-one else had managed to do so (even if the process _had_ involved paying an exorbitant price at a particular game-shop in Domino City. Money well spent, however.) "What was that, Kuroba? I don't think I understood a word of what you just said. The lack of 'please' seems to be affecting my hearing these days…"

The string of expletives that exploded from the deck in his hand showed that the Kid had been learning things besides how to cheat at games and make new smoke-bombs. They descended into a whine: _"—totalsoneofabitchjustHAStogloat—"_ and the detective tuned it out as he began to slide the deck back into a coat-pocket. _"WAIT! HAKUBA—"_

He paused.

"—_please?"_

Smirk. "Please 'what', Kuroba-kun?"

"_WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA LET ME OUTTA HERE PLEASE GODDAMMIT? I. WANT. OUT! OUTOUTOUT! Please. Thank you. "_

The blond chuckled to himself, glancing up as the crowd began moving towards the entrances to the dueling arenas. "Ah. Well. **_That_ **depends entirely on how you perform in the next few rounds. If we win? I'll consider it. If we lose, though… I should look into permanent employment in those kitchens you mentioned; you'll need it." He gave one last cursory glance at the schedules. "It seems that my next opponent is one Jounouchi Katsuya; I've heard of him, and he favors the use of his Red Eyes Black Dragon card. How are you against dragons, Kuroba?" Without waiting for an answer he slid the deck back into his pocket, following the crowd in through the doors.

"…_Dragons?" _a tiny voice moaned from his pocket. _"DRAGONS? Oh hell, not **again**….. Hakuba? Hakuba? Listen, this is REALLY important, you have freaking got to get me out of here right now, because those damned things hold grudges and Oohh Shit I really wish I hadn't listened to Kung Fu Master's idea about ransacking his cave, 'cause he's gonna toast my— Hakuba? Hey, Hakuba? Are you listening out there? Hakuba--?"_

The blond detective buttoned the flap of his coat pocket firmly over the sound of tiny, frantic, pleading. "Just consider it an incentive to succeed, Kuroba," he murmured, settling into his seat as the first pair of duelists began.

"**_#$ INCENTIVE!"_** came the muffled reply.

Yes; definitely a good day, all things considered. "Shhhh," he said softly, eyes on the arena as the hologram-projectors hummed into life. "First round's starting."

"_Aaaaargh! Dammit, Hakuba!"_

Of course, he _WOULD_ let him out eventually. Eventually. Before the next school term started, definitely. But there was a rather large amount of prize money to be won on the tournament circuit first…

_**-Owari-**_


	6. A Run of Luck And Other Things

**_Chapter 6: A Run of Luck (and Other Things)  
_**_**By Ysabet**_

The long, dark stairway threaded up and up and up through cold, silent stone, a thin gap reaching like the hand of a dead man towards the world of the living. Grim and unornamented, the steps rose one after the other steeply; no sound other than two pairs of footfalls broke the—

"'Dos—a beeeeer—a Mexican beeeeer—'"

--broke the silence of the tomb. The only illumination came from one tiny flashlight held in a shaking hand, which—

"'Raaaaay, the guy who buys the beeeer----'"

--which barely lit the edges of mortar and cut stone. Sand had drifted here and there, and dust filled the—

"'Me! the guy! who drinks the beeeer--- Faaaar, a long way to the joooooohnnnnnn-----'"

--filled the—oh, nevermind…

"_Do you HAVE to keep DOING that?"_

"Yeah, I do, I'm bored. ---Oh _c'mon,_ man, sing along with me, the acoustics in here are GREAT!"

"_I do not 'sing along', Thief. And where did you LEARN that—that—and I am stretching my grasp of language here—that song?"_

Laughter. "From an American exchange student at my school. English is easier to learn if you listen to their music. And if you don't wanna sing, let your other self do it— Where'd I stop at, anyway? Oh yeah--" (deep breath) "'Sooooo I think I'll have a beeeeeeeeeeeer--- Laaaaaaaaaah, la-la-la-la-la-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah—'"

"………………_.." _There was a sudden, triangular golden flash against blackness.

"'—Teeeeee? No thanks, I'll have a beeeeeer— And that brings us back to Dos! Dos! Dos! Dos!---'"

"_Umm… how did the first bit go again, Thief-san?"_

"Oh, hi! It's like this: 'Dos, a beer, a Mexican beer—' You know, Dos Equis? And the next part is 'Ray, the guy who buys the beer—'"

"_Isn't 'Re' an Egyptian god or something?"_

"Who cares? Let's just sing."

The two voices drove the shadows away as they sang anything-but-tunefully, echoing up the narrow staircase towards the opening high above. And there _was_ an opening; they could both smell the sweetness of fresh air filtering down, touched with scents other than dust and the spices of burial. Music (or something at least remotely similar, in the key of God Awful) helped them climb, pushed away the exhaustion, kept them going one step after another after another after another and another and another…

"_Do you know any other songs?"_

"In English? Tons; d'you know the theme-song to _'Gilligan's Island'?"_

"_! My Jiisan likes that one! We've watched the reruns late at night! 'Juuuuust sit right back and you'll hear a taaaaaaaaale'—"_

"'—A tale of a fateful trip! that started from this tropic port—'"

'—_aboard this tiny ship! The mate was a mighty sailing maaaan, the skipper brave and suuuuuuure—'"_

The song made it through two and a half repetitions before they had to pause at the last half-dozen steps. "About time," muttered the thief beneath his breath. "Hang on a sec—" From one pocket he drew a small metal rod about the size of a cigarette that telescoped out into a meter-long probe; up above the edge of the gap went Kaito's cherished white hat on the probe, and the two held their breaths, waiting for God only knew what…

Nothing. Silence for the most part, a faint whisper of a breeze. The smell of water—

--and suddenly all the phantom thief could think about was how thirsty he was. And hungry. Really, really hungry. The last thing he could recall eating had been… stuff from the snack bar in a convention center that felt (and probably was) _infinitely_ far away, both in space and time. How the hell long had it been, anyway? "Hey— you don't have a watch, do you?" Kaito settled his hat back on his head.

"_If I did, I couldn't read it,"_ pointed out Purple Eyes reasonably. _"And anyway, time passes differently here." _Violet flashed against blackness as a blurred face turned up towards the opening. _"Want me to go first?"_ Without waiting for an answer, the other slipped past.

"!—"

"_Hello? Is anybody out there?"_ called the hopeful voice; jeeeeeze, if Red Eyes was a sarcastic, sharp-tempered bastard, his 'other self' was way too trusting… However, the lack of a response (up to and including sharp teeth/weapons/fire/evil monsters/an artillery barrage) had Kaito following cautiously behind as his opponent climbed out of the hole and onto the surface.

That tantalizing breath of sweet air again, the tang of water, and something else: _food._ That was the first thing the thief was aware of; sight came second, and he slowly looked around.

A… city?

Not a modern Japanese city, no, or even an American or European one; but those were buildings and walls, and there were fields over there-- too small to be a city, but… a village, maybe?

_Yeah! Civilization! Woooohooooo! _

Slowly the kaito pulled himself from the narrow opening in the ground; everything was sort of drab mud-colored beneath the Shadow Realm's starless, moonless sky, but… yeah, it looked sort of like… oh. _OH._ Right! Arabic, or Egyptian, or—one of those middle eastern places, the kind that looked pretty much the same now as they had a thousand years ago. That figured. It sprawled before them like a drab brown handprint against the dust and stones of the desert, and everything was mud-colored because it _was_ mostly made out of mud-bricks; there were palm trees growing here and there beside the main wall and throughout the village, and the fields outside were low and sort of swampy-looking, with irrigation ditches dividing everything up neatly and…

…and where were the people? There were torches here and there outside buildings; he could see lights through narrow windows too. But where was everybody?

Kaito listened, hard.

Nothing; lots of nothing. Silence, only wind and somewhere a trickle of water that tried to yank him by the throat straight towards it. No voices, not a whisper or a shout, not even the muted restless mutter you got in a place where everybody was asleep; nothing but the breeze through the palm fronds…

"_Lights on, nobody home…"_ whispered Purple Eyes. The sound of his voice was shockingly loud against the silence.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And, back in the Real World, just to bring everyone up to the same point in time:

Inspector Nakamori Ginzo paced in his locked conference room like a badge-toting lion in a carpeted cage, chewing on his moustache and plotting hitherto-unheard-of things to do to International Criminal 1412, i.e., the Kaitou Kid. He had a few ideas about one Kaiba Seto as well.

The aforementioned Kaiba Seto slept the light sleep of the easily-awakenable on one of the lounge couches, with his younger brother propped against his side, dreaming for some odd reason of tuna, tons and tons of it.

Outside the Convention Center, a small group of extremely bored teenagers had found a reasonably comfortable spot to wait for a certain absent duelist and were currently slumped on each other's shoulders, fast asleep, except for one who was still fuming about his missing Red Eyes Black Dragon card.

All present and accounted for? Good…..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_I wouldn't do that if I were you,"_ commented Purple Eyes, his voice drifting down from the rocks. Kaito halted, dripping hands halfway to his mouth. _"I mean… if this is really like Egypt, then there's leeches in the irrigation ditches. And other things. And a LOT of, umm, natural fertilizer from cows and... My Jiisan told me."_

"LEECHES?" The thief dropped the double handful of water and leaped back as if he had been burned. Fish were bad, but leeches—he wiped his hands hastily on his cloak. "Note To Self: Giant thief-eating vampiric leeches in the water, do NOT drink. End of note."

Soft laughter, as Purple Eyes moved silently down across the rocks to stand beside the thief. _"I don't know if there's any giant ones, but I still wouldn't drink the water. There might be a well in the village, though… I'm thirsty too. AND hungry."_

"You said it. Man Does Not Live By Cards Alone."

They had come out a little above the main walls, halfway down a rocky hillside. The tomb-staircase's exit had been cleverly concealed behind a rise of boulders, and they had used every bit of concealment that the harsh landscape afforded as they worked their way down towards the habitations below. Surveillance, however, had told them both the same thing over and over again: the village was deserted……or inhabited by an invisible population. Kaito had remarked at that point that he wouldn't rule out anything, all things considered; Purple Eyes had just nodded vigorously.

And now…

The entrance to the village was ungated; it looked like every Indiana Jones film that Kaito had ever seen, plus a large helping of the subtitled version of the _Stargate_ movie minus the Go'auld (or at least he damn well hoped so; snakes… why did it have to be snakes?) No dogs barked; no voice called out, asking who they were as the two slipped silently in, following the narrow, dusty streets towards what looked like some sort of square or common up ahead, with—the thief squinted through the dark—a well?

A well it was. Leech-free, too.

Ten glorious thirst-quenching, face-splashing, dust-washing-off minutes later had them perched, dripping, on a bench beside the well; Kaito had just watched his companion up-end half a bucket of water over his indistinct black head and then shake like a dog (the negative corona that was supposedly his hair was drooping, but only a little) and was still grinning. _"It felt good,"_ said the other defensively. The thief only snickered.

"Okay, now what d—uh, hello?" Purple Eyes had suddenly dropped the bucket. "What's wrong?" …and the thief was talking to a blurry black pair of shoulderblades as the other charged from the square towards one of the buildings lining the street. Looking furtively around for zombies/dragons/scarab-beetles (Man, the list was just growing, wasn't it?), Kaito followed. "—Oh" Right; whatever else Red Eyes/Purple Eyes might be, there was some teenager mixed in there somewhere; nobody gravitated towards food like a teenager, and the other had parked his indistinct dark form in front of some sort of—bakery? It _smelled_ like a bakery, a low-tech one, and there were cloth-wrapped platters on tables and shelves… "We're not gonna get in trouble for this, are we?" asked the thief dubiously, scratching his damp hair and recalling tales of what happened when you ate things in fantastic worlds; there was that myth about Persephone and the pomegranate seeds and all— "I mean, if we eat food here we aren't going to be _stuck_ or anything, right?"

Purple Eyes paused for a second as he lifted a cloth from a wooden tray; there was that odd golden flash again, and scarlet glanced back at him over one shoulder. _"There should be no problem. The question is, what shall we leave behind in payment?"_

Red Eyes hated thieves; right.

They settled on a handful of change from Red Eyes' mysterious pockets, two pencils and a plastic comb; apparently even Shadowy Magical Jewelry Guardians needed hair-care. Kaito contributed three silk handkerchiefs of varying colors, a toy gyroscope and five glass marbles (the non-exploding kind). The things in the trays proved to be something similar to Middle Eastern pita bread, chewy and sourish but tasting like heaven after who-knew-how-many-hours without anything at all; they pigged out shamelessly, sprawling on the ground beside the well.

Brushing crumbs from his jacket, the phantom thief cracked his knuckles and winced a little; _Nothing like a climb up a rope in the dark to screw with your hands,_ he thought, beginning a series of finger exercises designed to stretch the muscles. Beside him, Red Eyes watched with interest as he walked a 5-yen piece across the back of one hand and down one sleeve only to appear out the other cuff; Kaito sent the coin spinning into the air, adding two and then three more to join it as it flickered around and around in a glittering metallic arc.

"_You're good at that; why?" _asked the other curiously, taking a bite from his last piece of bread. _"I wouldn't think that juggling would be a necessary skill for a thief, would it?"_

A fifth coin joined the others; gloved white hands moved almost absently, changing patterns one after the other: cascade, shower, figure-8… "It's something my dad started teaching me when I was a kid," he answered, eyes fixed on his coins. "I do it to keep my fingers limber, and, well, because it's fun. And because when I do it, I remember him—"

"_Memory is important,"_ said Red Eyes; his voice was distant as he turned the piece of bread over in ink-black fingers. _"Without memory, there is nothing of the past left in this world… only tumbled stones and meaningless symbols. Not even names. When you recall your father, do you remember his name?"_

Around and around went the coins. "Always. I remember who he was, what he did, how he sounded… tricks he taught me, silly jokes he told me to make me laugh, things like that. He was a thief and a magician, and so am I. I'm my father's son." The words were almost defiant; catching the coins in his hand one after another, Kaito glanced sideways at the other. "I know, I know, you don't like thieves…"

Red Eyes shrugged, the movement almost lost in the dark. _"I suppose that some thieves aren't as bad as others. At least you seem to care about the things that you steal."_ The thin fingers turned over the piece of bread again, almost as if it were a coin to be juggled, a card to be dealt. _"There is another thief that I know, one who steals bodies and souls. In comparison, you are almost… benign."_

Kaito blinked. "'Benign'? Gee, thanks; I feel so loved… Anyway-- where d'you think the next game'll be?"

A dark finger pointed at the dirt between them in answer.

"Oh…"

The Tic-Tac-Toe diagram was, even as they watched, drawing itself; and _damned_ if that wasn't creepy, even after zombies and everything. Watching fingertip-wide lines just—just dig themselves into the dirt with no visible cause was just wrong. _Breathe, Kaito, breathe… it's just more Shadow Realms weirdness,_ he told himself, trying to edge away without actually moving. _It won't bite you. Well, not unless you lose, that is._

Swell… Well, at least this was better than sitting way underground in a tomb—or riding on a giant killer whale—or duking it out on a grave—or-- lots of things, really. Yeah. "Who went first last time?"

No jeweled game-markers for _this_ game; instead, they drew their Xs and Os in the dirt with their fingertips, and, remarkably, they didn't seem inclined to drift this time. It made the game much shorter than most of them had been.

It did not, however, lend itself towards allowing Kaito to win_. "Game over,"_ murmured Red Eyes as he drew a line through his three Os. He climbed to his feet and stepped back away from his opponent, giving him room.

"Well, _shit."_

The thief closed his eyes resignedly, staying right where he was; if the Shadow Realm wanted to suck his energy out like—like a Giant Egyptian Irrigation-Ditch Leech, it could damn well do it with him sitting down. At least he wouldn't have far to go when he fell over… On cue, the wind began to pick up; it howled through the empty streets, raising dust-devils that towered briefly and faded, sending a stinging wave of wind-driven sand to batter at the two by the well—

And— Kaito clenched his fists, kept his eyes closed, and waited—

And_— …? Get it over with, dammit!_—

--and—

--and… that was _all?_

_Bwah?_ Kuroba Kaito cautiously opened his eyes as the wind died down; his initial thought (that he had somehow broken the Shadow Realm and was going to get in trouble for it) seemed fairly improbable, but this did NOT fit the program so far. "Not that I'm complaining or anything," said the thief in a rather small voice, "but… uh… nothing happened. I lost, right? But I don't… I didn't…. I mean, IT didn't…" He stopped, staring across at Red Eyes. "Am I going to fall apart when I try to move or something?" he asked plaintively. "I _need_ my arms and legs."

There was a long silence. It was not a comfortable one.

At last Red Eyes took a few steps closer as Kaito slowly climbed to his feet, rummaging around in what was probably a pocket and pulling out something that he kept concealed in his hand. _"Thief? What am I holding?"_

Kaito didn't even have to think; a part of his brain that had nothing to do with anything as normal as 'logic' or even 'thinking' bypassed everything to wire itself straight to his mouth. "The card _'People Running About',"_ he said instantly, "and you're holding it upside down." The other blinked, then turned the card around and holding it out.

Without thinking the thief reached out; his fingers brushed against the card, against the dark hand holding it—

_--and there were people around them EVERYWHERE in the streets, crowding them, screaming, running, terrified faces and jostling bodies, shouts and shrieks as purple-black chaos loomed overhead up and up and up, rising like a wave from the desert itself and eating everything in its path—_

--and then there was silence again. No screaming people, no bodies thudding past, nothing at all but the still, empty village as Kaito backed away so fast that he nearly fell into the well.

Red Eyes stared at what he held in his hand. _"Why?"_ he whispered; his voice was faintly unsteady. _"Why did that just happen? Those people, and that darkness, I... no. I can't remember."_ He shook his shadowy head once, hard. _"How did you invoke the card without drawing it? Why aren't you being drained by the Game? Why—?"_ He stopped.

Breathing hard, Kaito blinked away cold sweat. "Why?" he repeated. It was a point of pride for him that his voice, at least, was under control; he only wished he could say as much for his heartbeat, which was hammering in his chest like something trying to get out. "You—said the Game'd take my strength when I lost—that it'd go to the Shadow Realm. It DIDN'T drain me; I don't feel any different at all, not this time. Why would the Game stop doing _THAT?"_

His opponent looked up slowly from the card in his hand. _"The only reason for it to stop would be… that you are no longer being played against by the Game but are becoming part of it; no longer an interloper, but a part of the Shadow Realm itself. It is playing you, Thief, against me; the nine games must be completed." _The scarlet gaze was terrible, full of certainty. "_I warned you that this might happen." _

That last sentence sounded less like a reminder than like a—well, a _sentence_, as in the sort that gets handed down with locks, jails and cold prison cells. The kind that even a world-renowned phantom thief couldn't escape.

"…I have freaking GOT to get AWAY from here…"

"_Agreed."_

They didn't say much after that; what _could _they say? The two finished their meal in silence, then got to their feet and followed the main street of the deserted village, looking for a way out.

There had to be a way out somewhere…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Aibou? You are my other self, my deliverer from the depths of the Puzzle and the light of my existence… but could you PLEASE stop singing that song inside of our head?_

_/'—a beeeer, a meks-ii-kan beeeeeeer---' Oh, sorry! Okay. It's a funny song, though. I wonder if Jiisan knows it/_

_I wouldn't be at all surprised if he did. Why ARE you singing it?_

_/…To maybe cheer you up? And It's not working, is it/_

……………………_If anyone ever wonders whether or not we are one person instead of two, something like this should tell them otherwise. Not working, no._

_/I think he's really upset; he's stomping, and he doesn't make much noise when he walks, usually. He's—angry? Scared? I guess I would be too--/_

_/--but It wasn't your fault, you know./_

_But it was; I am the one who proposed using the White Magical Hat card, even after I had warned the Thief what might happen. Aibou, you know better than any other that I am… less than gentle to my foes. I killed them often enough in the past, especially after I had first awakened…_

_/I know. I remember. That was before we understood what was happening, though. You aren't that way now. You're a lot more, um—/_

'_Sane'?_

_It's all right; I remember too. I wish I did not. Never mind… When this game began, I was uncertain of how it would end; after the Thief showed that he was an honorable opponent, any intentions of killing him were forgotten. If he died in battle against the creatures of the Shadow Realm, that would be justice of a sort—he is a thief, he had committed crimes against our friends—but if I could, I planned to prevent his death. Good opponents are not common things, and he plays well._

_But aibou? I never intended that he should be trapped here… I understand all too well what it feels like to be trapped._

_/Yes… Sometimes things just happen, though; I keep thinking that there's something about him that's making this easy, you know? Something about the way he is that's making the Shadow Realm sort of LIKE him, like he's—can the Shadow Realm have a, a crush on somebody/_

_Gods, Aibo, I hope not; I would not think so. An… attraction? More along the lines of gravity than emotion, I think. But you're right; it's taking him in as if he belongs here. And I do not know how to prevent it. I—_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"—hello? Hello? Earth or wherever we are to Red Eyes, May Day, May Day, over— Oh, there you are. Talking to yourself again?" inquired the thief a little irritably, waving a hand in front of his companion's face.

"_Ah… How could you tell?"_

Kaito shrugged. "I think the first clue was when you stopped walking halfway down the stairs and wouldn't answer me." He leaned against the mud-brick wall of the building they had paused beside, monocle reflecting nearby torchlight back in a gleam to rival Red Eyes' own; beyond it, his eyes were guarded for the first time since their precipitous escape from the Night Serpent Dragon. "Anything else I need to worry about? I mean besides trying to keep from becoming a permanent resident here?" Despite his nonchalant position, the phantom thief's tone, for once, was neither casual nor calm; it held an edge.

"………………_.." _From the sky overhead came an odd noise, almost a whisper, almost a snarl; Red eyes glanced up warily, but Kaito decided to ignore the noise. Let the sky growl at him if it wanted to; everything else seemed to be. _"You are angry, aren't you, Thief?"_

"Can you blame me?" Restlessly Kuroba Kaito turned away, shoving his hands into his coat pockets and staring off down the street. "If I hadn't used that card, I'd be—aaaaaahh HELL. I'd still be stuck in that tunnel and so would you." He shrugged angrily. "Not that that helps much. And if you're gonna say 'I told you so', don't." The thief took the last few steps down to street-level, stalking over to another of the small squares; another well crouched on the stones, this time with a full bucket of water sitting abandoned beside it.

The shadow that was Kaito's companion moved up soundlessly to stand beside him as he prodded the bucket with one toe. _"I was not going to say 'I told you so.'"_

"Fine by me. I don't need to hear anything about apologies either." Kuroba Toichi's son carded his hand through his hair beneath his hat, then pulled it off and ran the brim through his fingers. "'White Magical Hat'," the thief muttered, despair starting to filter through the anger. "Shit. If I have to—If I-- Why couldn't it be something more _powerful_, dammit?" A rising breeze drew shadows across Kaito's face like curtains until only the monocle was visible in the darkened village square; the torches behind him streamed their flames long and red against the mud-brick walls.

His companion glanced up again as the darkness overhead muttered once more; _"There is a storm coming,"_ he murmured, raising his head as the scent of rain shivered its way towards them through the empty streets. _"Can you feel it, Thief? A storm, here—"_

Kaito took a deep breath, trying to hold onto his temper—a losing battle, and Red Eyes watched him narrowly. "So? Great, they have weather here; I'll just make sure I pick a place with a good roof when I go apartment-hunting in Downtown Shadow Realm Central," he said bitterly; it was hard to say just then whether he was angrier at Red Eyes or at himself—when you were afraid, it was very easy to blame yourself; self-preservation looked all too often like cowardice when seen from the inside.

And he _was_ afraid.

The wind screamed around him, almost echoing his fear; Kuroba Toichi's son was usually better than this at keeping his temper, but— Cloak swirling erratically, Kaito turned away again; his mood worsened as shutters rattled like static against the jagged wind. "It's just—Hell, I've been up against so much since I took my dad's place—and you know what _REALLY_ pisses me off the most about this whole freaking thing?" He drew a deep breath. _"_ _I didn't even get to do anything to deserve it!_ I didn't even score the gem, Nakamori's got it, and all I did was smash up some display cases, give some cops a runaround and set YOU after my ass. And for what? Nothing! For a _failed heist_, that's what— God, my dad must be doing backflips in his grave—"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_/What's he doing? What's happening? The wind-- It's like you did when you were mad at him, right after we started the game— Should he even be able to DO this kind of thing/_

_No, he shouldn't. He's affecting the Shadow Realm with his temper, aibou; it's gone further than I thought. Wait, what's he saying? Gem? What gem--?_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

His companion blinked. _"'Gem'? What gem?"_

"The GEM, you know, dammit! That godforsaken emerald, the Flame of Whatsit, Argentina or America or--- The one you came after me about? What the #$! do you mean 'what gem'?" A growl from the sky (much louder now) punctuated his words as the wind's claws nearly tore Kaito's hat from his head. "THAT gem!"

Red Eyes blocked his face from flying, stinging sand. _"Thief? Do you realize—no, you don't do you? The storm—"_

Storm? _STORM? _

Kaito could practically hear his own temper snap; it was just… that was… too much. The wind suddenly bellowed like an animal in pain, and every torch within a hundred meters went out. "SCREW the goddamn storm!" His words came out in a furious yell as he finally, fully lost his temper. "I'm gonna be stuck here _**forever** _and you're worried about the freaking **_weather?"_**

Two black hands caught him by the shoulders and swung him around; he lashed out, trying to tear himself free. _"Thief! Listen to me—think about what you are doing! You—"_

"What **_I'm_** doing?" he shouted back directly into Red Eyes' face, almost invisible now. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, 'WHAT I'M DOING'? I'M—" Kaito swallowed hard, trying to breath something other than windborne sand; _"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING—"_

_And the world exploded into lighting._ It danced from rooftop to rooftop, exploding tiles, setting palm-trees on fire, sending sheets of crackling blue flame arcing into the sky and illuminating the pyrotechnics that danced there; Kaito stared, shaking, shocked by the unnatural fury of the storm that was breaking around him as Red Eyes grasped him by his shoulders. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"_Look around you, Thief!" _The other shook him, hard, as lightning blew another rooftop to bits two streets away. _"This storm is your work! Calm yourself down or we're both dead!"_

_**BWA-BOOOOOOOOM!**_

The thief stumbled back, wrenching himself out of his opponent's hands even as an eye-blinding bolt took out a palm-tree nearby and set it to burning like a giant match. His stagger broke when his back hit the edge of the well, and he dropped like a stone to the rain-drenched mud, arms wrapped around his knees. _"I-I'm_ doing this?" Kaito whispered, inaudible against the scream of the wind.

Red Eyes crouched in front of him, barely visible against the downpour; he seemed to be holding something in his hands— _"You are. Now STOP doing it!"_

"I don't know how!" There was a pause as the scarlet gaze before him narrowed and then came to a decision.

And with that, Red Eyes dumped the bucket of water over Kaito's head.

Desert rain, that was one thing; a bucketful of icy well-water, though-- In pure deluge-induced shock, the thief was dimly aware of the other dropping the bucket with a wooden _splat! _and backing warily up as he sputtered and flailed, shoving his drenched top-hat from off his eyes. **"#$&!"**

"_Likewise, I'm sure," _murmured Red Eyes from his place in the rain.

…which was, thankfully, no longer back-lit by lightning. And thinning out, first a little and then a lot.

"—Holy shit. I really DID make it storm, didn't I?"

"_Yes, you did. Do not do it again."_

Kaito wiped futilely at his streaming face with the edge of his now-muddy cloak. "I… uh….. right." Panting, he stared around at what little he could see of the devastation: steaming rooftops, a few flickers of fire here and there that the rain hadn't quite managed to drown, several very well-done palm-trees and quite a lot of rubble. A smell of scorched stone and ozone stung his nostrils and he sneezed wetly. "How the hell did I—attchoo!— DO that?" the thief asked, shivering a little with the aftereffects of cold water and shock.

Red Eyes sighed, moving forward a little; he glanced skyward as the torrent slackened, wrapping pitch-black arms around his own shoulders as if cold. _"Do you recall how I struck you down with my anger when we first arrived here? I lashed out with winds, with cold— I believe that this was similar. You are becoming a part of this place; similarly, it is becoming a part of you."_

Still shivering, Kaito laughed weakly and dropped his face to rest on his drawn-up knees. "That's… _not_ a good way to keep it from raining again, y'know, telling me that…"

A shrug was his answer. _"If a few uninhabited buildings are the only casualties of a Shadow-born attack, then the gods of Fortune are with us. There was a time when I—"_ Red Eyes stopped, then went on, voice subdued. _"It was shortly after I… woke to my current state; I was unaware of my own abilities and very uncertain of even what I was—and I struck out when I or my other self were threatened. There were—"_ He stopped again, searching for a word.

"—'casualties'?"

"_Yes. Too many."_

"Great." The thief huddled a little tighter in the mud beside the well. "So I'm giving this place mood-swings; yeah, _'great' _sums that up pretty well." Rain dripped steadily off the brim of his hat. "And you don't know how to fix it, do you?" Thunder rumbled overhead, accompanying a brief flash of lightning. "—Did I do that? I didn't MEAN to if I did. Did I?"

"_Probably. And… perhaps. I am not certain that 'fixing' this is even possible, but…"_ Desperate eyes looked up, and the other sighed again. _"I am part of this realm myself to an extent; my reactions can cause effects such as you saw, but they are under my conscious control because I am aware of what I am doing, of how to draw on the Shadows. You are not quite one thing nor the other—neither Shadow nor quite human anymore."_

The kaitou did not look up. "Great."

"…_you've already said that."_

"It's a good word. Why me, though? This didn't happen at first— pixies, yes, zombies, yes, dragons, definitely yes, personal thunderstorms, no. Why me and why here and why now?"

"_Hm… Thief? Tell me: What are you, precisely?"_

Despite his current traumatized state, Kaito paused at that. "Uhh—are you speaking philosophically or spiritually or what?" he asked cautiously. "'Cause if you mean philosophically, well, I'm sort of inclined towards Discordianism but hey, whatever floats your boat—"

Red Eyes crossed his arms and surveyed the soggy thief; this was serious. _"I mean quite simply: What are you? Are you—"_ he hesitated, searching for the correct words; _"—are you always as you are, or do you have a life outside being a thief? You said that you 'became your father's ghost', correct? You became something other than what you had been, and you did it deliberately?"_

"Yeeaaahhhh…? I'm not getting this…" The phantom thief scowled up at his companion; fitful flickers of light danced across his face from the nearest burning palm-tree. "Of course I'm somebody else besides the Kid—what, you think I dress like this all the time?" He pulled off his hat and attempted to straighten the drooping brim rather dolefully. "I mean, all in white, twenty-four-seven? I don't think so; the cleaning bill alone would be _horrible._ Why?" One eyebrow shot up. "Even Superman has a secret identity; why shouldn't I?"

The other shrugged briefly. _"Who is this 'Superman'?"_

"…..You don't get out much, do you?"

Another shrug. _"My other self told you that this place and its inhabitants is very malleable, able to be shaped by the mind and one's magic-- in fact, it does precisely what you did to yourself, only on a larger scale." _Red Eyes gave Kaito a Look; the thief had no problems interpreting this one, and his uneasiness manifested itself in another rumble overhead as the other continued.

"_You were brought here in your persona as a thief, no matter who you are otherwise; you defined yourself as such with every action, with the garb you wear and the name you accepted as your own… and the Shadow Realm took you at your word. Touching the White Magical Hat card was nothing more than a formality, in a way." _Red Eyes shook his head. _"And I did not help matters. I encouraged your use of the cards, used them to alter your abilities myself, and named you 'Thief' over and over. The fault lies in my hands as well."_ He looked away in a somber slant of red light. _"But we've already established that, have we not?"_

Staring morosely down at his hat, Kaito gave the brim a wrench. "Nnngh. Why _that_ card, though? Why do I have to be the stupid White Magical Hat and not the Great Phantom Thief? I mean, the guy's wearing a BLUE suit and he has a huge nose and-- I'm internationally infamous; I'm good at what I do, and I've earned every bit of my reputation, even if it was my dad's first. Why isn't my card the Great Phantom Thief, huh?"

"…_..I would assume that it is because, in your heart, you believe that only one person can truly be the greatest of your kind; and you are not he."_ Red Eyes held his gaze as he looked up quickly. _"As you said, you are your father's son."_

There was a long silence after that, broken only by the steady _plip!_ of rain dripping off tile roofs and the crackle of the nearest burning palm-tree. At last Kaito took a deep breath and nodded. "O—kay. Moving right along… We've still got to finish the game, though, don't we? Whether I'm stuck here or not, we don't have a choice about that. So— same old, same old, huh? We find the next playing-field?" He glanced around at the streaming, muddy streets, the flaming trees and charred roofs with a wince. "Somehow I don't think it's here; I think we've done all the damage we can do… and I sure hope whoever lives here has insurance." Slowly he climbed to his feet. "And, uh… I'm sorry. About all the lightning and so forth."

An indistinct black hand helped him up, still wet with rain. _"Apology accepted… Perhaps I should call you something other than 'Thief'—the name that was written on the blackboard in the school, perhaps? 'Kuroba'?"_

"Umm. No."

"_As you wish… It probably would make little difference by now, in any case. My other self, by the way, recommends that perhaps a distraction from thoughts of being 'stuck here' might be a good thing just now—"_

The thief was attempting futilely to wipe some of the mud from his clothing, swearing. "—goddammit, stuff's like freaking _glue--_ Fine, I'm all about distractions. Distractions are good. And if you've got anything that'll keep me from contemplating a future that includes dragons, the living dead and a loose-leaf-binder approach to geography, I'll take it."

Red Eyes visibly hesitated; comforting slightly-hysterical phantom thieves was obviously something he was unused to. _"Ahh-- that is-- My other self has suggested that you and he might sing together again as we travel--?"_

"…sing? Sing what?"

Another pause for internal consultation. _"As you seem to like American music, he has suggested a song called 'Minority' by… 'Greenday'? Who is 'Greenday'? --Never mind. He thinks that it would be appropriate, though he is refusing to explain the reason…"_

"…_Thief? Why are you laughing--?"_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The storm moved out, never quite dying, never quite drying up; it stumbled down across the valleys, tripping over mountainsides and skidding on muddy feet across plateaus until it reached the sea, leaving rainsoaked handprints everywhere it had reached out to steady itself. The earth below soaked up the torrent gratefully; it wasn't that the Shadow Realm didn't _get_ weather, it was just… less than predictable. Chance played a larger role than usual in the land's climate, and its inhabitants had learned to adapt in some startling ways—

--and, on occasion, to control their tempers if it happened to be necessary. It depended strongly on the individual and their particular talents. A kuribou, for instance, didn't have to worry about producing a thunderstorm if it got a hangnail; but then again, Harpy's Pet Dragon didn't have to worry about exploding if jostled too abruptly…

As the storm left the highlands above the desert for more hospitable climes, an observer flying far overhead might have noticed a particular adaptation in vivid action as scores of shining, black scarab beetles scurried surfaceward from a crevice deep below the earth. The insects milled about the rocky ground, clambering upon one another's back and raising their mandibles high to catch the drops that still fell; rain was far too precious to waste.

It was interesting, then, the way they all suddenly froze stock-still—and then vanished in a carapaced tide into the nearby fissures; why? There was still water falling from the sky…

Of course, it might have had something to do with the way the ground was shaking… or with the vast, purple-black set of talons that broke their way through the surface as something shook off a weight of broken stonework and emerged, roaring. With a hoarse shriek of fury, the monstrous reptilian thing that had emerged from the depths spread a double pair of wings and took to the rain-drenched air.

Apep the Serpent Night Dragon was free again. And he was _angry._

It was a long while before the scarab beetles dared to come back out, and by then the rain had stopped anyway.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Three games left to go… Let's see, that's, uhh, four for him and two for me so far… I won numbers Three and Five, and if I'm gonna keep my pattern going I need to win number Seven or I'm in deep, deep kimchi._

_I hate kimchi._

They had left the smoking, steaming village by now, moving out towards the road that bordered the fields and their arguably-leech-filled irrigation ditches; Kaito gave the results of his loss of control one last, guilty (and more than a little embarrassed) glance as they slipped through a narrow lane onto a wider throughway. "Sorry," he muttered beneath his breath.

Stupid lightning. Stupid bad temper. Stupid Shadow Realm and its stupid ideas…

The air was sodden with rain; droplets hung everywhere, and the rough cobbles beneath their feet were sluiced with mud that smelled disgustingly of… _Well, hell, how would I know what that smell's from? Don't suppose they have camels here, do they? I know I can be dense sometimes, but I think I would've spotted 'em in the village if they'd been around._ The thief snickered internally at the mental image of a Fire-breathing Humped Quadruped Of Doom card. Why not? Something organic had to have been around to make the mud smell like that.

He glanced sideways at his companion as they detoured around a fallen palm. Red Eyes walked with his characteristic silence, black against black but oddly visible and becoming more so all the time; by now, Kaito could make out little things like details of clothing (belts; more than one? Weird) and a sharp, slightly angular profile. There was something around his neck that looked distinctly like a collar-- and a gleam of gold, chained and hanging like the weight of the world—

Kaito blinked; something about that silhouette made him think back to the Convention Center… and a shoe (black and indistinct) finally dropped.

_Oh…. right._

He really _could_ be dense on occasion, couldn't he?

_Yeeeeeaaaahhh... Took me long enough; I must be slipping. Spiky hair, leatherwear and a whonking huge shiny necklace. Ring any bells, Thief Boy? Betcha I'm right—explains what he was doing at the Center, though not why there's two of him… them… whatever._ He shot another surreptitious glance at the other, who was currently attempting to shake mud off of what was probably a pants-leg. _What do they do, follow that damned emerald around wherever it's displayed? That's gotta be boring as all hell, not to mention inconvenient. …though if I'm being honest with myself, that's sort of what I'm doing too: following a jewel around like a donkey after a carrot. At least they know where their target IS._

_Funny, though… I'd swear he's— they're—aaagh, whatever—taller here. Go figure. Still doesn't explain why they're guarding that jewel; you'd think they'd invest in a good security system… Wait, maybe they ARE the security system… or maybe—_

"_Is there something wrong, Thief-san?"_

Kaito came back to the present with a jerk; he had been staring. Two inquisitive violet glows blinked at him from the darkness; Purple Eyes was back in the saddle again. "Uhh, no, just thinking… Hey," he improvised, not quite wanting to broach the subject of just who was who (or what was what, for that matter, all things considered) quite yet, "where ARE we going, anyway?"

Black fingers scratched indistinct black hair as the other thought about it—or something; he was most likely 'talking' to his other self. _"Well… the next game feels like it's this way, and since we don't know this area we thought we'd… sort of wing it. There's buildings over that way—we saw them in a lightning-flash a little while ago, big buildings of some sort; Y—my other self wants to go take a look."_

"Mm; works for me." Kaito glanced out across the darkened expanse of fields; was that a river glittering in the distance? Could be… "You two want to get back to the 'real world' too, I guess, don't you?"

For some reason Purple Eyes seemed to find that funny. _"This IS the 'real world'. Or it's A real world, anyway—just not the one you're used to. It was here before we were, even before the Other Me, and he's a lot older than I am… it'll be here after we're gone, too." _The dark silhouette turned, and Kaito's companion drew a deep breath of the rain-wet air. _"I know it can be a scary place, but… it's kind of nice here too, sometimes. It's a lot better actually being here than it is when we—um. Never mind."_

"What? Hey, you can't just leave me hanging like that, I might have to LIVE here—"

Doleful violet gleams looked up at him; sometimes it startled Kaito to realize all over again that Purple Eyes was so freaking _short…_ _"It's not—well, what I was saying was that it's nicer actually walking around in the Shadow Realm rather than… um, you see, sometimes when we duel somebody back where we were—somebody who's doing something wrong, not a regular duel—we pull the shadows there to us so we're inside the Shadow Realm but in what you called the 'real world' at the same time."_ Purple Eyes shivered, still walking. _"The first time that happened I thought I was going to die; we were dueling a man named Pegasus, and… it was hard; do you remember how you felt like you were being drained of energy when we first came here? Like that. It got easier, but I remember… It's usually the Other Me that handles that sort of thing; he's a lot better at it."_

"Oh." The thief shook his head (which was beginning to hurt), wishing he hadn't asked. Duels and shadows and who the hell was this 'Pegasus', anyway? Dorky name…

_Never mind. Don't want to know. Hope I won't need to know…_

Despite being outside the village proper, the buildings never quite petered out, straggling along the edges of the fields in bits and pieces just like any suburb would. The path underfoot took a downwards turnabout eventually, following muddy steps hewn into a slight hillside that actually took them a little lower than the soggy banks of the irrigation ditches; weird, but Kaito had seen rice-fields do the same thing before, so he guessed they weren't in for a sudden rendition of Led Zeppelin's 'When The Levee Breaks'. Another fitful crackle of distant lightning showed the buildings again, much nearer now (and Jeeze, they were _huge,_ he thought, like something out of a movie-set: columns and massive blocks of stone and statues). Slowly the city proper rose up around them.

And it was all… empty; as empty as the village, as empty as the desert, as empty as the tomb had been. Abandoned—torches and oil-lamps burned here and there, but sand had blown in through doors that hung ajar. Nobody anywhere, not a sign of life or a barking dog or… anything, anything at all; sort of like an oversized, unsailable _Marie Celeste_ in the middle of a sand-dune sea.

Kaito shivered.

A rising breeze swept a breath of cold, wet stone across the two travelers and the thief drew it in, pulling his damp cloak around him a little tighter. Getting dry would have been _so_ nice—what with the past downpour, they were both thoroughly soaked, and things were riding up. A thunderous rumble overhead made Kaito glance up, and he scowled at Purple Eyes' look. "…It's not me this time, okay?"

"_Sorry."_

"Hmph." The thief stuck his hands into his pockets and continued on, doing his best to ignore the effects of soggy underwear.

Buildings grew more frequent, began to crowd together, went from mud-brick to mud-and-stone and then almost wholly stone as they made their way through what was becoming less _village_ and more _city_, complete with a really massive wall—and a gate (fortunately open) An odd city to somebody that had spent the majority of their life in Japan's metropoli, but hey, he was supposed to be an _International_ thief, wasn't he? Travel was supposed to broaden the mind—

_--yeah, and after this little trip you'll be able to use mine as a runway for Lear jets, it'll be so damned wide. And flattened. And ground into the pavement, and set up with little blinking blue lights and signalmen and landing strips and an air-traffic control tower—and I think I've used up that metaphor pretty thoroughly._

Kaito sighed, kicking at a cobblestone. "So… We're here; not that I want to whine or anything, but do either one of you got any more of an exact fix on where the next game'll be other than 'this way'? I damn well hope it won't be another tomb; so far we've done, uhhh—" He ticked locations off on gloved fingers. "We've done the woods, a graveyard, a school, the back of a freaking huge fish—"

"—_whales aren't fish—"_

"—lalala, I can't heeear you—anyway, a really ritzy tomb with the beetles from hell and then the village… where next?" The thief raised one eyebrow at his companion, obviously hoping for a reply.

In answer, Purple Eyes solemnly licked one indistinct black finger and held it up to the freshening wind. He pointed towards the large buildings off in the distance; _"That way. Definitely that way."_

Kaito blinked. "…Does that actually work?"

A glint of a grin shone for a second in a dark face. _"No, not really… but I had you thinking it did, didn't I?"_

"Mmph. Smart-ass."

They walked on for a bit as the wind curled around them in gusts. Rumble, rumble…. That was the sky again, much louder, and Purple Eyes was carefully avoiding looking at him this time. "It's NOT me, I swear it!"

"…_didn't say it was, Thief-san…"_

**_GRUMBLE_** rumble mutter…. Kaito winced, glaring up at the sky again, which went grumble**GROWWWWLLLLL**mutter thuddarrrrrRUMMMMBBBBLLLLEthudda—

**_ROOOOAAAARRRRR!_**

Two heads shot up simultaneously—

"**Oh HELL, not AGAIN!"**

"_**AAACK! #$&!"**_

"**_GRRRRRAAAAOOOORRRRRRRWWWW!" _**howled Apep the Night Serpent as it bore down on them from the sky, eyes burning gold.

From behind the not-_nearly­-_tall-or-defensive-enough-for-comfort wall that they had each chose as a refuge, Kaito fought back a surge of half-hysterical laughter. "I didn't think you knew words like that—"

"_I learned them from my Jiisan, he—never mind! WHY won't that dragon leave us ALONE?"_ Purple Eyes ducked in a flurry of black as stone and fire exploded not fifteen meters away. A chunk of the wall fell over into the mud with a resounding crunch. _"We don't have anything it wants—wait—yes we do—"_

"What? What do we have that'd make a huge damned lizard follow us? No Pandora Gem, no Black Pendant thingamajig—what?"

Wide violet eyes turned towards the thief, staring as they reflected another lightning strike. _"You. It wants **YOU**."_

Kaito swallowed. "Oh… Well, it can't have me, it'd have to stand in line behind Nakamori, Hakuba and Kudo—"

**KABOOOOOOMMM!**

"_Run?"_ suggested the other as another blast struck, closer this time; more wall crumbled.

They ran.

The avenue leading from the gate went on and on for what seemed like forever. Above and behind lightning raged, driven by double pairs of bat-wings and a serpentine body filled with fury and hate. The two ran like bats out of hell (or at least like two people escaping one very LARGE bat-out-of-hell) through the empty streets, heading instinctively towards the largest buildings in view. Kaito swore as he stumbled over something—rubble, miscellaneous street trash, he didn't know what—and the object flew forward, clattering into the gutter like a peculiarly-shaped ball made of—

_--**what** the--?_

--bone.

It was a skull.

The thief skidded sideways, feet scrambling beneath him as light-colored objects scattered around the street began to make sense to his eyes-- Huddles of cloth here and there, more and more of them as they staggered deeper into the streets, all dreadfully angular and splayed and ending in roundish, paleish—

_--bones. There's **bones** all over the place— God, there's bodies, they're all-- W-what… HAPPENED here? Why--_

**BWAWHOOOOM!**

A gout of flame exploded a building far too near by; simultaneously Kaito felt his arm grabbed by a dark hand. _"What are you DOING? KEEP RUNNING!"_ yelped his companion, dragging him along in a ragged stumble.

"But, but there's—"

Fire lit the streets again behind them, closer now. _"I know! RUN!"_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

High above, the Serpent Night Dragon coiled around damp air, beat twin sets of wings and arched downwards like an overdrawn bow. Fire blossomed from between black teeth, jetting downwards as it screamed; Apep wanted, and Apep would not be denied. The alien, magic-implanted thoughts burning inside the dragon's brain meshed with its own native covetousness until Snake was Apep and Apep was Snake and all they were together was _hate _and _craving _and _KILL…_

…and that was fine with them both. What else did they need?

The dragon roared again, splitting the night. There and there, tiny figures running, and Ohhhh, but the prey/the Kid wasn't getting away THIS time, no, and the Jewel, surely the thief had it and Snake was going to take it from his bleeding corpse. The Pandora Gem, the Black Pendent--

"_SSSSSssssssssss… Kurrrobaaaaaaaaa… **MINE**, give it **back** to me….."_

Neither of the professions of Dragon nor Professional Killer required massive amounts of intelligence; obsession, yes, but not intelligence.

Apep/Snake licked its jaws and grinned through a wreathing of fire. It reached out sharp talons, snaring the wind… until all around it, the raw matter of the Shadow Realm began to knot and snarl into tangles that became… _things,_ first one then two then three then many—

Black wings beat heavily as Apep/Snake's underlings dove towards the source of their master's fury.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What the—oh HELL! DUCK!"

"_What? Wh—OOOFF!"_

Purple Eyes' words ended in a gasp and a thud as Kaito threw himself sideways at the smaller figure; something black and taloned shrieked past, barely missing them both before it winged upwards to make another try. "Flying Monkeys at 12 o'clock," muttered the thief, scuttling on three of four limbs and dragging his companion with the remaining hand towards a handy doorway. He peered around the lintel cautiously as smaller-than-dragon-but-still-big-and-scary shapes hurtled past. "I think that bastard's brought in reinforcements this timmme_AAAAGH!" _The last was the result of Purple Eyes' returning the favor by yanking Kaito backwards by the collar as wing-borne talons scraped past. Scuttling backwards like a crab, the thief swore as he regained his footing. "—ing flying _bastards,_ I am getting SO damned tired of falling on my—" He drew a deep, frustrated breath. _"NOW_ what'll we do?"

His companion hauled himself painfully to his feet, pulling out his deck of cards. _"Let me try something. I don't know if it'll work, but—"_ He drew a card and held it up. _"Interdimensional Matter Transporter!"_

And nothing happened. Kaito rubbed at his eyes. "Isn't that… awfully Star Trek for a game that uses magic?"

"_Whatever works… and this isn't. Working, I mean." _The other shook his head, returning the deck carefully to its pouch. An explosion outside drew their eyes to the door again, and both stared at the no-longer-quite-so-distant walls of their original goal. _"The palace," _murmured Purple Eyes, rubbing at one shoulder. _"We can't leave until we play the next Game, and it's definitely that way… If we just had some sort of cover or a distraction—"_

"A… 'distraction'? You want a distraction?" Kaito's eyes lit up and he dropped a hand into one pocket, pulling out a glovefull of assorted items, an evil grin slowly blooming across his face. "I--_think_ I can help with that…. Just be ready to run when I say to, okay?" The thief glanced around. "Lessee… I'll need some string…"

He got busy. As far as Kaito was concerned, any chance to work out a little frustration was an opportunity not to be missed. After a few very involved minutes the thief glanced up at his rapt audience, who was staring wide-eyed at what he had just concocted. "Okay, you ready? It's gonna take off as soon as I push the button—"

"_That's just…. Wow… Where did you GET that… that stuff?"_

"Trade secret, can't tell you. Ready to run? Good, 'cause we have ignition--!" A small button was pressed…

_**WHOOOSH!**_

"One… two… three! GO!"

An onlooker from above (one that wasn't a) draconic and b) attempting to incinerate two very slippery targets) would have found the events below quite fascinating. They went like this:

a) There was the rush of a very small, very powerful engine igniting.  
b) Something shot out and down the narrow, darkened street, moving at a rapid rate back towards the gate—something that looked remarkably like a caped, top-hatted, white-suited figure. Said onlooker might have wondered why it seemed to be sailing through the air very much like a man-sized, formally-dressed balloon being yanked along on a string…  
c) Apep's demonic underlings, who had apparently been chosen/spawned/materialized/drafted for their brawn and not for their brains, took off after the speeding figure like an entire _coven_ of bats out of hell, shrieking and clawing at each other to be the first one to pick their teeth with the Kaitou Kid's bones. And finally…  
d) Two not-quite-as-speedy-but-also-fortunately-not-_nearly_-as-interesting figures ran like crazy towards the palace. _After _the demons had gone. Really, really, really fast.

…at least, until the dragon spotted them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"**_HHHHRRRRAARRRRRRRR! KHRRRRRRROBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"_**

"OhHolyShitGO! Go-go-go-go-go!"

"_I'm going! I'm going!"_

Past taller and taller buildings they ran, blasts of dragon-born lightning blowing bits of the city to rubble behind them much as Kaito's own lightnings had done earlier to the village; if he had had the time, the thief thought, he would probably have laughed at the irony. Or maybe not; it was hard to laugh when you were in danger of being turned into a blast-shadow on a marble wall…

Obelisks and ramps and broad avenues of stairs—they were past the regular home-type edifices now and into stuff straight out of dimly remembered late-night movies like _The Ten Commandments_ and _Spartacus_. Bizarre statues of unbelievable height and even more unbelievable design guarded black pits of doorways, and bones were _everywhere_ underfoot-- Purple Eyes did a rather spectacular impromptu dance sideways at one point after trodding on a legbone that rolled; only a hasty grab by Kaito kept him from face-planting straight into a heavily-decorated wall.

Decorated—

Torches here and there showed surfaces full of hieroglyphs again, with those disturbing blanks in the cartouches; the thief wasn't certain if his companion had noticed, but he sure had. They were all over the place, emptiness repeating again and again as if somebody had been screaming a name that had no sound to it. Even in the middle of running for his life, it gave him the massive creeps.

_… it's like being in that tomb all over again…_

_Never mind, Thief Boy; you think too damn much. Here's the main entrance, Jeeze WHY all the steps? GANGWAY--!_

There was just one little problem, really; or maybe two: First, the damned doorway was nice and wide and not easily barred or anything. Not wide enough for Big-Ass Snake-Sama up there, but easily wide enough for his peons. And second…

"_RRRRAAARRRWWWWRRR!"_

--and second, well, here they came. "Guess they figured out that that was a blow-up dummy I tied to that little rocket of mine, huh?"

"_Keep running! I can feel the Game up ahead!"_

"Gotcha, running right now."

More torchlit stairs, wide enough to hold parties on; lots and lots of hieroglyphs, lots of really gaudy statuary… lots and lots more bones. So much death-- _Whatever happened,_ thought the thief grimly_, it must've started at the palace and worked its way out; maybe that's why there weren't any bodies in the village, maybe the people in the suburbs had had time to get away from… whatever it was. Maybe._

That didn't matter. _Running_ mattered. At least until they couldn't run anymore— But even as he ran, Kaito yanked off his hat and felt around inside it. "I know you're not really my _real_ hat, you came from a card and all," he muttered, staggering, "but just please have what I need, okay? My real hat would have 'em; so please, be there—"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_/Aaaaaagh! I—am getting—awfully tired of—running--/_

_Courage, aibou, courage, keep going! There, that doorway, can you feel it? The Game— We're almost to it—_

_/I—feel it, but those things are—getting closer! Wait, what's he doing now/_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"GOT IT! COVER YOUR EYES!"

"_What?"_

**F LA S H!**

In the torchlit dimness of the vast rooms, the magnesium-born brilliance of one of the Kaitou Kid's very best flashbombs was like a nuclear blast going off. Purple Eyes yelped and fell straight over backwards; he was dragged to his feet again as shadows with talons and batwings shrieked and flailed at each other, their claws scoring the carved walls. A sideways stagger down a narrow corridor took the two through a succession of smaller rooms, far less vast than the ones that they had just left; swearing beneath his breath, Kaito ducked around a corner and pulled his blinking companion behind him into an alcove of some sort. "Here—" They both collapsed, breathing hard and listening.

Screaming and yowling, close by but not right at hand—

Purple Eyes staggered to his feet; Kaito hadn't noticed it, but there was an actual door to the small room they had entered, thick and heavy and able to be barred; as quietly as possible, the other closed it and leaned against it, panting. _"This—won't last long; they'll—find us sooner or later, we need to—there. **THERE.**" _The violet glows that served him as eyes were wide, and he pointed at the object that Kaito had propped himself against.

"What?" It was just bare stone, some sort of pillar or—the thief craned his head up; it had a carving at the top, sort of a round globe-thing with a crescent of horns around it, and it didn't go all the way to the roof—a statue? He peered around one edge; not a statue, a big… chair? On a platform sort of thing, with more freaking stairs in front of it and a great big empty room-- "What is it?" But Purple Eyes was fishing around in one pocket (or at least that's what it looked like); one indistinct black hand pulled out something familiar—

"My marker? My glow-in-the-dark marker? Thought I'd lost that in the water—"

--and now he was reaching past Kaito and drawing…..

Oh.

The thief's companion sat back, still breathing hard a bit. _"This is where the next Game needs to be played. Right here."_

"Uh—fine with me, but… why the hell here?"

"_No idea."_ The other held out the marker. _"Play! We've got to finish it before they find us! Trust us, okay? PLAY!"_

"Right, right—"

And _this_ one he needed to win, to make his plans work out. As the creatures outside the door tore past in search of them both, Kaito swallowed hard, said a very quick internal prayer to Anybody That Might Be Listening, and made his first X…..

Game-time never seemed to move like real-time did (if you could call the hours/days/whatevers that they had spent in the Shadow Realm 'real'); it stretched, it compacted, it had its own ideas about how long and short it was. But either Kaito was getting better at this or Purple Eyes was really rattled this time around, because by the third move it was pretty evident that for once the master thief was going to get his wish. He was concentrating hard; that helped. So was his companion, but—

It was funny; somehow it just wasn't as hard to play anymore. And that gave Kaito a sinking feeling all the way down to his toes.

"Game over," he said at last in relief after several minutes/hours/seconds/whatevers or so had passed; and he drew a line through a diagonal row of three Xs. Kaito looked defiantly at his companion. "And this time I am NOT gonna let the goddamn Shadow Realm eat any of your energy even if I did win, okay? We can't either of us afford it. So hang on a sec—" And with that he draped his now-tattered-and-stained cloak over the other's head.

"—_Uh—Thief-san? What are you doing?"_

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure this'll work. Really sure. Yeah! _Trust _me!" He drew in a deep, shaky breath as the familiar tendrils of cold swept in, holding out his hands above the other's white-draped, rather pointy head. "I'm supposed to be this White Magical Hat guy, right? Magicians are good at sleight of hand…"

"**Abracadabra! _Disappear!"_**

It really _WAS_ like magic; real magic, not illusion. The spiky white silhouette beneath his cloak just… vanished, Hey Presto just like that; and the frigid, seeking claws of the Shadow Realm swept right past him without a pause, frustrated and empty. After a second or three, the magician waved his hands again:

"**Alakazam! _Reappear!"_**

And…

"……_..WHAT did you just do to us?"_

Kaito undraped his cloak, wavering a little on his feet; that had taken an unexpected toll on _his_ energy, never mind Purple Eyes'. "Made you vanish and then brought you back. The hand is quicker than the eye, y'know." He grinned, feeling a bit unsteady. "I figured, well, if I'm supposed to be some sort of Shadow Realm cut-rate Houdini, I should at LEAST be able to pull an old-fashioned Vanishing Volunteer From The Audience trick. Didja know that 'Abracadabra' means 'I will create with words' and 'Alakazam' means 'oath' or 'promise'?... uh, sorry. A little rattled here. You okay? …and, uh, just where _did_ you go to, anyway?"

Purple Eyes blinked at him. _"We don't know. It was dark. But it wasn't here—"_

"Oooookay….." The thief leaned against the wall at his back, wiping at his forehead. At this angle he could see past the big stone chair that they were currently hiding behind; man, the room beyond was freaking _huge._ And there were bones out there, lots more of them; and some kind of golden tangle of—jewelry? something shiny, anyway—on the floor near the far entrance (which was pretty damn huge; what was the place, some sort of throne room?) and several big, unornamented stone slabs standing up to either side of the room for no apparent reason. Weird; he started to step forward to get a better look--

**BWAM! BWAMMWHAMWHAM!** "SNARRRRLLLLL!"

_Oh Hell--_

Talons on the door, claws tearing at the thick wood, bodies slamming into it-- The thief and his shadowy companion looked at each other simultaneously. _"We've got to get out of here-- Wait, my card, let me try it again—"_ Purple Eyes yanked his deck out, flicking a single piece of pasteboard out in deft fingers—

--and _dropping it_ as the door burst open to let in a black tangle of screaming, maddened creatures after their blood. _"Shimata! Thief-san—!"_

But Kaito was already there, plucking the falling card from mid-air and holding it high as he seized his companion's shoulder. "Interdimensional Matter Transporter! NowNowNow! Anywhere away from here, anywhere _SAFE—"_

"_You have to tell it where—"_

--but it was too late, too late; as cold, golden light swept them both up and dissolved them into itself, Kaito had just enough time to see claws lunging for his throat. And then…

…he saw nothing at all.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

_To be continued...  
_

_**Ysabet's Notes:** Don't kill meeeeeeeeeee! I like cliffhangers! Can't you tell?_

_Yaaargh; sorry this chapter took so very long—it was a bear and a half to write! So much happened, and I got bogged down in the action scenes and then I dug myself out and then Real Life Happened At Work and eeeeyuuuuurgh. Lots of stuff. But here you are. And (sigh) the damned story has extended itself to probably seven chapters and an epilogue. That's how it's looking. Some people have Plot Bunnies, I have Mutant Rabbits Threatening To Devour My Soul._

…_and, because I don't have sense enough to leave it at that AND because Snickerer made a comment that got my train of thought clanging down the track… and then melted the rails….. Here's an omake again. I've already posted this a while back in my livejournal, but here it is just to complete the collection. Snickerer? This one's YOUR fault! I used the waiting room at the local City Courthouse as an image for this (I had to do Jury Duty a few months ago and I came to know it all too well). This is ridiculously long for an omake, I know; damned things are starting to turn into a mini-series all on their own, and no, don't anybody suggest that I write one—oh, wait, I'm already sort of doing that…. No. Nope Nope Nope, AAAARGHYOUCAN'TMAKEMEEEE,NOOOO… Everybody chant along with me: This Does Not Actually Happen In The Storyline, This Does Not Actually Happen In The Storyline, This Does Not Actually Happen In The Storyline…_

_Right. Anyway. All speculations about the organization/natural laws/technology level/social order of the Shadow Realm are straight out of my head, so don't take this seriously, okay? oO….._

**_Omake Dinner Theater III: Neighborhood_**

"Is it _always_ like this?" asked the Kaitou Kid plaintively.

"Oh no," Black Magician Girl assured him with a wry smile, smoothing down the short ruffles of her skirt. "Sometimes it gets much worse."

Things weren't going well in what he had come to think of as the Waiting Room. A Feral Imp and a very tiny Petit Moth had taken up residence in his left coat-pocket and were quarreling over one of his few remaining peppermints, the Flame Swordsmen had fallen asleep next to him and was drooling on his shoulder, and a Kuribou had just piddled on his left shoe. "They could at least serve coffee or something," he grumbled, shifting in the cheap plastic chair that the BEWD Corporation had supplied for the lucky (?) Shadow Realm inhabitants who happened to be up for summoning by someone who could access the Heart of the Cards. "I didn't have time for breakfast. How long are we gonna be here, anyway?"

Black Magician Girl shrugged a bare-shouldered shrug, wrinkling her nose; they were neighbors and had gotten to know each other fairly well over the past few months. "However long the Game lasts… and then there's the paperwork afterwards. You _know_ how the BEWD staff are about paperwork." With a _pop!_ of shifting subspace, the dusky-skinned blonde fished out a slightly grubby romance novel from a magical singularity pocket and settled down with a sigh to read. "Could you let me know if my name comes up on the monitors? Thanks, Kuroba-kun."

Yeah, he knew about the paperwork; oh man, did he ever know… The BEWD Corp, Kaito had learned, had apparently won the contract to deal with Heart-of-the-Cards summoners in a session of ruthless, cut-throat bids that had left buildings in flames and body-parts strewn across the landscape; when a dragon went after a business deal, it didn't tend to take 'no' for an answer. As the Shadow Realm's official rep, the BEWD Corp received a share of the summoner's energy and got to critique the summoneds' performances during each game. As if that wasn't bad enough, they then wrote up scathing and highly critical reviews of the players' work AND made each one fill out a hellish lot of forms afterwards.

And now Kaito hated dragons nearly as much as he disliked fish. Dragons were Bad News Lizards.

"BZZZT! " the speaker at the front of the room said emphatically; heads turned towards the monitors, and with a shrug one of the muscular types discussing sword techniques over on the one comfortable couch got up and lumbered towards the nearest Active door. His turn, then…

With a sigh of his own, the phantom thief settled back in his uncomfortable chair and glanced around the tightly-packed room. The old saying of 'familiarity breeds contempt', he reflected, didn't quite hold true here; instead, familiarity bred the kind of view that would give a hardened alcoholic the shakes. For instance, two chairs over you had a Griggle, a Yashinoke and a Rainbow Flower in the middle of a fairly involved conversation about soil alkali levels; the Griggle had been droning on in its squeaky voice about how much it enjoyed a really good soaking rain to the point that even the Flower was looking bored (not easy when you're a plant). Two chairs over and back three rows, the Witch of the Black Forest was discussing hair-care with Saint Joan in a desultory way, and behind them Harpy's Brother and the Nobleman of Crossout seemed to be very casually chatting each other up.

BORing… The phantom thief sighed, tugging his hat a little lower and settling back for a nap. The Waiting Room was a 'safe' zone—nobody would attack anybody else there, even if they were hungry.

_zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… snrk? _A crackle of sound from the Active Booth caught his and several of the other Deckers' attention; somebody was getting the crap pounded out of them, and Kaito winced as he stretched a little, joints popping. Owww…..

'Deckers'-- that's what they were called, or what they called themselves. Wonderful. And he knew this how? Because less than a week after finding a permanent residence in one of the Shadow Realm's less savory hamlets, a welcome-package had arrived via S.R. mail, explaining the whole process courtesy of the BEWD Corp's current policy, that was how. 'Deckers' were called upon to stand ready at the nearest BEWD facility when a gamer in the Real World who could access the Heart of the Cards got busy with a duel; if you were drawn, you entered the Active area (sort of a holding tank where a Duelist's 'hand' awaited play) and fought until either the Game ended or you got swatted—'killed'—and sent to the Graveyard, maybe for a few minutes, maybe until the end of the Game. Confusing, to say the least… You could die without dying, be reborn without the messy process of birth, get combined with another living thing without, well… Kaito privately thanked whatever kami ruled over the Shadow Realm that his particular persona wasn't a Fusion Monster; life was screwy enough without that as it was. The very idea of being called on to form something like, say, the Skull Knight made him shudder; fusion-component monsters tended to wander around the landscape muttering to themselves most of the time. Fusion Monsters Were Messed Up.

The thief watched restlessly as the current Decker's life-points scrolled south on the monitors at the front of the room; bad news for the Green Phantom King, it looked like. "Tough luck, kid," he murmured, watching as the other Decker's name vanished from the screen's 'Active' column and appeared in the 'Graveyard' list, blinking red. Poor guy… It wasn't like he was any sort of big-time player, though—just cannon-fodder, really. The unfortunate Decker would be appearing about now in one of the regen-spelled areas, most likely swearing vociferously and examining his mortal wounds (or collecting whatever bits had been hacked/blown/chewed off). Off he'd go through the exit marked 'Graveyard' (and some witty moron had scribbled _'Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here'_ above the door), hopefully to the Dead Man's Lounge and not to a comfy 6-foot-deep hole (although, Kaito supposed, 'comfy' varied as to whether you were a rejuvenated-but-technically-dead warrior or a shot-full-of-holes zombie). And there he'd stay while his body, garments and armor regenerated painlessly, watching the rest of the Game and arguing over strategy with the rest of the dead until they were all released back to the Realm.

Dying really sucked, and so did death—even temporary death. And despite what all the Duelists probably thought, 'Monster Reborn' wasn't all it was cut out to be, either. Being knocked/slashed/pulverized/flamed/eaten/shredded/stabbed or otherwise made dead, sent to the Graveyard, hanging out with all the other dead guys and grousing about how something just took your head _right_ off was bad enough (you didn't hurt once you were in the regen areas like the Lounge or, he assumed, the Graveyard, but it was still disturbing)—and then being yanked back into play and_ KILLED ALL OVER AGAIN_ was just adding insult to injury. Maybe if you were a Big Bad like the Black Magician or one of the dragons it was no problem, but… anyway.

Unfortunately, 'White Magical Hat' wasn't the world's strongest card, he thought ruefully as he went over several recent games in his head. Considering how many times he had died so far, Kaito had at this point figured that they were probably naming streets after him in the Twilight Zone.

"BZZT!" said the speaker at the front of the room again; and _this_ time, it was Kaito's Card-name and picture that flashed across the screens, big nose and everything. "Here we go again," he muttered as he climbed to his feet and headed towards an Active door a little apprehensively; hopefully he'd see some good play this time around—

The door closed behind him and the familiar feeling of being in an active hand settled in as he took his place in the 5-card lineup; it was inarguably one of the oddest sensations the kaitou had ever known—you felt _flat_. He glanced sideways at the other Deckers in play (Magician of Black Chaos gave him a nod as one professional to another, which was really damned flattering) and leaned against the railing, watching the arena below as several improbable creatures dueled it out in flashes of light and thunder. _Huh; big on magic, and there's lots of trap cards and Fiends on the other guy's side—looks like the Dead Man's Lounge'll have a full house tonight._

Sometimes Kaito wondered: did the Duelists who were playing out there in the Real World that he missed so much realize that all too often the creatures from their decks were kibitzing invisibly on the sidelines, watching their every move? And if they did, would it change how they played? Would they be so ready to sacrifice a card like Marie the Fallen One (currently on the field) if they knew that the poor thing would be having bad dreams about being devoured by, say, a Man-Eater Bug (also on the field and equipped with extras) later that night?

Depended on the Duelist, he supposed.

Kaito winced at the shrieks coming from the field… Goddamned bug— and there went Marie to the Graveyard; shit. Poor thing. Nasty way to die, even if you knew that you'd be coming back to life in a little while… _Okay; we've got Crystal Dragon moving into position, but it looks like—ooh; the other guy's got a Dragon Capture Jar—so much for attacking. Rrrgh; that's got to be embarrassing. And now we're playing a trap card and it's—yeah! Bug Spray! 'Eradicating Aerosol'! Dead Man-Eater Bug! THAT'll piss off the opposition, I bet-- What's his name, 'Bakura'? Think I've gone up against his deck before…_

He actually kind of liked playing, once he got into the lineup. It wasn't much compared to a heist, but if you got killed in the Real World you didn't have the option of coming back to life, so he supposed it all balanced out, sort of. And the whole Good Guy/Bad Guy thing was _really_ flipped here—in one Game you might be the Evil Villain, smearing innocent little pixies and Kuribou all over the landscape… and in the next, you were the Dish Of The Day for the biggest bastard of a dragon in existence. And afterwards you saw the critters you had just killed/been killed by, and sometimes you hashed the Game out over a beer in the Dead Man's Lounge, and… well. It made things sort of weird. And you rarely knew who was going to be playing you, unless your card was one of the Ultra-Rare ones like the BEWDs…

Funny thing; up 'til nearly a month ago, he'd been playing almost exclusively in _Hakuba's_ lineups. His card wasn't rare or anything, but not everybody could access the Heart of the Cards; Hakuba, much to Kaito's dismay, _could._ Why? _'Intelligence and intuition,'_ Hakuba had said smugly from the Real World; _'Too thickheaded to know better',_ Kaito had retorted from his pocket. So why hadn't Hakuba been playing lately? What with their wins on the tournament circuit (and the detective had _damn_ well better have been putting aside Kaito's percentage like he had claimed), you'd think he'd be—

"Hat? Yo, Hat? You're up next," said Battle Ox, nudging the thief in the ribs with an oversized elbow.

"Right, thanks—"

"Break a leg, Hat!" "Watch out, this guy's a psycho—" "Try not to die too fast this time, Hat!" cheered his fellow Deckers as he stepped out the gate marked with a glowing ankh and…

…found himself on a green, grassy field with mountains rising steeply in the distance. He blinked; someone had played a 'Grasslands' effect card—his Duelist, or the opposition? _Probably my side, this Bakura guy seems more likely to go for creepy scenarios. _A clopping sound from around a grassy rise caught Kaito's attention, and he readied his arsenal of tricks; it looked like—yeah, his Duelist had a couple of nice little toys laid out, 'Shift' and 'Imperial Order', which might really come in handy in a pinch. Cool.

Being part of the Shadow Realm was getting easier all the time, and that was worrying him. A lot, when he had a moment to stop and think about it. Red Eyes _had_ warned him it could happen…

The clopping was getting louder; it sounded like a horse, and there were a _lot_ of mounted or hoofed critters in the Realm, many of them with some serious armament; Kaito had, for instance, gotten his ass handed to him on a freaking _plate_ one time by Gaia the Fierce Knight (and had sulked about it for days afterwards.) _Never mind, though; showtime, Thief Boy. _He adjusted his monocle, tugged his hat down further, braced himself to meet his opponent…

…goggled for a long, shocked moment at the creature who came trotting around the rise…

…and burst out laughing.

_"**H-Hakuba?"**_

"………..Bloody _HELL._ Kuroba." The bare-chested, white-coated blond centaur with Hakuba's face sighed. "I should've known I'd run into you in my first Duel." He clutched a wicked-looking halberd to his chest and looked defensive.

"What the #$! did you _DO, _Hakuba?"

Hakuba-centaur (the 'Mystic Horseman' card? wondered Kaito; hadn't the original been brown, not white?) shuffled his hooves and looked morose. "Tried to enlist Koizumi-kun's help in getting you out of this place, actually. And when she failed rather spectacularly… I lost my temper." He made a disgruntled noise reminiscent of a horse's snort. "A bit of advice: berating Koizumi-kun regarding any actual or imagined lack of magical competence is a very, very _bad_ idea."

"Oh… and?"

A muscle in the other's face twitched. "Apparently a certain acquaintance of hers is skilled at trapping people in the Shadow Realm; a very odd person with white hair and a perfectly deranged sense of humor by the name of Bakura Ryou—"

_'Bakura'? Whoops. _He had a sinking feeling. "Uh oh… and _that's_ why you're—"

A tail (blond) switched back and forth uncomfortably. "—in the arena with you today, yes. Bakura-san chose the card. A play on my name, he said… And Kuroba, if you say even _one word_ about 'just desserts', I'll—"

Kaito laughed, feeling better about his personal little world than he had in months; even if this meant that getting out of the Shadow Realm was going to be monumentally harder than originally planned, it was just so damned _good_ to see a familiar face. "You'll what? Kick my puppy?" he snickered. "Sorry, no, that'd be my Kuribou, wouldn't it? Not sure what those are? Don't worry, you'll find out… and I have a LOT more to say to you than 'just desserts', Hakuba, starting with how freaking LONG it took for you to finally get around to trying to get me out of here, and—"

A thick mutter of thunder came from the clear sky overhead; it had words in it, and sounded vaguely puzzled.

"—and crap; it'll have to wait." Fast change of tactics; the thief gestured skywards with one thumb at the detective-slash-centaur's puzzled look. "That was one of the Duelists; they get testy if we keep them waiting. You ready to rumble?"

Hakuba Saguru, former would-be detective and Duel Monsters up-and-coming competitor, looked somewhat panicky. He shuffled his hooves again as the thunder overhead grew louder. "Err—what exactly am I supposed to be doing--?"

The thief laughed a second time, reaching into a pocket and coming out with a glove full of interesting little toys of one kind or another. "Oh, _c'moooooon,_ Hakuba-kun, what do you _think_ you're supposed to be doing?" He grinned, white teeth flashing like a shark's. "It's just like old times, y'know, except the rules are a bit different here. Really different, in fact… But you're bright; you'll figure 'em out pretty quick, won't you? So—"

He took a deep, happy breath.

"—let's play a little game…"

_Oh_ yeah. Hakuba was about to learn a brand-new definition of the term 'ass-kicking' (as he had apparently just learned one for 'horse's ass'.) Revenge was going to be very, very, very sweet.

And afterwards?

Afterwards, the two of them could discuss how the hell they were going to get themselves back to the Real World over a beer or two in the Dead Man's Lounge.

_**-owari-**_

_**…**and you can find a pic by Icka m. chif, may Seshet bless her for it, at http colon slash slash pics dot livejournal dot com slash ickaimp slash pic slash 0005dbeb slash g4! Go, look! It's sort of what happens afterwards; see, I figure somebody besides Bakura had a Change Of Heart card, and…_


	7. Full House, Royal Flush, Two of a Kind

**_Chapter 7: Full House, Royal Flush, Two of a Kind…  
_**_**By Ysabet**_

Some days it just didn't pay to get out of bed.

_This… is getting old._

Kuroba Kaito, International Criminal 1412, the Kaitou Kid—whatever you chose to call him, which currently included not only 'that goddamned white-suited jackass' (Nakamori-Keibu's favorite) _and_ quite possibly the Shadow Realm's newest draft choice—fell through empty darkness, one hand holding his hat on, the other firmly clutching his companion's arm.

_Boring. Boring, boring, boring. Either those monsters got me and I'm dead and I didn't notice—which I really hope didn't happen—or the Interdimensional Matter Transporter Card worked and we're en route to Somewhere Safe. Either way, I have to say that the scenery sucks Big Time._

It really did; suck, that is. No light, no sound, nothing but the sensation of icy air flowing over clothing, hair, skin; like fingers, stroking away warmth and leaving behind the chill of the grave. Nada, zip, a great big blank universe of empty shadows and wind—

_--shadows… Hey, if I'm dead, why wouldn't I remember it? Unless the trauma blanked my mind; Jeeze, if that's the case I feel so cheated… Do I get to complain to the Management? Do I WANT to complain to the Management? _

Cloak streaming out behind, falling/flying endlessly through black, airy nothing—

_Naahhh; can't be dead. I may be dense sometimes, but I really think THAT would stick in my head. And besides—_

(he glanced sideways at his companion, whose black-on-black spikes of hair streamed as he fell, purple eyes unblinking)

_--I'm pretty sure Purple Eyes here'd be freaking out even worse than me if we'd gotten ripped to pieces. I don't know about his alter-ego, but if he's who I think he is, he's even younger than me._ Fighting off the uneasy recollection that he had actually begun his career as the Kid at the tender age of sixteen, Kaito shrugged to himself. _Whatever. At least we don't have that dragon after our asses anymore…_

They had been falling for what could have been anything from half an hour to several of the same; it was hard to tell without a point of reference. They had both tried to speak to each other only to find that sound would not carry; you couldn't even hear yourself breathe, which was more than a little hard on Kaito's nerves, thank you very much. And worst of all, there was no way to tell when or even IF they were ever going to stop—

A tug on the thief's sleeve made him jump slightly; Purple Eyes was holding something out… _Huh? OH. Heh; smart guy…_ It was a scrap of paper, almost invisible in the near-pitch-blackness of wherever the hell they were. What was not invisible was the writing; Kaito's companion had apparently hung onto the glow-in-the-dark marker once again.

'_YOU NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON WHERE YOU WANT US TO _GO' said the note in shaky characters. The thief blinked, thinking furiously. Taking the offered marker, he flipped the paper over and wrote:

'_Why don't you do it? It was your card and you know this magic stuff—I don't.'_

Black against black, Purple Eyes' fingers dragged a line through his previous message and wrote below it again:

'_YES IT WAS MY CARD BUT YOU PLAYED IT. SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT. PLEASE TRY.'_

Kaito scowled furiously; _Concentrate, huh? Riiiiight… Well, shit; it's not like I can think of anything better to do, so--_

Where did he want them to go?

That one was easy; 'someplace safe', he had said. Safe and dragon-free and NO TOMBS OR SCARAB-BEETLES…. and no fish… no zombies either…..

A grin flickered across Kaito's face despite himself. _There's no place like home… There's no place like home… There's no place like home… There's--_

It started out as a joke; it quickly grew into less of one and more of a soothing sort of mantra (after all, home WOULD fit the dragon/zombie/tomb/fish/beetle-free criteria) that he repeated over and over. Kaito's eyes closed; warmth and strength seemed to flow into him from where his hand was locked onto his companion's arm, bolstering the words that beat through his mind like waves on a shore, the rhythm of a heart:

_There's no place like home… There's no place like home… There's no place like home…_

Words are important; later on, Kuroba Kaito would think about this. In what he thought of as the Real World, words were a magician's stock-in-trade; they convinced the audience that you were going to pull a rabbit out of your hat, that you could make the cards do what you wanted them to, that you were the Kaitou Kid, International Criminal 1412, and not a slightly-deranged young man with a very odd mission…

And if words had power in the Real World, he'd think, you could just imagine what kind of power they had in a place as subjective as the Shadow Realm…..

_There's no place like home… There's no place like home… There's no place like home… No place like home…. Home…. Home….. Home….._

_I want to go home._

_NOW._

**------------------------------WHUMPH.**

…and just like that, the fall stopped. Not painlessly, not silently, not gracefully; the thief found himself lying face-down on a cold, gritty surface, feeling distinctly like he had just disjointed his nose and managed to spread himself out thinly over several yards of—

--pavement?

It felt like asphalt. It even _smelled_ like it.

Slowly, slowly, Kaito levered himself up one one hand, the other still attached to a groaning Purple Eyes' elbow. Slowly, slowly, the thief's eyes adjusted to the weak glare of streetlamps and electric lighting as he took in concrete curbs, sidewalks, shrubbery, houses…. Familiar houses…. One familiar house in particular, right up ahead and straight on 'til morning—

"I don't _BELIEVE_ it," he whispered…

He was home.

* * *

_/What in Ra's name did that thief do NOW? Where ARE we/_

_Um—I was sort of hoping you'd know…_

_/Aibou, most of my time spent in the Shadow Realm has been during Games, not… playing tourist. Battle leaves very little time for sight-seeing. And considering how the Thief has been affecting this place, I have not the faintest idea where we are. Geography here is as much an attitude as a physical thing—and we've moved around so much; we could be anywhere… we could exit the Game anywhere…/_

_Great. Jii-chan's gonna **KILL** us if we end up in China or Okinawa or, or France or somewhere else weird like that when we finally finish the ninth game—_

_/Let's worry about that when and if it happens, shall we? I believe we have other concerns at the moment… Errr… aibou? Why would France be so bad/_

'_Cause I totally failed French last year in school. All I can remember is how to say 'Where is the bathroom?', and if we finish the last game and end up in the middle of Paris I don't think that'll do us a lot of good, do you?_

* * *

If he had been asked, Kaito could have _said_ what he had been doing. He had been quietly, calmly, coming to terms with the fact that Home wasn't Home. 'Quietly and calmly' were, of course, for a given value of 'quiet' and 'calm', which meant that beneath everything he was gibbering.

First off, the street signs were wrong. He did NOT live on 'Earl of Demise Avenue'. That should've been a clue.

Secondly, the streets _themselves_ were wrong; they went off in just slightly different directions than the originals, curving where they should've been straight and running straight where they should've curved. There were sign-posts in the wrong places, and the signs themselves were jet-black and featureless; and everywhere there were details that just didn't fit, like how the streetlights were a funny bluish-purple color and the bus-stop was ten meters from where it should have been and Oh, Jeeze, the only stops listed were for midnight…

Who rode buses that only stopped at midnight? The living dead?

Last of all, there were the houses.

If you only glanced at them, they were okay—same old same old, Aishu-san's house there on the corner, the Yamamoto's place two lots down (and it looked like their son had left his bike in the drive again)—but if you stared hard enough… If you stared hard enough, you'd notice that the stucco on Aishu-san's walls seemed to fade into mortared stone, and the Yamamoto's tile roof looked an awful lot at second glance like thatch, and their son's bike had more pedals than any human being could manage at one time, even though it only had one seat.

_Ooogh. NOT home, then. Damn, damn, damn. I **knew** it was too good to be true._ Kaito sighed, mopped his face with one dusty glove and sat down somewhat heavily on a bus-stop bench. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto," he muttered, huddling slightly as he looked around. There were lights in the houses; and distantly, he could hear the occasional jangle of voices, laughing, arguing, just talking... People (the Shadow Realm's equivalent, at least) were going about their lives in there.

--not his kind of people, not yet, but—

"_Thief?"_ That was Purple-Eyes—no, now it was _Red_ Eyes, back in the saddle again; and damn but didn't he look awfully weird against Urban Normal? Like one of those dreams you had where the everyday mixed with the nightmares, thought Kaito glumly, the kind where you found yourself halfway through a heist wearing nothing but your boxers and monocle and-- He cut that off mid-thought and looked up into the black, scarlet-eyed face. _"Are you alright, Thief?"_

"…Hell if I know. This isn't my home. It sort of LOOKS like it, but it's not."

"_No."_ Red Eyes settled noiselessly beside him on the bench; black, wavering spikes of something resembling hair trembled in a blast of wind that swept across them both, bearing scents that Kaito knew like the back of his hand: asphalt, cut grass, exhaust… home. _"No, this is not your home. I suspect that the Shadow Realm did its best to approximate a match between what you wanted and what was available, but-- No."_

"Why does it look so much like it, though? Unless I really concentrate, I mean…" He was aware that he sounded pretty pathetic but somehow the thief just couldn't bring himself to care.

The creature beside him sighed, looking out across the suburban landscape. _"Remember the thunderstorm? You seem to have an uncanny knack for influencing your surroundings here; you… 'color' what's around you, to a certain extent. So what you see—and what I see, as well, I think—is based on what you want to see. Right now, you want your home the most, correct? Which house is yours?"_

Without thinking, Kaito raised his head and nodded towards a particular house down the block a little ways; he had to look away after a second, though. "That one," he said quietly. "I know every inch of it; every board and brick and scrap of paint… but it's not really my home, is it?"

"_No. Home is something unmistakable; when you see it, your heart will always recognize it, even if it remembers nothing else….."_ For a moment Red Eyes stared straight ahead at nothing, gaze turned inwards; he stood back up, moving out into the street again. They were at one of those junctions that you got sometimes when you had several lights shining down from above, giving everything multiple shadows; Kaito had four himself, but as Red Eyes spread his hands he looked like the center of a shadowy, 8-petaled chrysanthemum. _"Home can be a person as well as a place," _the dark voice murmured; _"Sometimes that's all we have left of it after time has stolen everything else away. Tell me, Thief: what is your home to you?"_

Silence; and for some reason, Kaito thought of Aoko as she had been when he had seen her last, out front across the street from his house, bringing in the newspaper wearing a ratty bath-robe and those stupid bunny-slippers of hers; she had waved to him where he was waiting for the bus-- "Home's… home. Where I belong."

"_Yes. But, Thief? You are beginning to belong HERE. It's entirely possible that the Realm was… trying to make you feel at home."_

_Oh shit,_ thought Kaito, stomach sinking to his dusty white shoes.

Restlessly he climbed to his feet as well, setting off down the empty sidewalk with no particular aim in mind. Overhead, the blank, black expanse of sky seemed to mock what should have been there—he had always been able to see at least _some_ stars in the Real World, despite the city's haze of light pollution. Not-thinking made the thief's feet follow a particular path; and it was with no real surprise that he looked up and realized that his hand was resting on a familiar gate-latch.

_Home. Only it's not. Sucks to be you, Kuroba._ He stared at where white-gloved fingers clutched cold metal, trying not to see anything beyond that point. If what lay in front of him changed like the other houses had, that'd be the last straw: home, becoming not-home before his eyes--

_(and yet,_ whispered a tiny voice inside Kaito's head, _it could BE home if you let it… This place wants you; it can be anything you want it to be if you work at it hard enough. Is that so bad?)_

Behind him, the barest whisper of boot-heels came to a halt. _"What do you see, Thief?"_

Brick and white-washed stucco, tiles and a slanted roof; the place where he liked to climb up and sit and watch the stars (only there weren't any here, right?), the bushes that needed trimming back and the lawn that always seemed two weeks late for a mowing-- Upstairs, someone had left a window open; there were curtains fluttering in the breeze, and if he was close enough to see he'd bet that one corner of them had a snag in them from when he had caught them on the frame a few months back—

Kaito stared; then stared harder, frowning as he concentrated. _It'll all change any minute now, just like the others--_

"_Well?"_

"…………………………."

It wasn't changing.

Once again, non-thought took over and allowed fingers to open the gate, allowed silent feet to take him up the path to the door. The name-plate that should've read _KUROBA_ was missing, he noted numbly; in its place was a card, rendered with careful detail in glaze on tile: _'GREAT PHANTOM THIEF' _it said. Gleaming dully in the lamplight, the blue-hatted-and-suited figure loomed mysteriously against a full moon. "Oh boy," whispered Kaito; 'CLICK' answered the door, and he realized that he had just turned the knob. The thief swallowed hard, glancing back over his shoulder; barely a step back, Red Eyes nodded silently, and he pushed the door open.

Same foyer; same hallway; same everything…. Okay, except for the portrait of his father—THAT looked different; the face wasn't Kuroba Toichi's, the suit was dark blue and all, and… Nnngh. He wasn't going to go into the secret room, he wasn't he wasn't he _**wasn't**._ All it would take would be a push in the right place, but—no. No.

He didn't think he could stand seeing _that place_ belonging to someone else.

Nobody seemed to be home; this, thought Kaito as he ghosted apprehensively through the familiar/unfamiliar rooms, was probably a good thing. It was/wasn't his home, things were the same/different everywhere--- the way the furniture was placed, even the dishes in the kitchen— He didn't dare go up the stairs to his/whoever's room. Not after staring at the photos in the family room… Okay, not _photos _per se; everything seemed to be hand-drawn or painted… But the people in the pictures weren't his mother, his father, or him.

_Not my home. Never my home. Whoever that is, he isn't me and I'm not him, no matter what this goddamn place is trying to do to me. I don't belong here and I'm not gonna be hammered into place like a Kaito-shaped peg into a, a, a card-shaped hole. I. Am. NOT. Gonna. Stay. Here. I--_

Behind him, Red Eyes had just asked a question; Kaito blinked, looking back. "Uhh—what?"

Throat-clearing sounds. _"….. Err. Thief? I realize that this is not actually your home, but…"_ The other made a rather embarrassed sort of gesture; it could have meant almost anything. _"That is… Where would the bathroom be?"  
_

"……………………." he said intelligently, his brain-cells momentarily fusing at the thought of Red Eyes and _facilities. _Kaito silently pointed towards what he hoped was the correct doorway. With a nod, his companion padded silently around the corner, and the thief resolutely refused to even THINK about the matter beyond that point. Looking around this bizarre mirror-image reflection of his home was… difficult, but damned near anything was better than contemplating Red Eyes and, well, facilities.

Erk. And—thinking back, _why_ had it almost sounded like he had said something in _French_, of all things? Why French?

_Never mind…_

A flyer on the refrigerator caught his eye as he wandered around a little aimlessly; the words were in an unknown, angular script, but somehow they seemed to make a kind of sense to him if Kaito stared at them long enough. _THEATER,_ he read, and _PERFORMANCE_ and _MAGIC SHOW_ and _GREAT PHANTOM THIEF._ There was a date (circled in red marker) that made little sense, but the tiny scribble beside it clanged alarm-bells inside Kaito's head that very nearly drowned out the sense of displacement that had struck him ever since they had entered the not-his-home…..

A tiny, red-marker Tic-Tac-Toe board.

From somewhere down the hall there was a distinct flushing noise. Restlessly the thief turned away, opening the back door and peering out. Birds fluttered and cooed in the pens on the back porch: jet-black doves. Not his birds, even though they seemed to know him; Kaito turned away without a word, closing the back door as Red Eyes reappeared around the corner, back from… doing whatever he had done. "I think I know where the next game might be," said the thief quietly as he fought off an almost overwhelming desire to ask if the other had washed his hands.

"_Hmmm?" _Red Eyes had found one of the many juggling-sets scattered throughout the house and was rather bemusedly hefting the small, brightly-colored balls in his hands. For a moment Kaito's mind flashed back on their conversation beside the village well: _'You're good at that; why?'_ he had been asked, and he had answered 'It's something my dad started teaching me when I was a kid…' And if he didn't know better, he would swear that these were the balls he had learned juggling with—

"_Where?"_ Kaito's companion placed the set back on the shelf where he had found it. _"I can feel it somewhere a distance from here; near enough to reach, but… If directions meant anything here at all, I would say that we need to go west. Well?" _In answer, the thief pointed at the tiny diagram on the flyer; Red Eyes shrugged after a moment. _"Well enough." _A scarlet gaze swept the room before returning to the thief's face. _"Is there anything you need from here before we go?"_

_Only a fresh serving of sanity,_ thought Kaito silently as he shook his head. _And maybe a side order of common sense, hold the fries._ "Let's go."

He locked the door on the way out; his key fit without any problem at all.

_

* * *

-- I SAID I was sorry. It just popped into my head--_

_/--and out of my mouth, aibou. 'Ou est les doublevay-ce?' I don't speak French; I'm not even certain where the place IS./_

_I'll show you on an atlas when we get back, okay?_

* * *

It was something of an anticlimax, thought Kaito, to end up waiting at the bus-stop for midnight to come…..

…..or at least it was until people—and things—started arriving there to wait for the bus as well.

At least there weren't any zombies, he considered; it could have been worse. The oddly-dressed men, women, kids and whatevers had begun to stroll up from various directions in ones and twos and groups, sitting down on the curb or loitering on the sidewalk; they chattered or stood idly silent, just like regular people. –Well, okay, NOT like regular people in that regular people usually had a reasonable number of limbs and carried less weaponry, but… still. Kaito politely stood up and offered his seat with a gesture to a diminutive crone-like creature carrying a broom; she accepted with an obaasan's smile (fanged) and sat down, smoothing her black skirt into place. Red Eyes shrugged slightly and joined him; and the thief noticed that the assemblage of bizarre creatures made way for him without comment but with a few rather wide-eyed stares.

"Um, do you have any idea what they use for money here?" he muttered from the side of his mouth to his companion, who frowned; if they were waiting for a bus, they were going to need coin of the Realm, so to speak—

Red Eyes seemed to be in the midst of a conversation with himself; Kaito could almost see his lips moving. _"I… do not know,"_ he said slowly; _"It's not something that I've had to deal with in the past. Most of my activities in the Realm have involved battles, not… public transport?"_ He said the last phrase with the air of someone repeating it after hearing it from someone else, which was not exactly surprising.

Wristwatches were being looked at among the crowd (sometimes on wrists, sometimes not; sometimes they were skeletal-armwatches or tentaclewatches or anonymous-furry-limbwatches), and someone behind Kaito could be heard muttering about how the bus was always running late these days and Wasn't it a crying shame and _SOMEBODY _should contact the Transport Office, they really should, and Oh Look, is that it now?

With a pneumatic hiss of brakes it arrived, doors accordioning open as it chugged to a stop; it was without surprise that the thief noticed that the bus was jet-black from bumper to bumper. Other than that, though, it looked pretty much like any other city bus he had ever ridden… Well, okay, except for the passengers ("Whoops, 'scuse me, sorry I stepped on your tentacle there—", but for the most part they were the usual crowded-too-many-to-a-seat lot ("Oof! You want to watch it with that scythe, buddy? Thanks.") and paid little attention to the pair…

…other than all those _looks_ that Red Eyes kept getting. Lots of them. And the soft buzz of whispered comment:

"—_pharaoh, what's he DOING here? It's really the—"_

"—_traveling with us? Doesn't he usually—"_

"—_never seen him quite like that before. The Dark Magician and the—"_

"—_rrrrrrRRRRRRrrrrrrrgrowlsnarlrrrrrrrawrrrrrrrrhissssss—"_

"—_when he battles, though; I'm not sure about the one with him, he—"_

And the bus-driver (green-scaled, fangy, bespecticaled, batwinged and with a distinct Korean accent) had waved away Kaito's cautious inquiries about paying the toll. And nodded respectfully to Red Eyes as he passed.

Weirder and weirder…..

They took a seat behind a lizardish mother-and-child pair, who chattered together in quick, sibilant voices. The bus smelled like all buses did, a funk of cleaning solution, gas fumes and personal hygiene or the lack thereof, possibly made a tad more exotic by more species differentiation that you usually found on a public transport. As the doors cranked shut and the engine revved, a sound from outside made the driver put on his brakes again. Kaito blinked, peering through his cloudy window; what the-- It had sounded like—

_OH no. Uh uh. If it were her, I'd've seen her by now, wouldn't I? No way._

The doors opened again, and in came a—

_**ERK.**_

She was slender, athletically built, and a fiery redhead. _Nice jewelry,_ thought the thief automatically… and nice fur, fangs, four legs, whiskers, black nose-tip and long, lashable tail. And nice stripes, too, lots of them. Nice stripes, yeah. In short, she was a _tiger_, big as a freaking horse and ornamented with begemmed anklets and a collar. One brilliant blue eye glittered as the great beast climbed aboard the bus; the other was seamed shut by a scar that bisected it, running down one furry cheek all the way to her throat.

"Thanks for waiting," said the tigress in a raspy, catastrophically familiar voice as Kaito gawked. The driver just nodded, closed the doors, and pulled away from the curb in a cloud of exhaust. Swaying with the movement of the vehicle, the tigress sauntered her impressive self a little ways down the aisle and then lay down calmly on the floor.

Right beside Kaito. He could hear her _breathing._

And he could see her shiny black claws flexing in and out against the ribbed rubber matting of the bus floor. In and out, in and out, in and out…..

_Oh. My. Freaking. God. 'There once was a lady from Liger / Who smiled as she rode on a tiger—'_

_…Aoko._

This, he thought in a rather panicky fashion, was one of those moments you read about where a person's life passed before their eyes. On the whole, his looked much shorter than he would have preferred, contained way too many violent bits and looked to be ending in teeth. _That voice. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit…… **Aoko…?** Nonono, NOT Aoko, remember that. Remember that. And stop hyperventilating RIGHT NOW. If you pass out, you'll fall on top of her and she'll turn you into a travel-snack._

_'They came back from the ride / With the lady inside/ And the smile on the face of the tiger…' Eeeeeeurkk!_

There went her claws again, in and out and in and out and in and… They made little popping noises as they bit through the rubber flooring; he could hear them ever-so-faintly over the engine sounds. In and out and in and out and…..

_I'd better not even THINK about flipping anybody's skirt. She won't hit me with a mop, she'll EAT me._

Sweat, sweat; Kaito sat rigid in his seat, wondering privately if the predator beside him would consider him to be white meat or dark meat, and the bus continued on its way.

The city that they passed through—well, _some_times it was a city, all concrete and light-poles and so forth; other times it looked different, thatch and stonework—wasn't the one he knew, but at the same time it was. Stores with familiar windows were mixed with the totally unfamiliar and bizarre (who, for instance, would ever expect there to be anything called 'Haga's Bug Emporium'? or a place with a deranged-looking black clown's face over the entrance? Weeeeeird) and the whole place had a feeling of surreality… which, come to think of it, was definitely _not_ helped by the citizenry. There were quite a few people/things/whatevers about, too—they strolled, shambled, slithered, crawled, clopped, staggered, lurched and sauntered past, appearances ranging from the commonplace to the bizarre—

(Kaito glanced around surreptitiously; Tigress-Aoko was daintily washing her paws with a large, pink tongue, and the little lizard-kid in the next seat forward was munching on a bag of what looked for all the world like dried flies.)

--which, all things considered, fit the surroundings perfectly. As they paused at a stop-light, he craned his head to read a billboard (_What in the name of Harry Houdini are 'Big Shield Guardna Marital Aids'--?? On second thought, never mind--)_, Kaito noticed that Red Eyes seemed to be whispering to himself again. "Something wrong?"

"_Not really… That is, my other self is somewhat perturbed by the denizens of this place." _Black spikes of hair shifted like seaweed as scarlet glows turned to regard the thief, and he barely kept from edging back; it was a bit unnerving to stare into that shadowy face from so close. _"We do not usually deal with them on such a… personal basis. Most of our contact with the Realm's inhabitants has been upon the field of battle," _he added a little remotely. _"One does not think of them as having other things to do."_

"Mmph. I guess." Kaito watched a pair of feathery-winged girls in school-uniforms cross the road, birdlike talons clutching shopping-bags. "When I was a kid, when my dad used to perform magic for audiences, he told me one time that it was important to remember that the magic only lived when it had people to be performed for, and that you had to remember that there was a world beyond the stage." The girls reached the sidewalk, talking animatedly; from a distance, they could've been normal students from anywhere at all, except for the wings. "He loved performing, my dad did."

"_And do you? Love to perform, that is?"_

The bus pulled away from the intersection, and Kaito smiled to himself. "Oh yeah; there's nothing like it, whether I'm showing off a new trick for my friends or evading the cops during a heist—a good audience makes a good show, and makes me do my best work." He chuckled. "A good audience, it can make you a little crazy, y'know? Stuff happens sometimes that you can't even explain—tricks are better, everything flows, it all goes smooth as silk without a hitch… And," he added, warming to the subject, "playing for a _bad_ audience is just the worst—like having to crawl uphill carrying a big rock, like that Greek guy in the myth, Sissy-something—"

Red Eyes blinked, a sight reminiscent of stop-lights changing. _"Sissy-something…?"_

"Yeah—a dead king, I think he was—he'd managed to cheat death for ages, so after the gods finally did him in he had to spend eternity pushing this boulder up a hill. Soon as he got to the top, it'd roll right back down and he'd have to do it all over again; must've pissed him off no end. Anyway… that's what a bad audience is like: Sissy-something and his rock."

"………_I… see. I think. Thief?"_

"Yeah?"

"_My other self wishes to tell you 'good luck'. For your next performance, I believe."_

"Oh? Uh—"

"Do you do magic tricks?" purred a familiar voice from Kaito's left; he jumped. He had almost forgotten—

Tigress-Aoko was _looking_ at him with one interested blue eye; her pointed ears were perked, her whiskers were forward, and she had the appearance of a cat eying a mouse that might, just possibly, be more interesting alive than dead. "Are you a magician like the Great Phantom Thief?" She—well, what she was doing was probably smiling; he sure hoped so, since it involved a lot of teeth. "I love magic shows… Well? Are you?"

_Uh—what? Oh, right._ "Sort of," he hedged, thinking fast. _What to do, what to—oh. OH. Stupid me; of course…"_ And Kaito suddenly grinned; it was like the world had just snapped into place, even if it was only for a second… because he _knew_ exactly what to do. "M'name's… Kaito. And this—" (he held out an open hand) "—is for you." _POOF!!!_ The scarlet silk rose glinted in his white glove as the Tigress' eye grew wide. "What's your name?" asked the magician as he handed it to her.

"OH! Thank you— I'm—"

He never got to hear her name, as the sudden pneumatic hiss and squeal of brakes drowned it out. _"I believe we've arrived,"_ murmured Red Eyes from beside him, siding off the seat. All around them people were gathering their belongings and climbing to their feet, tentacles or other appendages as the bus slowed. Tigress-Aoko said something else, but her words were lost in the tumult. "—What?"

"I _said—"_ and the irritation in the slightly growly voice was clear "—that we'd better get inside if we want good seats. I'm larger than you two are, you can follow me if you'd like—" Her broad, striped body moved easily through the crowd like a furry tank as Tigress-Aoko pushed forward; the thief and Red Eyes looked at each other and then silently trailed along behind.

It was a performance hall like any other—big, dark and drafty, with that same cleaning-fluid-and-body-odor scent that all such halls in Kaito's experience had. This one might have had somewhat wider seats than the usual (presumably to accommodate the varying body-shapes of its clientele) but still, it was… just another hall. He wasn't certain whether to be disappointed or not. The aisles were pretty wide, too; Tigress-Aoko picked a spot near the front and reclined, nodding at the two open seats beside her; Kaito shrugged, sat down… and removed his hat somewhat belatedly.

You didn't wear a hat during a performance, after all… not unless you were the performer.

Beside him, Red Eyes was watching the rest of the audience stream in through the double-doors. _"So many,"_ he murmured; _"I have called upon the denizens of the Realm over and over in my battles… so many of these, so many times: Celtic Guardian, Black Lustre Soldier, Lady of Faith… but if I have ever walked with them in this manner, I cannot recall it." S_carlet swept across the rows; occasionally someone would nod respectfully back or elbow their neighbor and say an excited something as they saw the sanguine gaze light upon them. Red Eyes drew a deep breath. _"If for nothing else, Thief, I have that to thank you for…"_

"Umm, right. You're welcome, I guess." Kaito nodded, even though he wasn't quite sure what he was nodding about. "It's the audience thing again, though—remember what I told you that my dad said? Magic only lives when you have someone to perform it for… So maybe your duels give _these_ guys an outlet too. They all seem to know who you are." The woman/thing/whatever at the box-office had just waved them through, just like the bus-driver had—no tickets had been required, not even of Tigress-Aoko (which, the thief though somewhat dubiously, might have had more to do with their erstwhile companion's teeth and claws than with any Respect-Of-Red-Eyes that was going on.) "You call on 'em in those duel-thingies, right? Back in the Real World, I mean?"

"_Yes. I call upon them, I use them to fight my battles, and—they die within the duels. The deaths are never permanent—frequently they are resurrected with 'Monster Reborn' or some such, or they simply are back to normal for the next duel, but still… they die. They are slain by their opponents; they are sacrificed by I and my other self to summon creatures of greater power. Why do they not resent us?"_ A passing large, greenish furry thing with smaller greenish furry things in tow nodded its fangy head at Red Eyes, shifting its hold on a bag of what looked like popcorn as it went by. _"Why do they not hate us, the duelists who drag them into our conflicts?"_

"Why don't you ask them?"

"_What?"_

The thief blinked at Red Eyes innocently. He had faced enough of his own ghosts during this whole mess; somehow it just seemed fitting that someone else should take their turn. "C'mon, you want to know, don't you? Oh, don't give me that look; you know you do. Here, hang on, I'll ask for you—" He _knew_ he was pushing it, but somehow Kaito just couldn't resist. Ignoring the sputters to his left, the thief turned towards Tigress-Aoko. _Oh well,_ he thought cheerfully as he applied his absolute best Poker Face, _If she attacks, at least I'm already used to running from her… _

"Um, hey—could I ask you a question?" She was, he saw, absently grooming her claws with short, careful licks; pale pink tongue still sticking out from between her teeth, she looked up inquiringly. "Do you know the guy with me?"

A blue eye blinked. "Of _course_ I know him; everybody does. What kind of question is that?" She licked at a huge paw again.

Red Eyes was silent now, and Kaito studiously kept from looking his direction. "Well… what do you and the others think about him? I mean," and the thief floundered a little; how did you _say_ this sort of thing, anyway? "I mean, he-- Does anybody have any problem with him pulling you into duels?" When her brow furrowed above her muzzle, Kaito elaborated. "You know, those fights where he puts you against some of the others living here—"

"Oh, do you mean the Games?" Lick, lick; shiny ebony claws were spread wide for inspection, and the thief fought off a strong vision of Nakamori Aoko after having just painted her nails. The tigress seemed slightly confused; long whiskers twitched as she frowned again. "We _all_ play the Games; only a few of us get called on by the Outside players, the Duelists…" She curled a paw, graceful claws extending and retracting idly. "I've never played in one of those myself but I've been told that it's not much different from one of our regular Games, except that you don't get to choose who you play with or against; you're summoned to one of the playing-fields, you fight—" She yawned, pink tongue curling past far too many teeth for comfort. "My cousin Amazon Archer told me that when _she_ got summoned last year, she only lasted five rounds before she got killed by the Flame Princess."

"_Your cousin…"_ Red Eyes was leaning forward, two unwavering flames in the blackness of his face. _"She died-- I know that after the Game ended, all was well with her, the players are always restored afterwards; but did she not resent those who used her life like that? Did she not hate the Flame Princess… and the Duelists?"_

Tigress-Aoko tilted her head a little, flicking an ear; a delicate silver hoop twinkled. "Why? It was only a Game… and we play those all the time. ALL the time. And when they're over, they're _over_. " She hesitated, obviously torn between respect and stating something that was so very obvious to her, so ingrained. "Otherwise… how could we face our friends the next day?"

"Like me and Nakamori," muttered Kaito to himself; "When the game's over, it's over and that's it, at least for me—"

Claws slid back into their sheaths and the tigress regarded them both with one lambent blue eye. "Yes. Sometimes the dragons hold grudges—but they're _dragons;_ they're like that. The rest of us—" and she shrugged, sleek-furred shoulders shifting beneath stripes.

"_I… see."_

_

* * *

__I told you not to worry. When we duel, none of the cards—I mean, the spirits—I mean… you know, the people here… seem to hold grudges when we see them again, and just because we're here now instead of in the—what'd they call it, the 'Outside'?— why should they feel any different? The Black Magician even sacrificed himself for us back when we were up against that magician guy Pandora, remember?_

_/I know, but Aibou… My memories do not reach beyond the moment that I awoke within the Puzzle. No matter how long ago I came to be, in a way I am younger than an infant not yet old enough to walk. Although the Heart of the Cards is my legacy and part of my soul, I know very little of the Shadow Realm's inhabitants save for the small things I remember and the experiences I've had since I—/_

_Okay, okay! I get it. Jeeeeze, enough drama. It doesn't matter, really; they know what they're doing, don't they? The spirits in the cards, I mean; they fight for us, they fight WITH us… and… Think about Pandora again, remember how his Black Magician looked at him? They know us. And I think they understand who they're fighting for when we call on them, at least the Duelists who can reach the Heart of the Cards._

_/Perhaps you are right. It's true, they seem to recognize us here, don't they?/_

_Uhuh. Feel better now? Good. Don't worry so much; you'll give us wrinkles._

_/……very funny, Aibou. But— thank you./_

* * *

"—hello? Hello in there?" Kaito waved a gloved hand in front of the face of the black figure beside them. "Y'know, if I'd had that glow-in-the-dark marker in my hand, I could've given you a new look you wouldn't believe, you were so out of it—"

A burning stare came close to frying him alive. _"Don't even THINK of doing that, Thief. Not if you want to live."_

"Killjoy."

Settling back into his seat, Kaito sighed, fiddling idly with his hat as he waited for the curtain to rise; it felt odd, holding it in his lap like that—how often did he take it off when he was the Kid, after all?—and he turned it around by its brim, running a gloved fingertip across the fabric. For a hat that had its origins from a game-card, it sure looked and felt like the real thing, hidden pockets and all; and Kaito wondered if, when he made it back to the Real World, he'd be able to take it with him. Man, he sure hoped so, or Nakamori-keibu was going to get a better eyeful than usual, and that was _not_ good, now was it?

There was a tag on the inner lining; in faded ink, it read: _BEWD Milliners, Inc. _What on earth was a 'bewd'? Frowning, the thief reached deep into his headgear and rummaged around at the far end; it looked a little different than before. Something about the texture—

"Huh?"

His fingers had brushed against… _fur? _Something warm and alive—and before he knew it, Kaito had grabbed instinctively and yanked hard, pulling out…

"Oh, for _crying_ out loud. This place just keeps getting weirder and weirder." The pink-eyed, white-furred bunny twitched its nose at him inquisitively as it dangled from the thief's hand and he regarded it solemnly. "You know, if I stuck a moustache on you and gave you a badge, you'd look just like Inspector Nakamori would after a long conference with a vodka bottle," he told it; it twitched at him again, and Kaito sighed before placing it carefully onto the auditorium floor. "Go be a good rabbit and… I dunno, find yourself a carrot or something Or a lady rabbit. Whatever." It hopped off into the shadows of the seats, and he allowed his head to fall back against the back of his chair. "Mmph. Wake me when the show starts, okay?" he said to his companions, eyes closing tiredly.

"_Certainly."_

If it had been quiet, perhaps he would have napped; God knew he was tired enough. But all around Kaito, the dull roar of the audience's whispers washed back and forth like a tide. Occasionally a bit of it would become audible, and some of the conversations concerned _him_….

"_What WAS that thing that that magician just pulled out of his hat? I would've thought he'd pull out a kuriboh—"_

"_I think it's called a 'bunny', they have them in the World Outside. Funny-looking thing, isn't it? Eww, pink eyes, and did you see those ears?—"_

"_Brrrr… I'm glad I've never had to manifest, I don't think I'd like it. A 'bunny'? What else do they have in the World Outside?"_

"……_Well, I've heard Dark Magician talk to those Blue Eyes bigshots about something called an 'airplane'; it's supposed to be sort of like a big metal dragon that drinks oil and carries people in its stomach, only it lets them out afterwards…"_

"—_You're JOKING. No, really? Gods, that has got to be messy."_

"_And he kept talking about the 'Kaiba Blimp Of Doom', but he said that it was an obvious attempt to overcompensate for one's shortcomings, whatever that meant. I think maybe his alchemy lab needs a little better ventilation sometimes… those fumes CAN'T be good for you, even if you're a Level Six."_

"_Mmph. Well, you know what they say about magicians, always smoking something…"_

(There was a faint noise from Kaito's seatmate; if he didn't know better, he could've sworn that Red Eyes was suppressing a snort of laughter. _Must've been the 'Blimp Of Doom' thing,_ he thought drowsily, and allowed his attention to drift again.)

"—_mama? I need to go to the baaaathroom!"_

"_Again? Dear, could you please take your little brother to the lavatory? And don't forget to make him wash his hands, all six of them this time. Go on, now, the show'll be starting soon—"_

(The thief tuned that bit out, yawning, stretching his attention a little further…)

"—_heard that this act drew record crowds in Endymion and Thebis. I wonder if he needs an assistant?"_

"_Oh, don't be such a fangirl, Mari! You wouldn't look good in a leotard."_

(…and further…)

"_HOW much for popcorn? That's outrageous! Pass me one of those candied bat's-heads, will you? Thanks." Crunch!_

(...and even further…)

"_and then Rhea and me told Thak to get a life and stop bothering us, and Rhea let him have it with her club—you know, the one with the copper nails in it?—and then Thak showed up at Trish Firehair's later on completely trashed with his loincloth on backwards, and we had to call the Troll Squad and he got booked for disturbing the peace and public nudity, you should've seen it—"_

"_Thief?"_

"—_and the next day he made bail but then he got summoned RIGHT into one of those Outsiders' games with this huuuge hangover, and he—"_

"_Thief? Can you hear me?"_

"—_all over the playing field, it was so disgusting, and Rhea and me damn near laughed ourselves sick—"_

"_Thief?"_

(There was something poking him in the shoulder…) _"Thief? Wake up."_

"!!!" Dark blue eyes popped wide open. "H-Huh? What?" Blinking hard, Kaito turned his head towards the pair of lambent scarlet eyes that regarded him through the darkness that now filled the hall. "What's wrong?"

"_Nothing is wrong yet, Thief… but the show is beginning. Wake up and pay attention."_

"……..Oh." Kaito scrubbed at his eyes; from her place beside him, Tigress-Aoko purred briefly in amusement, her one eye flashing. "Right."

_Showtime_.

And on the stage, the curtain opened. And the lights focused on a cloaked figure wearing a top-hat—

_

* * *

To be continued…………_

_**Ysabet's Notes:** A little shorter of a chapter this time, but that felt like a good ending bit. Sorry about the delay; what with the holidays, some side-fics and a lot of work on another large fic of mine ('Windfall'), this one got set aside for a bit. But it's back up and moving, and we're ready for showtime and the last two games. And for the Kaiba brothers; don't forget about THOSE two, whatever you do—because Seto and Mokuba are waiting._

_BTW, the chapter title was just my idea of a little joke. Don't murder me for it, okay? I just couldn't resist! 'Royal Flush', heh heh heh…_

_And now, because I can't seem to leave well enough alone, here's the next installment in the Omake Dinner Theatre Series, with at least one more to follow. I'm not quite sure how these things turned into a storyline on their own, but they did. That'll teach me._

_**Omake Dinner Theater IV: In Through The Out Door**_

"You know, I just can't believe nobody's ever tried this before." Paper rustled; a smell of ink permeated the air of the small cottage on the edge of one of the Shadow Realm's smaller hamlets.

"Think about it logically, Kuroba… They'd have to know with complete certainty that there was someplace to go, and besides, if they're native to the Realm, I doubt it could work in any permanent sort of way. And… perhaps this is why playing cards seems to be prohibited here with such emphasis."

"Mmph; I s'pose… Hand me that jar of silver ink, will you? I need to put the last touches on—" Silence, and then a flapping noise as of someone trying to dry a recalcitrant piece of paper. "Ooookay; guess it's now or never—Ahem. _Great Sh—"_

"Wait a minute, WAIT a minute! Why are _you_ doing it?"

"YOU think about it logically, Sherlock: Who made the damned card? Who's been here the longest? And lastly, who beat your pony-tailed four-legged butt into the ground at our last Duel? You'd've been headed to the Big Pasture In The Sky if it hadn't been for Mystical Elf and her potions— So shuddup; I'm gonna be the one to do it. _Great S--_"

"Really? So tell me, Kuroba: _Who_ has been proven already to have access to the Heart Of The Cards? I didn't win all those bloody tournaments just because you were in my deck. Well?"

"…………………"

"Well?"

"…………..if we end up six feet under in the Graveyard I'm gonna tell the Headless Knight that you said his horse had a nice ass. Here, take the goddamned card."

"_Thank_ you. Ready? Hang onto my shoulder." There was a throat-clearing sound as hooves shuffled nervously on threadbare carpet. "Right….."

"…..**_Great Shoehorn Of Destiny!"_**

Reality went POOF!!! and the lights went out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a knock on the door. It creaked open.

"Hello, Hat? Hat, are you around? Black Magician Girl and I were wondering if we might borrow your--- Hello? Is anybody home?" A tall, purple-and-blue set of headgear was removed as someone ducked in through the low doorway. "Hat?"

"I don't understand, Djet, I could _swear_ I saw him and that centaur friend of his through the window just a moment ago—oh; what's this?"

"It… looks like a… _card_….. "

"It can't be a card, cards are illegal here… Of course, this IS Hat we're talking about. Djet--? "

Two pairs of eyes locked on the piece of paper, and then looked up furtively at each other. Magicians and engineers have one thing very much in common: an itch to _experiment._ An itch that was being felt…

"--I wonder what it does?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"…_.groan…."_

"Owwww… I—knew we shouldn't have made that left at Albuquerque— Hakuba? You okay?"

"I think so—aaagh, my legs are tangled up--- oh—"

"………………………."

"………………………."

"Hakuba? You're still a horse's ass. WHY are you still a horse's ass?"

"I—ow—could ask you the same, Kuroba—and it's 'centaur,' as I've told you repeatedly. And I have no idea. I thought we'd go back to our normal selves when we were sent home….. OH. Dear. Bloody hell."

"Yeeeeeeahhhh….. Where the #$&!! are we? The ground's all hard, sort of like… baked clay And there's trenches, regular ones, like a checkerboard—and that's not the sky up there… I see some columns off that way, at least I _think_ they're columns and—oh. Oh, wait just a—a minute—"

"I see it, Kuroba. I've been in your home once before, after all."

"…..That's my dad's portrait. My dad's portrait, up there on the wall... It's, it's so BIG. That's my dad's—"

"Yes, yes, panic later, please…. We're standing in your foyer on a tile floor; those aren't columns, they're table-legs, and more vitally, that _thing_ hanging down from it looks to be the wire from a telephone. Am I correct?"

"….that's my dad's portrait up there……."

"_Quite,_ Kuroba. Kuroba? Kaito? Dammit, thief—" A deep breath. **"HAT!"**

"Bwah?"

"Please pay attention, will you? Your particular skills are about to come in very handy, as centaurs are not what one could call deft climbers. Do you see that table? There _IS_ a phone on it, isn't there?"

"Uh—yeah? Why? And why the freaking HELL are we so, so, so _SMALL?!?"_

"Err. Well. You used one of the remaining cards that you had left over in your pocket to paint the image of the Shoehorn on, did you not? An effect card, one without a monster? I estimate the size of the cards to be roughly nine centimeters tall; the 'picture' area could not be more than half that, which would make us at the very most no more than four centimeters tall. Probably less, considering the texture of the tiles underfoot and the depth of the trenches—the grout—which, by the way, could do with a little work once you have regained your usual size— And therefore, without our original bodies existing in this world as a reference, we were… probably sent back as…. ah…….. that is…… I mean, hypothesizing that the cards work as a template for—no, wait, that's wrong……….. errr……….. "

"Hakuba, did someone tell you when you were a kid that admitting that you _didn't know something_ would make your head explode? Just wondering. Now, about that 'usual size' thing…. The phone, huh? Who'd you want me to call, Akako? You really think she'll help us?"

"Once she stops laughing, yes…"

"…and once you finish apologizing for pissing her off, you mean. Remember, Hakuba? That's how YOU ended up stuck in the Realm in the first place."

"………………."

"Okay. So—we need to cross the Great Tiled Foyer Desert, scale what looks like a thousand meters of table-leg, move a gigantic phone-handset from its cradle, jump up and down on a bunch of freaking huge buttons, and scream like blue fuck into the receiver. AND convince Koizumi to come help us. Am I forgetting anything?"

"Only that you'll be doing it all. As I said, centaurs aren't very good at climbing."

"Wonderful. Hakuba? After this, running from you and Nakamori's brute squad will be a _pleasure_."

"Understood; I'm very much anticipating getting back to the chase myself. Let's get going, shall we? It looks to be quite a long ways away… relatively speaking…"

"Yeah. Oh well… at least there aren't any dragons around. I HATE dragons. Hey, did I ever tell you about the time me and the Trap Master got piss-drunk on some of the Black Magician's home-made hooch and booby-trapped the Hyozanryu's lair with a couple of my sonic grenades, wire, a banana peel and fifty-three gallons of bright pink paint?"

"Let's just _GO,_ Kuroba."

Very small footsteps set off, keeping time to the ringing of very tiny horseshoes.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

_**-Owari-**_


End file.
